Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
I really want this dress, but am trying to stay on budget. On to the wishlist it goes.
Via Spool No. 72., $62.
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
Grace Boyle of Small Hands, Big Ideas (above) rocked yoga last month. I selfishly wanted to feature her for inspiration because I hate the gym. And it hates me. Okay, really I love it, but who has time to exercise? No, seriously. I’m constantly exhausted, often to the point where I worry myself into thinking something is seriously wrong, when in reality? I need movement.The kind that doesn’t require my wrist being glued to my mouse.
Here’s what I did cross off for September:
September Goals
1. Start to exercise once a week.
2. Get 30% more blog and PR coverage for Alice than I did in August.
3. Update and automate budget to appropriately allocate money toward credit card debt and savings accounts.
4. Start writing weekly on Modite again.
My favorite accomplishment was creating a spending plan, a savings plan and a debt-reduction plan. Oh, spreadsheets, how I adore thee. It was also nice to start writing weekly on Modite again, a habit that’s a bit like settling into the arms of your boyfriend. With Alice, even though I met my goal, I didn’t feel like I stepped things up the way I intended so I’m taking a more holistic approach for October. Here’s what I’m looking forward to:
October Goals
1. Run! Yoga! Elliptical! Twice a week = happy life.
2. Stick to completely realistic budget.
3. Develop and implement 3-month Alice PR plan.
4. Write twice weekly on Modite.
5. Throw an appetizer and wine party.
I’m stepping everything up a notch for October and adding the dinner party for some fun. Plus, I love my condo, and I think it’s perfect for entertaining. The list is ambitious, but I’m hoping each item will help spur the others along.
Your turn! What did you cross off for September? What’s got you excited for October?
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To participate in the meet-up:
1. Post a list of your career/life related goals for Oct, along with your checked off Sept goals if you’d like, on your own blog.
2. Come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments (*If you don’t have your own blog, feel free to share your list here in the comments to join in!)
3. Then, check out everyone else’s lists as they leave comments - click their links, visit their blogs, say hello, meet, greet and support each other because that’s what it’s all about!
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Whoo! Good luck this month. I have a special mid-month reminder to look forward to, and the next meet-up will be Friday, October 30th so that we can set goals for November. I’m marking my calendar for it now, and look forward to seeing your October goals in the meantime!
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
There are two ways to approach life. Read about it. Or live it.
I read a lot. I like to synthesize information together, saturate my brain synapses, make connections, and curate the exact pieces that will fit my life. Knowledge is my thing.
But it doesn’t matter how much I read, or attend lectures, or watch TED talks, or troll Twitter for the next most interesting blog post. Most of that learning stuff is useless; there’s no better way to learn than to just do.
Become an expert {Phase 1}
Action is the first step. That’s why I encourage job-hopping. Most people don’t know what they like or what they’re good at. Like you could really want to be a CEO, yearn for it with all the matter in your body and brain, and then regrettably discover that you suck as a CEO.
Or maybe you’re really fabulous. A veritable genius! The point is, without working it out for yourself, you’re stuck on the path that others have already laid out. And yeah, that’s a safe plan, I don’t blame you. Our education system is certainly not set up to handle exploration or deviation from a set course. And entering the real world closes the door all together.
In school and at the workplace we’re told exactly how to do tasks, without learning the full explanation behind it. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell tells the story of a young woman who is trying to solve a mathematical problem. She’s not told the way others have solved the problem, but instead is problem-solving on her own.
Gladwell recounts that when she figures it out, her face lights up: “Ohhh. Okay. Now I see. The slope of a vertical line is undefined. That means something now. I won’t forget that!”
The young woman is working with a professor who encourages his students to unlearn the mathematical habits they picked up on the way to university. Because it’s not about memorizing the right way to do something, but your ability to try that determines your success.
“Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds,” Gladwell reports.
In order to drive innovation, we need time and space to explore, not regurgitate. To become the master of a topic, you need to understand its underbelly, where it came from, where it’s going, not just the flashy exterior.
