22 Comments

Inspiration, Knowing yourself, Self-management, Work/life balance

My non-advice for the New Year

posted by Rebecca Thorman  ////  January 8

Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.

I’ve been writing a lot of crap lately. No, really, I have. You don’t know because I have been gracious enough not to post it, but it’s been crap. Complete and utter sh*t.

I think it’s because I feel obligated to write an inspiring New Years post, but regurgitating what the rest of the world is saying makes me nauseous. And also, I haven’t been too inspired lately, and this blog is supposed to be happy, angry, inspirational, controversial, exciting – anything but depressing – but depressing is the only way to describe my writing as of late.

I was going to show you my calendar of the nineteen meetings I have this week, which is typical. Perhaps too typical as I’ve discovered it’s fairly easy to become fairly crazy fairly quickly.

And speaking of that, has anyone else noticed that it only took a short two years out of college for you to completely lose the ability to go to sleep at 5:00 am one night and wake up absolutely fine, refreshed and ready to face the day the next morning? Because I tried it recently and I can’t do it any longer. I’ve lost this valuable skill at the ripe old age of twenty-four.

But anyway, I was going to explain the masterpiece of scheduling that my calendar is, and describe my system of scheduling meetings according to existing meetings, all packaged nicely and neatly in a pretty list, but it was really boring. Really.

Moreover, it seemed a little misleading to sell you my tricks of the scheduling trade, when I’m so utterly exhausted. And if nothing else, I’m honest.

Honesty has gotten me in trouble lately though. I’m starting to say “no” more often, and stand up for myself, and people don’t really like that. And I’m still figuring out how to deal with that, because I’m saying “no” and I’m standing up for a reason, good reasons, but I’m not sure the other parties feel the same way. And the transition from sugary-sweet observer to strong active leader is blaringly still en route.

Then I thought I would tell you about the resolution I made one Monday afternoon and subsequently broke this past Saturday night. And there’s no point now, which is cool, you know, because it’s cliche fun to break your resolution a week after you’ve made it. Er, whatever.

I also thought about writing how I feel like I can’t trust many people lately, which is bad, because trust is really important to getting things done. Mostly I feel this way because someone I look up to let me down. But to be honest, I had him on a pedestal, so it was only a matter of time before I found out that he didn’t like where I had told him to sit.

Other posts included how listening to old-school music makes me happy, and that exercising is good, but better when the cute personal trainer guy talks to you, or how your number one resolution should be to start a blog in the New Year. And at one point, I even thought about just copying and pasting the lyrics to all the music I was listening to, because it just seemed to say everything that I could not.

But time after time, the posts didn’t make the cut, because there is so much advice out there on how to start your New Year off right, and the sky is still blue (or gray in Madison’s case), and you are still who you are. So don’t worry so much.

This is, after all, the year of the Rat. That means it’s “a lucky year, a good time to start a new venture. The rewards will not come without hard work, but with careful planning they will arrive.”

Great things are going to happen this year. And you’re going to make them happen.

That’s all you need to know.

Get to it.

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  • http://www.monicaobrien.com/2008-is-the-year-of-the-rat/ Monica O’Brien » Blog Archive » 2008 Is the Year of the Rat

    [...] I know, because everyone keeps reminding me. [...]

  • http://www.newlycorporate.com BrandonA

    Thanks for putting down almost exactly what I was thinking. They holidays are just to crazy. I never seem to ease into a year, I always go running into a new year, which is fine, but frustrating. At our blog, i’ll sit down for hours trying to write something. But when blogging is the least of your worries at the moment, you can’t help but put out “complete and utter sh*t.” Its hard to disconnect from things, and sometimes thats essential to writting. I hope I aquire that skill soon. Thanks again for a great post!

  • http://knoxify.com CP

    Slay that dragon Rebecca. I’m right there with you on this.

  • http://www.restlesslikeme.com Norcross

    I couldn’ t agree more. I’ve never cared for the day, myself. Luckily, living in Florida tends to lessen New Year’s effect on people, since it was still in the high 70′s on January 1. And if I posted half the crap I wrote down, no one would read it. I’m sure you’re not the only one like that.

    As for song lyrics, how’s this strike you?

    “I am nervous and anxious, it really counts this time. And you know all my favorite singers have stolen all of my best lines” Blue Carolina by Alkaline Trio

  • http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

    @ Brandon – Thanks for the kind comments. You described exactly what I’ve been doing. I’m happy we’re all in the same boat.

    @ CP – Heck yeah ;)

    @ Norcross – I like the lyrics- that’s exactly what I was feeling! I had nothing original to add to the conversation. And thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one to write crap – ha!

  • Joe

    Ramble On….

  • http://www.theorythree.com/blog/ Dan Merfeld

    Ouch, I could have written this post… if I wasn’t in the exact same boat!! There must be some writing block cloud cast over us all. Weird.

    It took me over a month to write anything half-worthy to include in my blog. When I finished, I rewrote it three times and I’m still not happy with it.

    I wish I could offer some advice to get out of the rut, but I’m struggling myself. I’ve been listening to a lot of random music lately, that seems to help somewhat… Eric Hutchinson is on album repeat right now if that helps any.

    Keep your head up, you’re a talented writer, and that will never go away even though the words sometimes do.

