Monthly Archives: February 2010

How to Deal With Big Jerks

In accordance with the laws of motion, anger and vengeance, I have desired for suitcases to fly satisfyingly through windows, for nasty notes to appear in an inbox or two, or three, and for glasses to break into a great many sharp pieces in response to those big mean jerks who insist on climbing up my backside and making a home.

In some cases, I have succeeded. In many more, I have deftly restrained myself.

It’s an extraordinary kind of derangement to rip into another, and to do so continually and rancorously. The derisive nature of such a person and their seeming hero quests for revenge are certainly not encouraged, although I admit to feeling such pangs myself.

To get that son-of-a-jerk who was not-so-politely requesting the appearance of my middle finger that one time. For instance.

The motivation of a big mean jerk is jealousy gone for the jugular. A normal reaction amplified in an abnormal way. Successful people get the brunt of it of course. Nobody kicks when you’re down, so you don’t see much of that. More, you see unhappy people just trying to be happy, and not having a good run at it.

I’ve been there – short glimpses of what it would be like to be a total creep – so I reply with deference to big mean jerks if at all possible.

Mostly though, I let it go.

A big mean jerk, their demons and their decisions should not be of great concern to you, and are better left to psychology. You can’t possibly know what they’ve been through. Maybe they’re just having a bad day. Or maybe, a bad life.

As such, not engaging a big mean jerk is quite a suitable course of action, one that those individuals will be grateful for at a later date. Because who wants to be like that? No one does.

If a big mean jerk continues to bully, insult or assassinate your person, or if you believe a preemptive attack is necessary, then you can utilize two powerful phrases for such endeavors: “I’m sorry,” and “I understand.” Possibly both, if it’s particularly cankerous.

We need a place to debate ideas, to say no, to be ourselves, to live, to judge a little less along the way. A simple, “I understand where you’re coming from and respect your viewpoint,” goes a long way.

Then, keep going. Keep going on. You can only dwell so long.

Bellissima

belissima

Another every-day beauty from elephantine, $36.

A 178 Sq Ft foot in the door

living

bureau desk

Did you see this today in the New York Times? A young designer, Zach Motl, came to New York – before he knew he wanted to be a designer – and decorated his 178 square feet apartment.

He discovered a job at Robert Couturier & Associates, the upscale architecture and design firm as a junior designer. The ad stated applicants needed three years’ experience and knowledge of AutoCAD, the computer drafting program. Mr. Motl didn’t meet any of the requirements, but he did have pictures of his apartment.

And he got the job.

Come Together/Fall Apart

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.”

– Pema Chödrön (via The Mindfulist)

Mr. Darcy Proposal

mrdarcy

Pride and Prejudice fans will love this! Such sweet romance…

$11, Mr Darcy Proposal Dish Towel via Design Mom.

Recycled Canvas Carryall

canvas

Worn-in canvas that is over sixty years old and salvaged from a WWII military duffel bag is now an everyday tote bag.

$48, Forest Bound.

A Cowboy, Baby

cowboy cowboy2

I think the cowboy boot is such a cute trend. I love these for Spring paired with some short-shorts. How could you dare not walk with a cowboy swagger?!

$1165, Star Zip Very Distressed Ankle Boots by Golden Goose (left); $208, Tatiana-Southwest Bootie by Pour La Victoire.

Red Feather

redfeather

I like colorful accessories because if you have a mostly neutral closet like I do (full of grays and blacks), it’s an easy way to bring a lot of change.

$39, Yo Design at Supermarket.

Nooosugar

pillows

curtains

Beautiful tapestries from dutch designer Nooosugar.

It’s All Right

allright

nice

Vintage graphics by Stéphane Massa-Bidal also known as Rétrofuturs. I like 50s styling and optimism.

Paper Masquerade

paperowl

I think it would be worth it to throw a masquerade party just to wear this paper owl mask. How gorgeous and fun!

Paper-Cut-Project via Oh Joy!

Acid Rain & Glacier Bags

Acidrain

glacier

I love the irreverence of these bags, but that their neutral colors mean you could pair them with any outfit.

$331, Acid Rain Suede Grocery Bag by Twelfth St. by Cythina Vincent (top); $68, Glacier Pocket Tote by Shabd (bottom).