Become an expert {Phase 2 – quickly}
Most people are stuck in the land of daydreams and don’t actually reach action, so if you’ve mastered that, pat yourself on the back. I just gave myself a little pat. Go on, you too. Now we’re moving into advanced world domination.
Exploring a topic from top to bottom is all good and well, but what if you don’t have 10,000 hours to devote? What if there was a short-cut? A way that actually helped you make more fiery synapses connections?
I realize I’m starting to sound like an infomercial here, so stay with me.
First, let me preface by saying there’s no substitute for action. And what I’m about to propose isn’t something you should do in lieu of cooking every night if you want to be a chef, but it is the way to super-size what you learn from cooking every night. In an Einstein sort of way, not Mickey D’s.
So tell me, how well can you explain what you do? How well do you understand your passion? Could you teach someone else to do it?
When you do something like send a pitch, for example, you’re learning. You’re testing your ideas and theories through the reaction you receive, the resulting outcome. In this paradigm, it’s okay to fail, you discover through trial and error, and through persistence and hard work, you win.
But there’s an entire level of awesomeness missing. And you can only ascend to the next level by then teaching someone what you have learned. Because then you’re testing your values, ideas and theories with another person’s values, ideas and theories. You understand the underlying challenge more by defining it for another. Teaching – good teaching – requires you to exchange knowledge, not simply impart it. Learning is individual. Teaching is collaborative.
“Nobel laureate physicists such as Enrico Fermi and Leon Lederman took pride in teaching bright undergraduates,” reports Michael Schrage in Harvard Business, “because it forced them to keep in touch with the fundamentals of their field and express themselves simply and clearly.”
I had no idea how to write a stellar cover letter and resume until I started teaching others to do theirs. Groups comprised of individuals in different skill sets – say, marketing, design and finance – thrive when they teach each other. Life-coaches may be so prevalent right now because the coaches help themselves as much as they help clients.
Teaching is sharing knowledge, sharing empathy, sharing ideas. It’s pushing you to understand with entirely different lenses. Just like your body needs both cardio and strength training, your mind needs both learning and teaching.
Teaching is the definitive learning experience. And it’s the quickest way to expertise.
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
Ryan and I went to Illinois for a couple days this weekend to visit my Mom and Uncle. We also went to Allerton, a park I used to go to when I was little and my mom went to when she was little before me.
All around the estate are statues: some amusing, some intimidating, some majestic. And it occurs to me as I look through the pictures of our trip that Allerton is probably where I first started to appreciate art.
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
The photo above is of the two greatest games ever: Skip-Bo and Rummy. Unfortunately, the photo is missing Yahtzee. Each of which I always win at.
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
It’s goal meet-up check-in time! This is your mid-month reminder to take a breath and see how you’re coming along. How are you all doing?
I’m not doing too badly, but the coming of Fall seems to be an unofficial New Year where all your dreams and thoughts and ideas bubble to the surface. So I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with not just my goals, but everything I want to do. Do you feel that way? Like, I’m walking against the wind, and try my darndest, I’m just not getting anywhere.
“That’s called the dip,” Ryan reminds me. “You’re trying to get to the other side. It’ll happen. Have you read The Dip?”
“No,” I pout. “Seth is overrated.”
“You should read The Dip. You’ll like it.”
“Hmph.”
“So, remember when we walked around New York City and you gazed wide-eyed at the sights like a newborn baby?”
“What?!”
The infuriating thing about Ryan is that when I’m trying to be in a bad mood he’ll make a funny face or say something so ridiculous or sweet or something that I am forced to stomp off.
“Stop trying to make me smile!” I say in between halting giggles. “I hate when you try to make me happy when I want to be angry!”
And it is in that maddening moment that Ryan laughs at my insistence to be cross. Which is quite unnecessary because clearly he has already won along with life. Despite my best efforts to control it, life wants me to be happy. Even during this stupid dip.
