Knowing yourself | Kontrary by Rebecca Thorman – Careers, Business, and Life Advice

Careers are like relationships, so ask your mom for advice

by Rebecca Thorman on November 2043 Comments

“I don’t know if I want to be with Zeus,” I say.

“If you don’t want to, then don’t,” my mother replies.

But it’s more complicated than that, and I tell her why. I tell her that I really do what to be with him – a lot - but I don’t know how. I tell her that I’ve been sabotaging the relationship, and I don’t know how to stop. I confess everything, and feel the weight dissipate.

“You do look for problems,” she says. “You push things too far. You test people too much. That’s not good. So now you need to figure out if you’re going to mature and grow up or not.”

I’m silent because normally my mother tells me how great I am, how I can do no wrong, and how all men suck.

Starting over in the same city

by Rebecca Thorman on July 2824 Comments

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Hercules moved away. I don’t feel left behind by Hercules, but by my own life which seems to have somehow escaped me. I am beginning to feel engulfed by this when my friend Maria Antonia comes over.

“Transition periods… they suck,” she reminds me. “I can’t think of a transition period that didn’t suck.”

“Uh huh,” I smile. Maria Antonia is incredibly practical. This sucks, but it will pass. We try on dresses, talk business and girly things, and go out for the night. I come home early. Socializing seems silly when all I can do is think of myself.

Another night I visit with Belle and her fiancé.

How to step up and have anything but a normal career

by Rebecca Thorman on May 0537 Comments

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You know, I get that change is hard. But it’s also inevitable. The world in which today’s young “will make choices and compose lives is one of disruption rather than certainty,” argues this report.

Indeed, when I started my current job, there was much disruption. In the beginning, it was the challenge of transitioning from being an employee to running an organization. Of being lonely. Of complete work/life distortion.

And when I say challenge, I am being polite, because what I really mean is not all unlike the walk of shame after a particularly rowdy and untoward night of college drinking.

Don’t make career plans – here’s why

by Rebecca Thorman on March 3156 Comments

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I thought something would happen the last week of March, but what was supposed to happen didn’t.

See, I was supposed to figure out who the man of my dreams was this past week. Stop laughing. This is serious business. Last year, I felt overwhelmingly that this would happen in March or April, and as time went on, I began to believe that it would happen in the last week of March.

I told a couple people about this craziness – my mother, Belle, Hercules. They all humored me while explaining in a good-natured way that I shouldn’t count on it.

How I got my dream job (and survived)

by Rebecca Thorman on February 2717 Comments

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This post about going from bottom to top was inspired by this comment. Thanks, Milena!

I walked in and almost everyone was sitting down, and the speakers were close, shoulder to shoulder. It was so hot and sticky outside, I went to the bathroom to freshen before sitting down near the door, lest the presentation be boring and I should want to leave in the middle.

Big Brother was the moderator of the panel, and I had seen him in the press, but never in person. After the event, we somehow managed to walk out at the same time.

The most important thing for a decision in politics

by Rebecca Thorman on February 0526 Comments

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Today, I wore a sweatshirt at the same table as someone wearing a suit. Today, I had lunch with someone who I like. He’s intelligent, successful, good-looking. Today, I had lunch with someone who listens to my ideas, and doesn’t agree with me all that much. I respect that.

So, it shouldn’t have surprised me that today, I had lunch with someone who isn’t voting for Barack Obama.

And yet, never has my stomach risen to my heart so violently after eating just a regular ole’ hummus sandwich.

My whole body wanted to reach out and envelop him in all that is Obama.

My non-advice for the New Year

by Rebecca Thorman on January 0822 Comments

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I’ve been writing a lot of crap lately. No, really, I have. You don’t know because I have been gracious enough not to post it, but it’s been crap. Complete and utter sh*t.

I think it’s because I feel obligated to write an inspiring New Years post, but regurgitating what the rest of the world is saying makes me nauseous. And also, I haven’t been too inspired lately, and this blog is supposed to be happy, angry, inspirational, controversial, exciting – anything but depressing – but depressing is the only way to describe my writing as of late.

I was going to show you my calendar of the nineteen meetings I have this week, which is typical.

Helping your career when you’re not middle class

by Rebecca Thorman on December 1941 Comments

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I want to respond to the latest post at Employee Evolution, as I’ve done in the past here. This time, Ryan Healy writes on ways your family can help you with your career. Here’s my take:

I didn’t grow up in upper or middle class, nor did I grow up in poverty.

But a large part of my childhood was being raised in the ghetto of my town by my single mother. People are incredulous when I tell them this.

“Do you even know what the ghetto is, Rebecca?” they ask.

My babysitter acted as my second mother and the neighborhood protector.

How to think bold and dream big, and a realization

by Rebecca Thorman on November 0815 Comments

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‘Tis the season for annual dinners and last night was another one. When the keynote speaker took the stage and began his litany of jokes, I turned to my friend and asked, “Is he drunk?” My friend’s eyes got wide as he raised his eyebrows and cocked his head.

Better drunk then boring, we shrugged.

But as the speaker went on, his short stature quickly filling up the two big screens on his left and right, and then the entire room, I realized that he was certainly not drunk. He was Texan. A Texan State Senator and former Mayor of Austin to be exact – Mr.

Know thyself. Or get a psychic.

by Rebecca Thorman on September 2631 Comments

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Hercules and I recently visited Janet, the Psychic. The Psychic Gallery has bright red carpets, a strange mix of leather couches and plastic lawn chairs, and the fee is $35 to get your palm read. She also offers tarot card readings and full on what-is-your-future readings sans the crystal ball. The entire atmosphere screams rip-off, and it is located a short block from the State Capitol. Only in Madison.

No matter. It was just the entertainment Hercules and I were looking for on a rainy afternoon.

I didn’t want my palm read, but humored Hercules inside. After Janet the Psychic finished a surprisingly accurate reading of Hercules, and told us, in detail, about the zit beneath her eyebrow, Hercules decided that I should get my palm read too.

Narcissism is good for success

by Rebecca Thorman on September 0431 Comments

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Hercules and I went to a friend’s housewarming party on the lake this weekend. We sat and stood and laid on the dock while the dogs and boats and swimsuits blurred by. We talked about what fantastical lives we born and bred Midwesterners led. As the sun played with the edge of the water, half a platter of chips and dip joined the two brats in my stomach, and I summarily declared that I was really good-looking.

Good-looking and intelligent and great.

I do that sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean a lot. I have to remind myself, see.

It’s taken me a lot to get where I am.

Prioritize your authenticity

by Rebecca Thorman on August 3032 Comments

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I don’t openly discuss the fact that I’m a tree hugger because it makes people uncomfortable. See, Mother Nature reminds us a lot of our own mother; we believe they’ll always be there for us no matter what. So I don’t talk about being an environmentalist. It would be like reminding the other person that they haven’t called their mom for two weeks. And no one wants to be reminded of their mother during happy hour.

That’s a mistake, however, because I get miffed when others claim to be environmentally concerned, and are blatantly not. Like the people who shop at Whole Foods, and think that gets them a golden ticket to the garden of earthly delights, even though they have a SUV parked in the lot.