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Generation Y Leadership Social media

Social media doesn’t create new generation leaders

This post was originally published at Conversation Agent. Thank you to Valeria Maltoni for the opportunity.

We have a deep desire to feel that rise in our chests, the quickening of our breath, the spread of a smile.

Generation Y wants to change the world.

Not the environment. Not healthcare. Not education. Not poverty. Not racism. Not sexism. Not war. Not cancer. Not anything, really.

Just the world.

We want to change the world.

And in wanting so much, we get so little.

Restlessness courses through our veins, for we are never doing enough or being enough. Volunteering, leadership, and entrepreneurship, nor the eventual acceptance of the mundane satisfies our edge.

And there’s a majority of us who just sit back. We sit back, content to lead mediocre lives. To never step out. To work, to love, to lead good lives. To lead good lives, but not extraordinary.

Who among us will lead an extraordinary life? Who will be the leader who steps out on an issue? Who is strong enough in their beliefs and convictions to not only sell their Volvo for a hybrid, but to tell the world about it and get others to do the same? Who will stand up for the horror and revulsion that plagues our world today?

Because the warmth from our laptop screens does little but light our idle faces.

Who will be loud enough? Who will scream?

There’s an acceptance that it will all get done. And social media will help us do it. This idea that we can bring groups together over the internet through blogging and Facebooking, and that it will create significant change is ridiculous. It’s hiring a gardener for the privilege of missing the sensation of earth between your fingers.

It is powerful, this online community.

But it is not enough.

In finding so many ways to communicate, we are communicating less and less in a way that is valuable and meaningful.

Like the placement of a candle in a window was once long ago, social media is merely an instrument. You still have to show up.

You still have to get dirty.

Sam Davidson tells a good fisherman story about a man that finds another man fishing, and explains to him that if he catches many fish, well he could eventually buy a boat. He could then catch many more fish, and could buy another boat, and another and another until he had a whole fleet of boats. And he would sure catch a lot of fish then, and with all of that he could do whatever he wanted.

And the man replies, “You mean, fish?”

So it goes with social media. There is a man talking to another woman in a coffee shop. He says to her, “you know if we stalked each other on Facebook and cuffed ourselves to our crackberries and twittered it up, we could communicate, and reach out to each other, and have great conversations, and you know, change things!”

And the woman replies, “You mean, like right now?”

We’ve created social media for the privilege of missing the look from someone across the table, face to face, secret to secret, ambition to ambition.

We create online communities that secure our quasi-anonymous lives, and moan about not being able to connect with someone.

When all we really have to do is simply say, “Hello.”

Don’t get me wrong. Facebook is great for all the reasons people say it’s great. But when you focus on how a tool can change the world, instead of the cause itself, you mitigate the importance of taking action.

The amount of effort we put into our relationships is what will create change, not the amount of effort we put into building and maintaining the printing press, the telephone, the television, or the better, more collaborative, more inclusive web.

We have to show up, face to face. Our actions, not the means – technological or not – propel change. Our effort makes the difference.

It will be quite easy, really. If only we paid attention to the rise in our chests, the quickening of our breath, the smile spreading on our face.

Eye to eye leadership.

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By Rebecca Healy

My goal is to help you find meaningful work, enjoy the heck out of it, and earn more money.

33 replies on “Social media doesn’t create new generation leaders”

Absolutely! Just like every other piece of technology that crops up (and will undoubtedly crop up even faster in the coming years) it’s just a tool. Just as clicking “Accept Request” on Facebook doesn’t automatically create a friendship bond between you and that person, neither does social media automatically create a community of change. Thanks for reminding us Rebecca!

Have I ever told you that I really fancy your “Moditism” which is a term I coined (unless it’s already been coined.)

Anyways, I especially like today’s “Eye to eye leadership.” I might just use it myself! (If that’s alright with you)

It’s hard not to get distracted by all the things you can do online. I’m a culprit of sitting at home spending hours online doing research and realizing I just spent all of my waking hours at home alone on a computer. This post was quite timely because I’ve been recently doing a lot of reevaluating my time and how I spend it and readjusting it. Part of that is going to include time I spend online. I think that’s probably why people miss college so much. We used IM and the internet to meet up in the student center or you could just walk there and eventually see someone you knew. Now that we’re out it seems the rules are different, people are less able or willing to spend time with one another.

Having Social Media has helped the people and companies I help in real life. It is a tool that has helped me gain fans, readers, and customers for things that matter in real life.

While I am surely guilty of spending a few nights in to play online, including last night where I missed out on a truly great local hip-hop show, I believe that we are still trying to make a personal connection with the people we connect with online.

Truly a great point of view, one that has great valid points. Using Social Media should be a tool, not a lifestyle, maybe a job, but not a lifestyle. Thanks Ms. Modite, have a great New Years! Stay out of trouble.

@ Andre – It’s interesting how we’ve determined how easy some things are. Building a community online is certainly easy, but it doesn’t create the change that is necessary. Thank you for your comment!

