Categories
Happiness Knowing yourself Love What You Do Productivity Self-management Time management

Don’t Trust Your To-Do List
(It’s Crap)

You have the option to listen to this post:

[audio:https://kontrary.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DontTrustYourToDoList.mp3|titles=Don’t Trust Your To-Do List. It’s Crap]

One of my productivity secrets is obsessive singular focus. Give me a task, and I’ll put my head down and get ‘er done. Ryan likes to joke that the last time we moved, he left for work from one apartment, came home to a different one, and the location was the only thing different. I’m that good.

Once there is a goal in front of me, I throw everything at said goal to achieve it. That time we planned our wedding? Most big rocks were complete in 24 hours. Site redesign? Give me a weekend. Total career change? I need a month, max.

One after another, I devote my energies to each goal like a monogamous relationship. And for awhile, it works. Until it doesn’t. This magical productivity train (choo! choo!) stops when obsessive singular focus requires you to ignore everything else that’s important. And because you lose sight, you get overwhelmed. The productivity train slows, then stops.

Last Friday, the train didn’t slow or stop, it derailed. I had been working on merging our financial accounts for about a week. What shouldn’t have been too arduous a process was made more difficult by multiple attempts (like, a thousand calls) to verify my identity with our new bank. I finally got the accounts open Friday afternoon and Ryan said he would change his bills to our new joint accounts on Sunday.

Ahem.

SUNDAY? TWO DAYS AWAY?

Not only had I spent many logistical hours getting our accounts in place, but I had spent many more hours creating new budgets for our joint finances, and most importantly, I was READY. TO. BE. DONE. To cross this task, its sub-tasks, the whole freakin’ thing, off my list.

When Ryan went to pick us up dinner, I called my mom. “Can you believe it? He wants to do it on Sunday!”

“Well, it doesn’t all have to be done right now, does it?” she said.

My mom, ever-the-mediator. I took a breath.

No, it didn’t have to be done then and there. Not at all. In fact, there would be no dire consequences if Ryan changed the accounts on Sunday instead of Friday.

I took another breath. And really, if I had permission to not do things right away, just because it was on my list, maybe I could enjoy our Friday night, and Saturday, and Saturday night.

One more breath. Yes, of course, Sunday was fine.

We live in an achievement-oriented culture, where we add things to our to-do list, even when they’re already done, just to cross it off. The art of getting things done is more important than what we’re doing. Compile the weekly report. Done. Grocery shopping. Done. Write. Done. Exercise. Done. Meditate. Four out of five ain’t bad. But just because we measure by the numbers doesn’t mean we’re complete.

Climbing can be exhausting and I’ve tried to opt out. Not out of hard work, mind you. We glibly talk about first-world problems, but when your food and shelter needs are met, and you get down to the horrifying work of being a decent human being, sitting with your mind day-in and day-out, there are no easy problems. When you’ve stripped the titles and money and accolades, it can be more than difficult to just “be you.”

Not convinced? Witness the existential crises the most privileged among us face: the have-it-all graduates of the Ivy League. In a bracing essay for The New Republic, former Yale Professor and author William Deresiewicz argues “our system of elite education manufactures young people who are smart and talented and driven, yes, but also anxious, timid, and lost, with little intellectual curiosity and a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what they’re doing but with no idea why they’re doing it.”

So we fill our time. With weekly reports. Daily lists. Merging financial accounts. We make things that don’t need to be priorities super important. So we feel important. So that we have meaning. So that we feel we’re on this Earth for some sort of reason.

Me too. I’m super competitive, despite never getting above fifth place on track or speech team in high school (FLUKES, I tell you). I’m good at what I do. I was groomed for the new American Dream where your email open rate counts for more than the type of car in your driveway. I love seeing numbers going up-and-to-the-right whether it’s revenue or minutes per run. Tracking. Self-quantification. Besting my personal best.

And me too. I’m hard on myself. Way too hard. It’s okay not to do it all. It’s okay not to have it all. I have to remind myself.

Obsessive singular focus is a magic potion. But it can be poison. It depends on the task at hand. But here’s a tip: Don’t trust your to-do list. It’s crap.

If you want to work on what matters, new spots are now open for the next round of Accountability Friend, wherein you invest in whatever your heart desires, and I become your accountability friend for two weeks. Click here to take control of your time, and take responsiblity for your life.

