Will you regret your online presence? | Kontrary by Rebecca Thorman

http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog/ Ryan Stephens

I think my approach pretty much aligns with yours on this one. I don’t/won’t regret what I’ve posted online because like you said people’s thoughts/perspective will continue to evolve, and it’s fun to look back on how we’ve grown and progressed from the start.

Besides, if a company doesn’t want to hire me for something I’ve put online, that’s fine by me, I don’t want to work there either.

Cheers!

http://www.bretlsimmons.com Bret Simmons

There will always be a large supply of folks that might make us want to regret sharing our honest thoughts, but that just comes with the terriroty. We all have to reach the point where even though we care what those folks think, in the end it does not matter. As you point out, taking responsibility for your own personal development does matter.

http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

@ Ryan – Great to hear. In terms of career, the company doesn’t just choose you, you also choose the company and I like how you made this clear; it has to be a good fit on both sides. Thanks for sharing!

@ Bret – Ah, that becomes the difficult part though : ). Getting criticism from people you don’t know is somewhat easy to deal with, but if it leaks into your “real life,” you have to develop a thick skin quickly. But I think, as we’ve talked about, if you’re blogging with integrity and within your values, you’ll find your way.

http://www.element-efx.com Jason

It is easier to tell the truth than lie and try to cover it up. It is also easier to look back and laugh and something you once had so much passion about than it is to lie and not know why you even wrote it. By posting everything and anything about yourself you become more aware of what you are actually doing and the ramifications that it has on not only yourself but those around you.

http://politicoholic.com Nisha

I think about this a lot. But I don’t think we’ll regret it in the future because in 10 years from now, everyone will have an online footprint tracking the things they said and did years before. Sure, it’ll create a whole new level of transparency that our predecessors didn’t have. But in the future, having that online presence will be the norm, not the anomaly, so I’m not worried. If anything, in the future I think it will be shadier if you *don’t* have an online presence. Because if you don’t, what do we really know about you? There’s LESS transparency that way, and that’s not a good thing.

Sometimes I think about it this way: Obama may not have Facebook photos from college to haunt him. But whoever is President in 2040 probably was in college recently and does have an online presence right now. That’s not going to stop him/her from still having a future, because it’s just going to be the norm.

http://twentyorsomething.com Susan Pogorzelski

Rebecca — nice post and something I was wondering myself a few weeks ago. The answer to this, for me, is no. My blog is more of a personal outlet — that’s how it began, that was the original intent. And while it has evolved and expanded, it’s still a personal outlet where I go to document these thoughts and opinions. That was a decision I made a long time ago and I stand by it for how it’s helped me.

Like Holly, I look back where I was a year ago — almost exactly a year ago — and I cringe. Sure, it would be so easy to regret writing those words, but I don’t. Because that’s exactly where I was back then, in the middle of something deep from which I’ve grown and changed.

And I think that’s the whole point. If you’ve grown and changed from something, for the better, can there really be a sense of regret? In that similar vein, I love Bret’s comment because I think it’s so true — people will always second-guess your decisions, but that’s what happens on a public forum. Still, you made it a public forum for a reason, a conscious decision that works for you. Like you, and he, say, if you maintain integrity and responsibility and keep making good, conscious decisions, then I don’t think you’ll have regret.

Just a couple of cents worth…Thanks for the post!

http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

@ Jason – I like that take – I certainly feel a lot of relief by having a lot of myself out there since I’m not hiding anything as you say. In some ways, it’s easier…

@ Nisha – Have you seen the photos of Obama in college? I love those photos! I mean, he’s smoking in them, but he’s still totally cool. Okay, enough gushing : ). I agree, I think it will become more the norm and your personality will shine through, whatever that might be. Thanks for the comment!

@ Susan – Love your comment, especially since your blog is more of a personal outlet and so the line might be more difficult to walk. But you seem confident that your blog is in line with your values (as you should – your blog is fabulous). I think that’s what’s important. We’re all going to grow and change and it is more fun than detrimental to look back and see the past online.

http://www.mckinneyoatescereal.wordpress.com Marie

I agree with Nisha. The online footprint is going to be so common we really aren’t going to think much about it.

I’m pretty sure that to some degree I’ll regret (or at least cringe at) some of the things I’ve said online. But I write about my cats so that’s kind of expected. The biggest reason that I don’t worry so much about the potential embarrassment is that there is nothing I say online that I wouldn’t/haven’t said offline.

http://genystartup.com/ Tolu

doubt I will ever regret anything I say on my blog or on twitter. Not so much for facebook. Even right now I regret some of the things I put up on my facebook status on some thursday and friday nights especially when I was still in college. As far as my blog goes, All I write on there is about what I am learning as I am trying to build my start-up from the perspective of a new, gen y entrepreneur. I share both my mistakes and my success, so either way someone will benefit and know no to do what I did wrong or do what I did right. It’s all a platform for learning, so why should i regret that?

Nice post Rebecca!

http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

@ Marie – Yeah, I’m totally with you that I don’t say anything online that I wouldn’t say in person. I’m actually much more outspoken in person – at least around people that I know and trust. Thanks for the comment!

@ Tolu – “It’s a platform for learning” – love that quote. I too see a blog as an evolution and you’re putting thoughts out there that fit into past and future ideas. That’s what makes it so interesting. Thanks for the great insight.

http://www.dracotorre.com/blog/ David Shrock

No. I put thought into everything I write, including blog comments, and I’m more polite online than in person. My writing is constantly improving in quality and content. Am I embarrassed about the stories I wrote years ago? Not at all. I was less experienced then. I write with confidence and stand by it.

