by Rebecca Thorman on February 26 ////
21 Comments
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
In no particular order, here’s a list of my favorite blogs by Gen Y women:
1. Dorie Morgan’s Rising Upby Dorie Morgan, @brstngphnx
Dorie weaves small ideas into major themes, and seems to have an outlook that is always a step to the side of my own. Which is exactly why I like reading her.
2. McKinney-Oates Cerealby Marie McKinney-Oates, @mckinneyos
Marie is the new Dooce. Wildly entertaining, transparent and hilarious, she writes about such topics as sex, her cat, the Snuggie, religion, her husband and whatever else crosses her mind. She has a special aptitude for dialogue.
3. Twenty Setby Monica O’Brien, @monicaobrien I rarely feel the competition I do with other bloggers like I do with Monica because she’s one of the few people who can write about careers in a way that’s not completely boring.
4. Small Hands, Big Ideasby Grace Boyle, @gracekboyle
Grace and I have almost identical situations. I love that she’s also working for a start-up company and is super into social media and the environment. She’s what Gen Y is all about.
5. Intersectedby Jamie Varon, @jamievaron
When I first discovered Jamie she had a completely different writing style. Now she writes in the vein of Penelope Trunk – on the edge of topics. But be sure to explore some of her archives too for the really introspective stuff.
6. Smile Like You Mean Itby Caitlin McCabe
Caitlin is a fellow Madisonian and offers sarcastic and irreverent vignettes on life next to hipster finds in art, fashion, design and music videos.
7. Shouting to Quiet the Thunderby Milena Thomas, @MelonCamp
A lot of the times, Milena feels like my blogging sister. I don’t always agree with her, sometimes I don’t even know what she’s talking about (in politics), but I’m always interested to hear her opinion. Exceptionally self-aware, her posts never fail to delight.
8. Quarter-Life Ladyby Akirah Wyatt, @quarterlifelady
Akirah’s blog is full of such fun, sincerity and enthusiasm that it’s hard not to get caught up in it all. Alternating between personal stories and smart career advice, Akirah is someone you instantly like.
This works because work relationships are all about control. Your boss may be threatened that you’re young and intelligent, may not want to give you more responsibility, could be on a power-trip, or might just be an inexperienced manager. There could be any number of reasons why he’s not so nice.
But if you had more control at your job – if you could be in charge of more or your boss could be in charge of less, things would be better off, right? Managing up allows you to retain your sense of poise and productivity, and requires that you:
1.Perform like you’ve never performed before. It doesn’t matter if your boss told you to wash dishes. If that’s your task, you had better be the best darn dish-washer there ever was. It’s really hard for a boss to complain if you’re doing everything right and smiling about it. And you’ll feel better after accomplishing something instead of complaining.
Besides, no one gets to skip paying dues all together. Sometimes the workplace is dirty, unethical and downright salacious, but you should never be a part of that. By complaining and not doing, you’re being complicit in a negative environment instead of showing your real value and true work ethic.
2. Realize what the real point of working is. Even if you feel like you can run miles around what you’re doing or on the flip side, that your task is too difficult, realize that the opportunity in most jobs is not to learn a specific or creative skill, but to learn people skills, which are far more important at the end of the day.
It’s people skills that differentiate you and help you succeed over anything else. That’s why you’reactually lucky to have a bad boss. There will never be a deficiency of difficult people at your job or in your life. This is a prime opportunity to use that to your advantage.
3. Discover what your boss cares about and learn to care too. For example, I once had a boss that would bully me in private and become my best friend in public. Her main concern was image, mostly hers. Once I understood this, I took less of what she said to heart, and focused mainly on tasks that would increase the positive sentiment of our organization publicly. I never failed to compliment her to others, and so I knew when she said, “I’ve been hearing great things about you,” she really meant “I’ve been hearing great things about myself.”
Your boss could equally care about leaving at 5:00 pm to see his kids, or pushing through her pet project on eco-friendly envelopes, or making sure he never has to write notes at a meeting again. Whatever the push-point is, find it and use it to make your boss look good. Real good.
4. Care like you and your boss are real people. Because you both are. Not all of us are suited to be inspirational leaders, and most of us don’t realize how difficult it really is to be a good manager. And many more don’t even realize that the onus is truly on the employee to bring out the best in a manager. Where would Obama be without the ideas and enthusiasm of the American citizens for change?
Your participation, empathy and respect towards your boss will be reflected in how your boss treats you. Try reverence for a change.
by Rebecca Thorman on February 23 ////
25 Comments
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
Several people were worried what employers would think if they job-hopped, especially in the recession. But really, too many people don’t know how to talk about their experience in a way that shows value and meaningful experience.
Do you know how to translate your experience into value? Are you staying at a job that you’ve grown out of because you’re worried what future employers will think? Are you just scared?
by Rebecca Thorman on February 10 ////
64 Comments
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
I just got off the phone with Zeus, and I’m angry. This isn’t a surprise because I’m quick to anger, quick to forgiveness and quick to just about every emotion, really. The emotional roller coaster of being a woman and all.
Zeus and I have been engaged in phone warfare. Which also isn’t all that surprising considering that he works for a start-up and now I work for a start-up and well, life is busy.
Many of you already know this about Zeus being Ryan, but I felt it was time to announce it beyond my About page because of some recent emails I received from my readers.
I feel I have every right to keep my private life private, but I also feel a strong relationship with my blogging community. My blog and the people who support it are the primary reasons I’m successful today, and so it’s important to me to be as transparent as possible.
I didn’t make my relationship with Ryan explicit before because we had just started dating (even now we’re early in the relationship game), and it’s hard enough to begin a relationship, let alone have the extra pressure of so many people watching you. I mean, Ryan and I are both “In a Relationship” on Facebook, but not even explicitly with each other because I’m so superstitious.
(Yeah, you try dating me.)
This is made all the more difficult because like I mentioned, we’re both busy, and I want the career, the relationship, the blog, the time to exercise and hang out with my friends and call my family.
“People that exercise every day and work twelve hours a day have no life,” Ryan reminds me. So, okay. But maybe I could be the exception?
“No, you can’t have it all. Something has to give,” he goes on. Ryan is practical to my impractical. Rational to my emotional. The pea to my pod. He’s a Taurus and I’m a Virgo. He’s an INTJ and I’m an ENFP. By all personality tests and worldly measures we’re a good match.
It’s easy for me to ignore all these elephants cramping my view though, because in my heart, I see this working. And I know that because this is one of the hardest times in our lives, it’s also one of the best. If you’re playing it right, the best time in your life is filled with uncertainty and risk. There’s nothing balanced about that. It’s exciting and exhilarating, and to take full advantage, you need to:
1) Let go.
2) Give in.
3) Smile.
4) Repeat.
I work for a company that will disrupt the traditional retail market and my boyfriend is someone that has disrupted everything I know about relationships. Nothing is stable now. That’s the thing about work/life balance. It’s more of a see-saw, kind of up and down, and is only ever balanced for the briefest moments in time.
Possibility perch.
Yes, this post was Ryan-approved before I hit publish. What are your thoughts on work/life balance? How do you achieve it? Do you want to have it all? Is it possible or are you content with just one or the other?
