Comments on: Career women should try harder – especially in the Midwest http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/ Kontrary provides a different take on tech, media and life by Rebecca Thorman. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:58:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: LR http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5225 LR Tue, 10 May 2011 15:49:16 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5225 Even in the South, women marry early too, even though the average age in the USA and Canada in which women marry is usually at 23. In Georgia or Alabama, for example the average age women marry between 17 and 22. I mean, in the South, especially in Atlanta, there are more men working outside of the home than women and they earn more as well. I see a lot more men than women, everywhere I go, even when I was in school because there's more men than women in Atlanta, especially single men who are extremely desperate and often track you down or grab you wherever you go. It's still a man's world and it won't change. But anyway, most women are usually in the home, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children and they normally work traditional female jobs like daycare provider, elementary school teacher, nurse, etc. There are hardly any female bosses and owners of large companies in the South. Most of the bosses and owners of large companies are men and men, on average attend college and earn degrees more than women. In most colleges, there are more men than there are women and less women than men. Women, on average don't go to college and they don't earn degrees, either. It's very traditional. Even in the South, women marry early too, even though the average age in the USA and Canada in which women marry is usually at 23. In Georgia or Alabama, for example the average age women marry between 17 and 22. I mean, in the South, especially in Atlanta, there are more men working outside of the home than women and they earn more as well. I see a lot more men than women, everywhere I go, even when I was in school because there’s more men than women in Atlanta, especially single men who are extremely desperate and often track you down or grab you wherever you go. It’s still a man’s world and it won’t change.

But anyway, most women are usually in the home, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children and they normally work traditional female jobs like daycare provider, elementary school teacher, nurse, etc. There are hardly any female bosses and owners of large companies in the South. Most of the bosses and owners of large companies are men and men, on average attend college and earn degrees more than women. In most colleges, there are more men than there are women and less women than men. Women, on average don’t go to college and they don’t earn degrees, either. It’s very traditional.

]]> By: Kathy http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5224 Kathy Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:17:43 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5224 What you are seeing in Madison is not representative. It was not this way in the Ann Arbor/Detroit area and I doubt it would be in Chicago or Minneapolis. In fact I have friends with children and careers and none sacrificed their careers for family. Some did reprioritize after children but none left the work force; most stayed on the same path and have been successful. I've worked at a number of companies and my current Madison employer is the least professional and most behind the times, most small-town thinking of all the places I've worked. I've talked to people who've worked at other big employers in town and they aren't much different. It's a shame that such a progressive town has such backwards companies. What you are seeing in Madison is not representative. It was not this way in the Ann Arbor/Detroit area and I doubt it would be in Chicago or Minneapolis. In fact I have friends with children and careers and none sacrificed their careers for family. Some did reprioritize after children but none left the work force; most stayed on the same path and have been successful.

I’ve worked at a number of companies and my current Madison employer is the least professional and most behind the times, most small-town thinking of all the places I’ve worked. I’ve talked to people who’ve worked at other big employers in town and they aren’t much different. It’s a shame that such a progressive town has such backwards companies.

]]> By: OrganizeFISH » Blog Archive » November Goals http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5223 OrganizeFISH » Blog Archive » November Goals Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:34:52 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5223 [...] I interviewed at BlogHer09, to a post by Rebecca Thorman on her blog Modite. The post was aimed at career women in the Midwest, and the call to tell stories of women in the workplace resonated with me. I’ll visit that [...] [...] I interviewed at BlogHer09, to a post by Rebecca Thorman on her blog Modite. The post was aimed at career women in the Midwest, and the call to tell stories of women in the workplace resonated with me. I’ll visit that [...]