Categories
Productivity Time management

7 Productivity Traps for High-Performers to Avoid

As high-performers, we enjoy getting things done and relish the act of crossing items off our to-do list. But it’s easy to get stuck in the feeling of productivity, without actually doing anything productive. Over at US News and World Report today, I reveal the seven productivity traps you need to avoid. Read it here.

Categories
Productivity Self-management Time management

How to Do Work You Normally Procrastinate

When I procrastinate a lot, it’s usually a sure-fire sign that my priorities have shifted, and my to-do list hasn’t caught up yet.  Alas, the task still needs to get done!  Over at US News and World Report recently, I shared my ten fail-safe strategies to avoid procrastination. Read it here, then share what works for you to stop procrastination in the comments.

Categories
Follow the Leader Time management Work/life balance

Follow the Leader – Manage your life like other young leaders

Tiffany MonhollonGen-Y does a heck of a lot. This is the first post in a new series called, “Follow the Leader,” where you get the chance to peek into the professional and personal lives of fellow young leaders to learn how they get it all done. If you would like to be the next young leader profiled, email me.

When I wrote my first post, it was Tiffany Monhollon (left) who contributed the first comment. Which made me giddy for days upon days and gave her instant status as my first bona fide blogging buddy. It only made sense to feature the talented writer of Little Red Suit as the first young leader to be profiled for the Follow the Leader series.

Check out the week of Tiffany Monhollon,
Writer and PR Professional, 25 years old:

(click twice to enlarge and sharpen Tiffany’s calendar and to do list for this week)

Monhollon - Calendar Monhollon - To Do List

Tiffany says:

How to generate ideas
“I listen for themes in my life and let them speak into my work and my writing. I carry a notebook with me at all times and keep track of story, article, blog and graduate project ideas over dinner, while I’m sitting in traffic and when I’m shopping. I have anywhere from 15-30 ideas in progress pretty much all the time. I’m very curious about everything, so that helps.”

Balancing priorities is inherently lopsided
“My priorities often set me, to be honest. In theory, I should set priorities based on what I want to get the most out of in life – relationships, personal interests, family, and then spend my time focusing mostly on those things, right? But truthfully and frustratingly, I find that whatever is taking up my time finds its way to the top of my priorities in practice.

A lot of workers are faced with this reality. That’s why we talk about work/life balance so much. Our work dictates our priorities because it takes the most of our time. I try rather than to ‘set’ priorities, to just take an honest assessment of my time, and adjust that when it gets too lopsided. Otherwise, I would drive myself crazy and feel guilty all the time.

When I spend four hours instead of two on my blog, and ignore the important people in my life, I have to be honest with myself that I’m being really stupid. I have to look at where my priorities are right now by seeing where my time is invested, and then make decisions with my time to shift my priorities to what I want them to be ideally by spending time on them.

People who say family is their biggest priority and spend 70 hours a week working aren’t being honest with themselves.”

Time-management is a myth
Though I talk about it a lot, time management is really a myth. It doesn’t exist, because you can’t control time. It passes, at regular intervals, despite us. Oh, how I wish this weren’t true! But it is, so we have to learn to manage ourselves in time. It’s really all about self-management.

I can’t tell you how many times in life I’ve heard or said some version of: ‘I don’t have enough time.’ But really, the truth is, you can plan on having the same 24 hours each day that everyone has, plan for your plans to be interrupted, and figure out how to manage yourself in that time that remains. That’s really the way it seems to work in real life, all theory aside.”

Aww…
What does Tiffany look forward to the most? “Spending time with my wonderful, supportive boyfriend any time I get to see him.”

What do you think?
Do you relate to Tiffany? Do your priorities set you? Are you constantly on? Do you like the Follow the Leader series idea? What are your ideas to improve it?

Follow the footprints, yo.

Categories
Personal branding Time management

The best time-management advice. Ever.

I recently asked Dan Schawbel, personal branding guru, how he gets everything done: “I don’t know how I do it at this point, but I’m passionate about what I do so I make it happen. Is that a fair answer?”

Not only is that a fair answer, but it’s the best time-management advice. Ever.

Dan, just 23 years old, has launched his Personal Branding magazine today. I strongly recommend you head on over to his website to download the PDF for $12.95. All proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society. I’ve downloaded my copy which is chock-full of valuable information from an interview with Donald Trump, to a slew of guest articles that tell you how to reach your full branding potential.

Trust me, you’ll want advice from this “personal branding force of nature.” Go on. Go see for yourself.

Brand passion.