So, in the spirit of happiness, I’m sharing the photo below of the two greatest games ever: Skip-Bo and Rummy. Unfortunately, the photo is missing Yahtzee. Each of which I always win at.
Also, thank you to everyone who is participating or following along in the meet-up. Keep walking into the wind, my friends!
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
People are afraid of asking for a raise now more than ever. In fact, the recession is providing a good excuse for employees to not ask for more money, and for companies not to give any. But high performers can and should be compensated.
To get a raise, you first need to be aware of the three contingencies raises are based on:
Past Performance (and the learning curve)
All jobs have learning curves. What took you eight hours a day at the start of your position will slowly taper off until you start to get bored six months in. Good employees realize this and try to shorten the learning curve as quickly as possible by completing stellar and quality work right away. How quickly you’re able to shorten the curve often determines how quickly your first review and raise will be.
Future Opportunity (and taking on more responsibility)
Once you master your initial set of responsibilities, it’s time to start looking for more. You should first look for the low-hanging fruit; tasks that have been overlooked in which you can easily shine in. This might be tracking and measurement, or the suggestion of a weekly meeting. Whatever it is, you should make sure your superiors know you are looking to do and be more.
Second, you should also be strategically thinking about your next step and title in the company. If you want to expand your design role to include rendering in addition to drafting, you should try to take on as many rendering projects as you can before your review. New titles (and the accompanying compensation) aren’t awarded to people who haven’t already been doing the work. In other words, don’t wait for the title to impress.
Many companies won’t have such opportunities for advancement, however – either they aren’t willing or aren’t able – and that’s when you should start looking for a new job.
Market Value (and how adaptable are you)
There are a ton of social media jobs out there right now. There are also a lot of people who can’t execute on social media. Which leaves the people who can in a great negotiating position.
For those positions that don’t carry such great demand – say, journalists – you’ll need to figure out how to keep yourself and your position relevant. This doesn’t mean saving the entire journalistic profession, but being creative in the responsibilities you take on. It’s good to think of yourself in both positions at once, however, since the market varies and changes from year to year.
Once you understand the three contingencies, it’s time to put together an action plan:
1. Be proactive. Bad companies will put off your review on purpose. Good companies will too. There’s no reason for employers to pay you more if you’re not asking for it. Be proactive in checking in with your boss throughout each month, and scheduling reviews often. It’s often helpful to schedule your next review at your current one (“I’d like to meet again in three months to talk about the possibility of a new title and an additional raise.”) When you set up a meeting with the expectation that you’ll be discussing a raise, the conversation becomes easier.
2. Research and prepare. Even if you don’t show your boss, prepare a document of your past accomplishments and proposed future responsibilities. This gives you a list of relevant talking points during your meeting. In that document, include a salary number and back it up with research on what other people in similar positions are making. I recommend listing the number a bit larger than you expect so that you have some negotiating room and can meet your employer in the middle.
3. Practice. Just because you have everything written down doesn’t mean you won’t stumble in the meeting. Practice phrasing some of your key accomplishments and especially practice stating how much salary you’d like. Just say it aloud a few times to make it less scary.
4. Negotiate. Negotiating for a raise is incredibly hard, made even more so by the fact that your boss has probably just finished a glowing review, and it seems like an especially inopportune time to ask for more. (Or is that just me?) But not only is it the right time, it’s the only time. Go for it! Some employers will tell you right away whether the amount you’re asking for is something they can do, others will want to check and get back to you. Be prepared for either possibility.
5. Negotiate again. It’s very rare for a company not to be able to give a high performer a raise, even in the recession. When more money really is impossible – say, when you work at a University and they’ve declared that not only will there be no raises, but there will be pay cuts – you should still ask for more. You don’t have to ask for more money, but make sure you’re asking for more of something.