Thanks, Rebecca, for this interesting topic.

http://thetylerhayes.com/ Tyler Hayes

I agree with Ryan and most others, change is simply going to happen. As so many wise thinkers have said (Aristotle, etc.) “Change is the only constant.”

It intrigues me when people refuse to change. It bothers me when people try to convince themselves & others that we should not display our lives to the world for fear that we will be seen as inconsistent human beings. Why should we be afraid of change, moreso why should we fear the world joining us in our journey of ups & downs, life & death, happiness & sadness?

http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

@ David – I too am less polite in person, ha! I love that you “write with confidence and stand by it” – that’s so important and ultimately is what creates the powerful blogging community that we’re in.

@ Tyler – What a lovely comment. As someone who embraces change, but is also quite a creature of habit that becomes a little cranky when change does happen, I get it. I mean, change is hard. But the ability to empathize with each other is the foundation of compassion. Thanks for the comment!

http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

I would say that those who blog and focus on their ‘online brand’ are pretty cognizant of what they’re putting out into the web. I do have some friends on Facebook for example, who put the most ridiculous, outlandish pictures that they think are ‘private’ because their profile is private. Maybe they might regret those decisions…I’m not sure.

To answer your question directly, I don’t think that I will regret my online presence. I like looking back at old posts and seeing where I was at and how far I have come. That’s gratifying.

On a side note, what I have of me online is 100% me. Yes, there are pictures of me drinking with friends, yes there are pictures of me from college, etc. I think transparency and honesty go hand-in-hand. i’m very much aware of what goes online but it’s not all G rated and there’s no R or X rated. Haha, if that makes sense. Anyway, I probably wouldn’t work with a company that would care that I’m legally having a drink with friends for example.

Fiona Wallace

It’s easy to say that you’ll never regret anything because you are confident about who you are and trust your ability to change. That’s great! Live without regret, and if employers, friends, future in-laws don’t like you for who you were in the past, that’s their loss. If you do something really embarrassing, you can always look back on it and laugh.

I actually do regret a lot of my past online presence. A part of growing up is about recognising the truth in other opinions that we first dismissed, and finding paths through life we never imagined. Being open to that means finding out you were wrong about some things, that life isn’t as simple as you first thought. Being wrong for previous generations probably wasn’t much of a big deal, but for us, when we outgrow our beliefs they will still be scattered behind us like discarded shells from a hermit crab. Those unwanted shells may well be there forever – you can’t always delete or erase things when they become awkward.

http://modite.com/blog Rebecca Thorman

@ Grace – Great distinction between those who are aware of their online brand versus just those are online. But if the outlandish photos from your friends do indeed represent your friends, does it matter? Something to noodle on : )

@ Fiona – I really appreciate you sharing a different perspective. It’s interesting to hear and I have to admit that sometimes it does make me weary to have so much out there. Thanks for the comment!

http://www.growingforward.net Scott

If you don’t think this is “public” before you post, it could be a MESS. If not, it can be great self-promotion!

http://www.getthere-fromhere.com Jennifer Gleeson Blue

Hey Rebecca –

Glad you shared these thoughts and absolutely think it’s both a line that we walk and a way for us to actually be MORE authentic.

I wrote about this recently on my blog (http://tinyurl.com/nzej2y) based on resistance I was hearing from family/friends as well as clients.

I think transparency is good. And an online presence has enabled me to be more transparent across the board and develop a richer sense of integrity no matter who I’m with.

Of course, I didn’t begin building an online presence until I was in my late 20s. I think skipping those more formative years in my late teens/early 20s was probably pretty helpful in ensuring no regrets. :)

Jaems

Rebecca,

I’m in a constant state of shift because of this. I’ve started 1001 blogs and have deleted them within days-weeks because I was worried about content and how things would be perceived. The few hundred visitors that I did have seemed to love my content, persona, and I keep them entertained.

Maybe that should speak for itself?

Where I work is very much in the public eye so I’m always concerned about the public backlash factor. Beyond wearing a mask online any ideas on how to balance that work/online factor?

Thanks!

http://thesnell.com/blog Nathan Snell

Totally unrelated to your video (which was great) – your living room is way more awesome looking than mine… this is why I can’t do video posts. No sweet back drop.

http://www.originalfaith.com/ Paul Maurice Martin

I expect I’m like most people who’ve spent quite a bit of time online in recent years. Though I’ve never posted anything outrageous, early on I was a bit less censored.

What it seems to come down to is that it’s unwise to type things you’d say only to close friends or family – say to be funny. You need to use standards closer to what you’d use at work.

http://shegeeks.net Corvida

Nope, not at all. It’s me being me to the fullest. I have made my share of mistakes, but this is me. I’m not perfect offline so why would I be online? I try though. With every fiber I try my best in both worlds. So yeah…I’m happy.

I’m glad to see you’re evolving too!

http://www.kundaliniyogablog.com Hershel Miller

I’ve found emotion can be a challege when communicating online, even in email.

Many times people will get all fired up in the emotion of the moment and post, tweet, facebook things they would rather not have said in retrospect.

Then again, I also find tastful humor is a good approach to online chatter.

hmmm, can’t think of a joke off hand though

http://analyticasystemsinc.com/blog/ John R. Sedivy

Hi Rebecca – Similar to you I find blogging and social media as an interesting way to track my growth. I have only been blogging for a little over a year now but am already fascinated at the progression over time – it’s definitely fun to look back on my work. I’m sure at some point I’ll look back and find some embarrassing moments, but that risk exists with almost anything in life.