]]> By: The Dingbat (Adrienne) http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5222 The Dingbat (Adrienne) Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:21:00 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5222 Hi Rebecca, I've been following you for awhile now and have finally decided to make myself known. I am 27. I was married at 18 because I felt like it, have 3 kids (no shot-gun wedding here), and run a successful business. Sure I'm no fortune 500 lady, but I view myself as highly successful, not afraid of motherhood or of men and the workforce. I think GenXpert and Christine hit it right on the money. We are not as apt to open up and tell our stories. I for one occasionally delve into personal matters on my blog but for me that is a place mostly for business. You have some valid arguments, but that doesn't mean that there aren't women out there that fulfill both responsibilities its just that for me at least, I don't have as much time to tell everyone about it. I am stacked full, but I like it that way. I know we need role models, but at the same time, I always felt that if there wasn't one, then I'd just be one for the next generation. I knew when I met my husband that even though I was 18, I was still going to have a family, have an education and have a career. I think the great thing you have in Ryan is that he supports you in what you do, and ultimately that's the kind of mate you want in life, one that helps you achieve those dreams whether it be career, family or both. While all the other men out there are amazed at how far I've come as a woman, my husband is there cheering me on. He's a hard worker too but values who I am as a person enough to let me learn and grow in my own passions. Because I was never held down to motherhood, it was a decision I came to on my own, and is something I enjoy immensely. A lot of women can't say that without having the feelings of missing out. Sure having married early, I missed out on travel, dating and more, but no matter who you are as a woman, there will always be things that are sacrificed no matter what path you choose. You may think the pressure is on to have babies, but believe me, it goes both ways! I can't tell you how many times I've been reprimanded because I have "wild" children in a public place by a "career woman". I doubt you are one of those as I see a lot of character in your words, but there is pressure on me too as to "why did I ever choose to reproduce." Your words are always so edifying and although we are in very different phases in life yet so close in age, I'd like to think that if we were at a table at a wedding together, you might look over to "that couple" and say "they are different too." And to Sharalyn - I didn't grow up here, but I live in the most rural town in Idaho possible. I LOVE it to pieces, and still find it amazing every morning when I wake up. Just because it's rural doesn't mean it isn't capable of being sophisticated. I think if there were more women that expanded their knowledge and stopped assassinating each others' characters there wouldn't be pressure to do one thing or another but instead a great community of women that we could all learn a lesson or two from. Hi Rebecca,

I’ve been following you for awhile now and have finally decided to make myself known. I am 27. I was married at 18 because I felt like it, have 3 kids (no shot-gun wedding here), and run a successful business. Sure I’m no fortune 500 lady, but I view myself as highly successful, not afraid of motherhood or of men and the workforce. I think GenXpert and Christine hit it right on the money. We are not as apt to open up and tell our stories. I for one occasionally delve into personal matters on my blog but for me that is a place mostly for business. You have some valid arguments, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t women out there that fulfill both responsibilities its just that for me at least, I don’t have as much time to tell everyone about it. I am stacked full, but I like it that way.

I know we need role models, but at the same time, I always felt that if there wasn’t one, then I’d just be one for the next generation. I knew when I met my husband that even though I was 18, I was still going to have a family, have an education and have a career.

I think the great thing you have in Ryan is that he supports you in what you do, and ultimately that’s the kind of mate you want in life, one that helps you achieve those dreams whether it be career, family or both. While all the other men out there are amazed at how far I’ve come as a woman, my husband is there cheering me on. He’s a hard worker too but values who I am as a person enough to let me learn and grow in my own passions. Because I was never held down to motherhood, it was a decision I came to on my own, and is something I enjoy immensely. A lot of women can’t say that without having the feelings of missing out. Sure having married early, I missed out on travel, dating and more, but no matter who you are as a woman, there will always be things that are sacrificed no matter what path you choose.

You may think the pressure is on to have babies, but believe me, it goes both ways! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been reprimanded because I have “wild” children in a public place by a “career woman”. I doubt you are one of those as I see a lot of character in your words, but there is pressure on me too as to “why did I ever choose to reproduce.”

Your words are always so edifying and although we are in very different phases in life yet so close in age, I’d like to think that if we were at a table at a wedding together, you might look over to “that couple” and say “they are different too.”

And to Sharalyn – I didn’t grow up here, but I live in the most rural town in Idaho possible. I LOVE it to pieces, and still find it amazing every morning when I wake up. Just because it’s rural doesn’t mean it isn’t capable of being sophisticated.

I think if there were more women that expanded their knowledge and stopped assassinating each others’ characters there wouldn’t be pressure to do one thing or another but instead a great community of women that we could all learn a lesson or two from.

]]> By: Nesting in an anxious mind | Modite http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5221 Nesting in an anxious mind | Modite Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:57:28 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5221 [...] me, the what-ifs appear with even the simplest of situations. Ryan will inquire, for instance, if I would like to attend a concert last-minute, and my chest will [...] [...] me, the what-ifs appear with even the simplest of situations. Ryan will inquire, for instance, if I would like to attend a concert last-minute, and my chest will [...]

]]> By: Midwest women marry early | Modite http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5220 Midwest women marry early | Modite Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:52:19 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5220 [...] some more research related to my post on feeling pressure to marry early, Pew Demographics reveals some fascinating statistics in their infographic on marriage and divorce. [...] [...] some more research related to my post on feeling pressure to marry early, Pew Demographics reveals some fascinating statistics in their infographic on marriage and divorce. [...]

