1) A few days ago, at the urging of a reader, I attempted to figure out why the comments section on this blog was a big cluster freak on the page instead of separated into paragraphs like you good readers intended. After a useless twenty-seven minutes of poking around my stylesheets, twenty-seven minutes that I will never get back, I got fed up.

And by “got fed up” I mean I emailed my friend Mic Funk, also known as “funk in your junk,” “funky hunk,” or “thebestwebdesignerintheworld.” It took him all of two seconds to find the problem. Easy, I guess, when you know where to look.

I turned to him because thebestwebdesignerintheworld makes hazy subjects clear. He humors me as I explore numerous side projects, and we have been working together on a website to raise philanthropy awareness that will be publicly launched this winter in my area.

When we meet, thebestwebdesignerintheworld patiently explains what RSS means and the difference between AJAX and scripting languages. Thebestwebdesignerintheworld makes apples into apple pie, and turns blueberry pie back into blueberries. He’s that good.

He un-complicates the complicated.

2) I have been working with my real estate agent for almost a year, and the condo I bought with him won’t even be finished until next May. Which gives me more time than the average homebuyer to ask an incessant number of questions. That’s why I like my real estate agent. I ask a lot of questions. He has a lot of answers.

My real estate agent was so good at answering my questions in the beginning that when the time came to finally sit down and sign papers, I was ready to blindly sign by the “x” without reading the papers.

Which was stupid. Really stupid.

And you know what he did? He made me sit for an extra thirty or so minutes, and painstakingly explained each page before allowing me to put pen to paper. So I would know. So I would be informed. TIME IS MONEY! I wanted to yell, but when he was finished, I understood. I understood it was good to know about the biggest financial decision of my life. His behavior allowed me to trust him. And it’s really good to trust the person who has the biggest financial decision of your life in their hands.

3) This Sunday, my little sister and I went to the grocery store that doesn’t take credit cards to buy ingredients for a homemade pizza. The grocery store that doesn’t take credit cards doesn’t remind you of this fact until you’re in line, because they assume you’re not a freaking idiot. I, however, did not know this; it was only once we had carefully chosen the mushrooms and the pepperoni that I stood in line, realizing I had no cash, no debit card, and no good sense. A lonely credit card sat useless in my purse.

The cashier dialed the customer service office to put our cart on hold, while the couple behind us let out one of those “I can’t believe you freaking idiots didn’t know this grocery store doesn’t take credit cards” kind of sighs. To which I darted my “I can’t believe you’re so lame that you’re buying pasta IN A CAN” kind of looks.

Simultaneously, our bagger walked over to the cashier and asked how much our grocery bill was. The cashier showed him our receipt for $29.93, and then the bagger walked over to the customer side of the check out, swiped his debit card, and paid for my groceries. He PAID for MY groceries. And he makes what? $5 an hour?
These vignettes each hold a lesson on how to sell yourself successfully:

Lesson #1 – Make complicated things uncomplicated.

Lesson #2 – Instill trust through action.

Lesson #3 – Go the extra mile.

… and a fourth lesson that they all have in common:

Lesson #4 – Make others feel smart. Or, at the very least, less stupid.

(And yes, later that afternoon, tucked inside a hand-written thank you card, I paid the grocery bagger back, plus tip.)

Sell without the pitch.