For instance, a smart woman I know negotiated additional paid time-off in lieu of more zeros on her paycheck. Just be careful that you’re not setting a precedent that the ability to work from home, gain additional stock options, or attend a conference is how you want to be compensated in the future. Unless, of course, it is.
What do you think? Is it difficult to get a raise in recession? If you’ve been successful, what were your strategies?
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
This rug is gorgeous and I totally want it to replace my white rug in my living room, but they don’t have a 5′ x 8′, only 5′ x 7′. Bummer.
Via Anthropologie, $398.
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
By all accounts, the current state of work is good. Flexible schedules are beginning a workplace transformation. Hierarchal structures are being dismantled, replaced with decentralized team-oriented organizations. Rewards are no longer exclusively linked to extrinsic motivations like salary or titles, but to projects that make us feel good and do good for the planet.
Fresh-faced workers are responding in kind with idealism, strong ethics, and bright-eyed expectations to change the world. With energy and impatience to do something that matters. Even in the recession, we shine to thrive.
And it is from such high hopes that we discover such low realities. Where real life makes every effort to shut us down. Cramp the rainbows. Take out the sun. Step on our rose-colored lenses.
One twenty-something likens entering the real world to “a confidence-killing daily assault of petty degradations. All of this is compounded by the fear that it is all for nothing; that you are a useful fool.”
The bully to blame is work politics and its shameful hum in the background of most companies is a deafening precursor to what we know, but ignore: companies that are built on lies, deceit and manipulation fail.
A recent UK study revealed there is a clear gap between dreams and reality. One in three graduates believes their employer has not met expectations, that management stifles innovation, and that their opinions are undervalued.
Workers are spending more time learning a game with unspoken rules and invisible puppeteers than engaging in any real contribution to society. A fashion designer started a once-anonymous blog to expose such humiliations in his own industry, writing his first posts on “designers whose careers he thought had been unduly advanced by the support of fashion’s power brokers, rather than evidence of hard work.”
But most of us are silent on the issue. Many of us just settle, choosing to bow out of the game, and some bow out of the system all together. Others join the dark side, if you will. And still others – a small, but inspirational minority – bring such goodness and dedication to their jobs that you can almost see halos forming above their brow line.
There is a natural learning curve to growing up, of course. And while it’s okay to learn that change is hard, that everything doesn’t work out because you wish it so, that you have to pay dues, and that life is generally not fair, it’s not okay to live a life without integrity.
It’s not okay to engage in power plays. It’s not okay to cheat and form alliances and be exclusionary. It’s not okay to be unethical or gossip or commandeer confidence and ideas and dreams as a buck-toothed swindler. Pirates, we are not.
When did manipulation become the status quo? When did deceit become “just business”? And when, exactly, did we start ignoring such desperation? When did it become a humming that we worked alongside instead of a shrill invasion?
Instead of gorging on control and power and greed like goblins, companies should take note of Netflix and their “Freedom & Responsibility Culture.” A company that doesn’t theft and abuse the self-worth of their employees, but encourages it with great candor.
“The [Netflix] executives trust staffers to make their own decisions on everything – from whether to bring their dog to the office to how much of their salary they want in cash and how much in stock options,” reports BNET.
In their internal presentation on their work policies, Netflix asks what it would be like if every person you worked with was someone you respected and learned from, defining a great workplace as one filled with “stunning colleagues.” Where responsible employees thrive on freedom, are worthy of a culture of innovation and self-discipline, and even brilliant jerks can’t be tolerated.
Netflix argues that “the best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than trying to control people.” They urge their managers to ask themselves when they are tempted to control their people, “Are you articulate and inspiring enough about goals and strategies?”
The result is that the company isn’t bogged down in the policies, rigidity, politics, policies, mediocrity or complacency that infects most organizations. Instead, they are adept, fast and flexible. And they’re honest and human. Incredibly human.
Netflix is just one example. My job at a non-profit that served the poorest of the poor, but kept laughter flowing through the office is another. My current position is still another.
And those examples are the future of work, the next step after company-supplied daycare and work-life balance programs.