@ Ray – Love “moditisms” and appreciate you coining the term :). And yes, please pass on whatever you find useful :)

@ Rosie – Those are some thought-provoking thoughts. I certainly can spend hours and hours online. Which is necessary to maintain the multitude of contacts I do have. However, meeting up with someone does so much more for my own health and the health of my community I believe. Part of the reason I think that it’s easier in college is because you can walk everywhere and everything is within reach – so it’s not as isolating. I still try to walk most places and have people to meet me at my favorite coffee shop – a third place.

@ Greg – I think it helps, but isn’t a fan much more of a fan if they go to see the show, have the experience? So many of us support our friends or our friends friends, but unless we have the face to face experience, that isn’t converted to real loyalty. As you say, we’re “trying” to make personal connections, but I think most of us are realizing you have to work harder. For instance, meeting Sam Davidson, Ryan Healy and Ryan Paugh were all very different experiences in real life vs. online.

Rebecca,

This post exemplifies why I love you so much. You have cut away the crap and pointed to a core issue that so many people forget.

This has been a problem for many generations, not just ours. We have a nasty habit of focusing on the methodology and not the practice. We develop plans for how to do things, but we never actually implement them. We built networks and organizations, and never use them.

I’m a leader in my community because I have to be, because if I don’t do it nobody will. I don’t imagine this makes me a particularly good administrator. I actually am only an average administrator, I serve on a board of directors as president because that’s where my community needs me. When I am no longer on that board, I will still be a leader, but I will lead in other ways. The importance of all this is that I have a passion for the core principle (Change the World), as well as the manifestation and practice of that principle.

The core of changing the world is activism. I don’t mean marches and protests. Things like that are method-focused. They say “lets get everyone on board,” but they don’t make the changes. Changes are made by changing the way we live our lives, and encouraging others to do the same. If everyone that believes something should change, just went ahead and changed it for themselves, how quickly might that spread?

I detest our culture. I think our culture is diseased and poisoned. I don’t declare this from the rooftops or try to get people to agree with me. I just live in a different culture. I refuse to act as though my body or my sex is dirty. I refuse to obey old-school corporate culture. I actively choose to brand myself as a whole individual without any shame. I actively choose to not be anonymous when I act, to use my real name so that anyone can know who I am and what I stand for. I refuse to hide parts of my life from those who may not understand them, or may judge me for them.

That is my work to change, the world, and it is the work of my community to do the same. In twenty years, we will have become the establishment. We can’t keep building networks and preparing without action. If we do we won’t be able to change the world. If we do we’ll be lucky to change ourselves.

I wonder sometimes if it is a personality trait commonly shared or owned by myself, to sometimes feel so very accomplished (I’m doing enough) to feeling lost wondering what to do next (am I doing enough?).

I do a lot. I serve, I take action and I lead by example. Sometimes however I am dissapointed in my moments of rest that I could be doing more, but I do not have the energy or drive at that moment to excercise my thoughts or passions, only to think.

I know I’m doing right, but it feels I am doing wrong. This is not a rewarding feeling. I get my reward from the action, almost like a “fix,” I get the high while I’m exposed and most vulnerable, because that is also when I am most powerful.

“And in wanting so much, we get so little.

Restlessness courses through our veins, for we are never doing enough or being enough. Volunteering, leadership, and entrepreneurship, nor the eventual acceptance of the mundane satisfies our edge.”

Looks like I need to find a way to “show up,” and then a way to stay there! ;)

Joe — you aren’t alone in that feeling. I think every one of us out there taking action gets it. That said, you can’t “show up and stay there.” Nobody can keep going every day. We need time to take a break, to recover, look at our resources and reapply ourselves.

A close friend and mentor of mine has this problem. He burns himself out about once a year because he invests so deeply and thoroughly that he simply can’t maintain it. I model a lot of my behavior after this mentor, but this is a behavior I work very hard not to model.

You have to take time for yourself. Your body, life, and your community will all thank you for it.

@ Theo – thank you for your thoughtful comment! I love being known for “cutting away the crap” :) You make a powerful argument for being yourself, and being accountable and responsible to yourself in order to change the world. I.e., not expecting others to do the work for you.

Over at Conversation Agent, Ryan Karpeles reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Ghandi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Overused and abused, yes, but so right in its simplicity. If we are going to use social media to help us in anything, it will be to reframe arguments and thinking so that people will take action. Action is the key, you’re right.

@ Joe – You’ve described my life! As Theo noted, you’re definitely not alone in that feeling. I think those of us who haven’t accepted the status quo are constantly feeling what you are. You do need to take care of yourself. But I also believe we need to reach for bigger goals. Those of us who are already volunteering and leading and being ourselves fully now need to take the next step. Reach for something larger and specific. And then remember that there is no ultimate goal or achievement. It is the journey.

For everyone – here’s a related article on happiness and never being satisfied:

Me Want More Square Footage!