]]> By: Sharalyn Hartwell http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5219 Sharalyn Hartwell Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:39:43 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5219 This was a FANTASTIC post! You could have been speaking about my life. I grew up in rural Idaho. I literally don't know a single person, man or woman, who has a life like mine. I now live in Denver, a much more cosmopolitan setting, but I think I've only met one woman I really would want to emulate in a professional setting. Such great insight. Take your time and do what feels right for you, that's all you can do. Great job! This was a FANTASTIC post! You could have been speaking about my life. I grew up in rural Idaho. I literally don’t know a single person, man or woman, who has a life like mine. I now live in Denver, a much more cosmopolitan setting, but I think I’ve only met one woman I really would want to emulate in a professional setting. Such great insight.

Take your time and do what feels right for you, that’s all you can do. Great job!

]]> By: Christine smith http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5218 Christine smith Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:57:53 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5218 I am so sorry Rebbecca that you and others have been let down but us. You are right, we don't tell our stories because no one has asked us. I live in MN. I have a successful career, a wonderful marriage and 2 college age sons who are well on their way to becoming incredible men. Wow, that was hard to say. You see, woman who are in their 40's and 50's haven't grown up with the social media that you have and are just starting to get our voices. I guess I never thought what I have done is that remarkable. I just did it. And I made choices. Sometimes i took the job that paid less because I could spend more time with my kids. Sometimes I took the job that required a lot of travel to further my career, but sacrificed time with my family. You can do it all, just not all at the same time. But only if you have a supportive partner. My husband has been my biggest supporter. He has taken on more responsibility with the family to allow me the opportunity to focus totally on may career. We make decisions together on both of our careers - he too is very successful. In the Midwest, the culture is not to toot your own horn. Only you and Ryan know what is best for you. It is natural to feel pressured to move to the next step. Each generation has their own pressure and it some ways, things don't change. We each have to define four ourselves what success is. I take the greatest satisfaction in my marriage and kids, and yet others see me only as a successful business woman. Woman in their 20's have more choices now, but that is a burden as well as a gift. You are able to define who you are, don't let anyone else do that for you. I am so sorry Rebbecca that you and others have been let down but us. You are right, we don’t tell our stories because no one has asked us. I live in MN. I have a successful career, a wonderful marriage and 2 college age sons who are well on their way to becoming incredible men. Wow, that was hard to say. You see, woman who are in their 40′s and 50′s haven’t grown up with the social media that you have and are just starting to get our voices. I guess I never thought what I have done is that remarkable. I just did it. And I made choices. Sometimes i took the job that paid less because I could spend more time with my kids. Sometimes I took the job that required a lot of travel to further my career, but sacrificed time with my family. You can do it all, just not all at the same time. But only if you have a supportive partner. My husband has been my biggest supporter. He has taken on more responsibility with the family to allow me the opportunity to focus totally on may career. We make decisions together on both of our careers – he too is very successful. In the Midwest, the culture is not to toot your own horn.

Only you and Ryan know what is best for you. It is natural to feel pressured to move to the next step. Each generation has their own pressure and it some ways, things don’t change. We each have to define four ourselves what success is. I take the greatest satisfaction in my marriage and kids, and yet others see me only as a successful business woman.

Woman in their 20′s have more choices now, but that is a burden as well as a gift. You are able to define who you are, don’t let anyone else do that for you.

]]> By: Ellen http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5217 Ellen Sat, 10 Oct 2009 05:29:07 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5217 Madison isn't completely devoid of female business leadership...they just have (unfortunately) made the decision to close themselves off from the next generation of career-oriented women. TEMPO (TempoMadison.org) is a group of 250 or so Madison female leaders/executives. I personally find it really frustrating that they've limited their circle to women who have already made significant inroads with their careers...so much for lending a helping hand. Madison isn’t completely devoid of female business leadership…they just have (unfortunately) made the decision to close themselves off from the next generation of career-oriented women.

TEMPO (TempoMadison.org) is a group of 250 or so Madison female leaders/executives. I personally find it really frustrating that they’ve limited their circle to women who have already made significant inroads with their careers…so much for lending a helping hand.

]]> By: Agree & Disagree Links for 10-09-09 | Modite http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5216 Agree & Disagree Links for 10-09-09 | Modite Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:36:31 +0000 http://kontrary.com/2009/10/06/career-women-should-try-harder-%e2%80%93-especially-in-the-midwest/#comment-5216 [...] good follow-ups to my women in the workplace post last week [...] [...] good follow-ups to my women in the workplace post last week [...]

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