A future without work politics. A future with goodness. And probably some rainbows too.
What do you think are some of the problems facing work today? Have work politics been an issue? What are some trends you see for the future?
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
I’m borrowing an idea from Jena over at Modish, who hosts a Monthly Goal Meet-Up for creatives. I’d like to do the same for those interested in the career and life conversations here at Modite.
So, each month we’ll check in with our goals from the previous month and our plans for the new month. I’ll feature a photo and accomplishment from previous participants to accompany each meet-up. This is the first month – yay!
My friend Caitlin McCabe of Smile Like you Mean It (above) keeps me sane and started a successful consulting business last month. Pretty awesome. Here’s what I crossed off for August:
August Career /Life Goals
1. Ask for more responsibility at work, a raise and a new title. (Yes! This was a big one for me, and I’m thrilled about my new role).
August was a big month not just because I started transitioning into a new position at work, but because before the month ended, I turned a year older. I took stock of life, reflecting on the five areas I wanted to focus on this year: Alice, Modite, Health, Relationships, and Financial. I discovered I felt like I had Alice and Relationships down, but the rest could use some work… which leads me to my goals for September.
September Career/Life Goals
1. Start to exercise once a week.
2. Get 30% more blog and PR coverage for Alice than I did in August.
3. Update and automate budget to appropriately allocate money toward credit card debt and savings accounts.
4. Start writing weekly on Modite again.
What about you? What are your September goals? Are you kicking it into high gear for Fall?
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To participate in the meet-up:
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I’m so excited about this project and really hope you join in. I’ll post a mid-month reminder to keep you accountable. The next meet-up will be Wednesday, September 30th so that we can check in and set goals for October.
Looking forward to seeing your Sept goals!
Note: This post was originally published on my first blog, Modite, and is now archived here.
Note: This was originally a guest post for Sam’s Appreciation Revolution. You should check it out.
I’m an extremely lucky person. Really. Sometimes I can’t even believe how lucky I am. I have the best mother, best job, best boyfriend, best condo, best everything.
And yet still, I want. I still have that hunger for more. Selfishly, I am often found in dark corners brooding over the infallibility of life, the unfairness, the annoyances, and over that stupid guy who cut me off this morning in the white Dodge Ram with a ladder strapped to the top and a license plate forever seared in my memory. I did not feel lucky that I didn’t skid off the road to my untimely death. I just wanted to hurt him.
In retrospect, I do feel grateful, immensely grateful, that when I sped up, tailed, and yelled obscenities at the man in the Dodge Ram, that we were going sixty-five miles per hour and there’s no way he could have heard me. I’m grateful that at the last moment I decided not to show him the slender nature of my middle finger. I’m grateful that my exit to work arrived before I really gave him a piece of my mind. I imagine – as he well should be – he was grateful as well.
This is the ugly side of appreciation, the not so fluffy and pillowy kind. There are chapters of my life when I am overcome with the sweet and sugary kind, when I am surrounded by rainbows and treats and sparkly revelations. But mostly, I have little patience for swaths of gratitude to envelop me.
Gratitude is hard for me sometimes.
I imagine it’s hard for most people, even the big teddy bears of appreciation. It means accepting a whole litany of injustices and bending your eyesight towards what is beating both in and outside of you simultaneously to which, I’m sure, only the heartfelt natures of Gandhi or Mother Theresa have fully mastered. It means not being afraid of the past, the future and the ever-so vast present, because really, gratitude is about living in the now.
So, you could write about the things you are happy for daily – which I do. Or, you could take a moment every Monday morning to reflect upon the previous week, which I do. Or, you could look up at the ceiling occasionally, through the drywall, up through the six floors above you and up to the roof, all the way through the clouds and at the sky and say, “thank you.” I do that too.
Or you could just drive to work like you do every day, embracing the good, the bad, and the dick in the Dodge Ram. Sometimes, that’s gratitude too.
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