I think everything you’re saying is great. The Internet and all of its tools are just that — tools. It’s our real-world actions that speak louder than our blog posts, or Facebooks groups, or whatever.

But since you referenced my V-Tech post from awhile back, I will say this, social media can be used by people who lead to communicate with those who will follow. And it’s not about hiring a gardener and missing the sensation of the earth between your fingers. It’s about hiring a gardener and seeing an entire garden in bloom instead of just filling up a few flower pots on your own.

Does that metaphor make sense? Or is it just me?

What I’m really trying to say is, if you’re looking to be that person who stands up for the horror and revulsion of the world, use the tools we have at our disposal to make it happen. Real-world connection is great, I prefer it over all else, but where do you start sometimes? Local resources aren’t always abundant, so if you’re trying to solve one of our world’s ongoing epidemics where’s the best place to start searching for the right people to help?

Unfortunately, they’re not always right in your own backyard.

I couldn’t agree more. While I’ll admit I’ve done my fair share of social networking (I actually met my wife on MySpace), I think people forget that it isn’t, in a sense, real, Greg Graffin, the lead singer of Bad Religion (and a PhD in cultural anthropology) wrote an interesting article in regards to “e-protests”. While the article isn’t available anymore, here’s a summary:

To quote from the first two paragraphs:

Recently, I read an article in the paper that related the growing trend of “Digital Demonstrators” (Wall Street Journal, Dec. 3, 1998). It said that “virtual marches” could be an effective way to bring about social change. It stated that “activists can demonstrate with a mouse click…

This really pissed me off! First of all, it is a gross misrepresentation of what motivates social and political change. Ultimately, social change comes from an emotionally based behavior pattern. The reason people change in unison is because we are united by a similar emotional response. We are not moved to change the laws if we don’t have an emotional experience that connects us to the political issue.

Keep up the good work!

@Norcross It’s so true. It’s interesting that I recently heard a podcast of Penelope Trunk where she briefly mentioned that people have the most problem with posts that pertain to taking responsibility for actions. Sometimes I think things like the ‘virtual marches’ and social media can take away from that responsibility. You don’t have to look someone in the face and see their dissent or disagreement with your cause. It’s easy. It takes all the trial out of a cause which is really great on an individual, surface level (who wants to be disagreed with or face obstacles) but then our personal growth comes from perseverance. And if you never face opposition, you don’t build that character.

But also, I think as Ryan said, networks can be a great way to get the message out. But then it needs to be taken into action and to that personal level or emotional experience that your quote talks about.

So interesting! Good food for thought!

@ Ryan – I don’t think we disagree. As I stated, social media are just tools. Sometimes it can be powerful, but I dont’ think it’s enough. People aren’t taking action because of those tools, as Norcross brought up, but because of an emotional response. That’s built on real interactions. You can start somewhere, like social media, but just make sure you don’t stop there.

@ Norcross – Thank you for sharing such a great quote. It’s absolutely true. That’s how I was taught as a fundraiser. You can throw out as many facts, but people give out of their heart, their emotions.

@ Rosie – You make a great observation. I think a lot of this comes down to responsibility and accountability as well. Thanks for your thoughtful response!

I agree it can be easy to overvalue social media and get so busy blogging or facebooking or whatever that you don’t do anything real. Some of my posts on my site (e.g. http://blog.davewrites.com/index.php?cat=32 ) might give that impression. But I’m under no illusion that adding Barack Obama as a facebook friend is any significant political action. Social media has such a low barrier to entry and participation that it is a new level of opportunity to get people engaged and strengthen or maintain their existing real world connections. It is just another set of tools–but they are new tools and they can be powerful.

Bravo. What a great piece of writing. Way to put a little perspective on the relative importance of social media. The fact is, real change just doesn’t happen in front of a computer. We need to be “in the arena”, just like Teddy Roosevelt said almost 100 years ago (if you haven’t read that quote, here it is -http://www.terrystarbucker.com/archive/my-favorite-quotes-part-1/ ). Eye to Eye leadership indeed! On to my blogroll you go. Keep up the great work, and all the best.

[…] 2. You can’t be found without showing up. A blog network is not your blog. Think of a network as the meeting place – a community house, a bar on a Friday night, the lunchroom at work, whatever. Your blog, in contrast, is your home. You’re the same person – and your posts are the same – in both places, but different people show up and different conversations occur. […]

[…] Lets FACE it – our face to face contact has become less of a priority for making connections, yet it still remains to be the most effective method of communication. As effective as they are, social networking sites and the internet can only do so much. Although they are an incredible tool to use in business, we must remember that engaging the community, others, our family and friends should still be a top priority for us. […]

[…] Nowhere is this as painfully obvious as it is in social media, where we think we’re making a difference by adding the “Causes” application to Facebook, commenting on blogs in such a way as to not offend, where mediocrity reigns supreme, and we insist on engaging in a large amount of narcissistic navel-gazing every Monday morning. […]

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