  • http://www.employeeevolution.com Ryan Paugh

    It’s hard to try and give great New Years advice when we spend most of the year spewing everything we think we know to our readers.

    Although I am a fan of the New Years resolution, sometimes simplicity says it best. Just make it happen.

  • http://tiffanymonhollon.com/blog Tiffany Monhollon

    I understand this feeling. The new year puts on a lot of pressure. Gotta write something brilliant, gotta stay on message with everyone else. Plus, the whole idea that you should be starting fresh with everything – ideas, tasks, to do lists, e-mail. When the reality is, Jan 1 was a Tuesday, which means there was a Monday before it and a Friday befor ethat.

    It’s enough to make a person feel overwhelmed.

    Glad to see you writing again, though. It helps just to get thoughts out there.

  • http://careerwaymark.com Scott Williamson

    Sometimes the best New Years resolution is to NOT have one.

    Hang in there, inspiration will come again.

    For what it’s worth you’re not alone in feeling uninspired.

  • http://cuberules.com Scot Herrick

    And then there are times where you just post something that comes close. In so doing, the act of writing and posting itself will generate other ideas and other insights just because you got in the game.

    You continue to raise the level of your game by continuing to do the work. When you do the work you will eventually break through to a different level and you’ll wonder what the problem was in the first place.

    Keep looking at your work with a critical eye. But keep doing the work.

  • Stephanie

    This post gleams of authenticity. I’ve thought about motivation quite a bit lately. Which comes first, action or motivation? There’s a balance of both, it’s cyclical, each feeds on the other. We are challenged with periods of quiet so that we crave and experience those euphoric moments of passion. I think I read the essence of that from a modern urbanite… Celebrate the quiet. Thanks for the post!

  • http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

    @ Joe – thanks!what you’ve done

    @ Dan – I just read your post and uh, yes, you should be happy with it. It’s so good. I’ll look up Eric Hutchinson. And thanks for the nice comments :)

    @ Ryan – you got it!

    @ Tiffany – Definitely. You said it so much more concisely than me ;). I like your thoughts on the days of the week. We’re all just doing the best we can!

    @ Scott – Thanks! Good to have your support. And I doubt that you’re uninspired that often!

    @ Scot – Your comment is exactly why I posted the post. I just needed to get it out there and said so I could move on. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to write something great until I admitted that I wasn’t writing so great lately.. ha!

    @ Stephanie – thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yes, quiet is good… I’ll go re-read my past posts now ;)

  • http://www.jamesschellman.com/blog James Schellman

    Rebecca – what I like most about this post is the humanity. You show us that leaders do not always have to have all the answers or be perfect at every moment of the day. You are being honest and trasparent, and that helps to increase your level of leadership. Keep up the good work.

  • Joe

    Rebecca,

    Perhaps you could send James’s comment to the nay sayers on the WSJ blog ;)

  • http://raychung22.com/blog Ray Chung

    Rebecca,
    Thanks for spreading the chinese culture to your readers!
    Ray

  • bill

    Excellently said, from top to bottom.

  • AK

    I think you should publish that post about scheduling your meetings. Lots of people love reading about how other people organize their stuff

  • Karen

    One person’s sh*t is another person’s treasure. Isn’t that the way the saying goes? =)

    Life lesson #1–don’t EVER do anything out of obligation. Wrong motivation!

    Life lesson #2–don’t EVER feel bad about saying “no” to something/someone, if you’re saying it for the right reason.

    I hope that schedule of yours has some personal time penciled in? If not, I found a great new place/bar on Monroe Street we can hit up. You game? Pencil that in…soon, like this next week!

    Though the ‘Year of the Rat” is exciting, I encourage you to make this the year of becoming that strong active leader! Do it girl. btw–I just added a 3rd person to e27′s board of directors! We’re becoming more official each day.

    Great post. Thanks for being real/honest. That’s always better than any obligated, New Years resolution post you could ever write!

  • http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

    @ James – I am far from perfect. Thanks for being so accepting :)

    @ Joe – Hmm.. good idea.

    @ Ray – but, of course!

    @ Bill – thank you! I appreciate the kind comment.

    @ AK- I could, I should, but I won’t. Someday maybe, when I can make it interesting… :)

    @ Karen – You’re so great. Thanks for the awesome advice, and yes, personal time sounds fabulous. And so does your progress – congrats!

  • http://tiffanymonhollon.com/blog/2008/02/01/one-blogging-command-and-seven-sacred-tips-to-beat-writing-burnout-and-avoid-lazy-blogging/ One Blogging Command and Seven Sacred Tips to Beat Writing Burnout and Avoid Lazy Blogging at Personal PR

    [...] And as blogging advice goes, it sounds simple enough. But in reality, it’s a challenge for even the best bloggers in the world. Let’s be honest: creating really great content takes a lot of time, effort, thought research, and creativity. And doing all of this consistently often ushers in writing burnout, especially if blogging isn’t your full time job, and actually, even if it is. [...]

  • http://modite.com/blog/2009/05/26/trying-isnt-good-enough/ Trying isn’t good enough | Modite

    [...] I am angry that the Universe could present me with such a being when I’m not primed. I’m not [...]

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