Airports are particularly filthy places, no matter who you are. No matter what seat you’re in on the plane, everyone has to sit on the same toilet seats in the airport. Or hover, if you’re smart.
I’m not a germaphobe by any means, at least not yet, but airports get to me in a way that other public transportation doesn’t. I’m always looking to count on the goodness of my fellow travelers; but it’s usually about a fifty-fifty split as to who surprises me, for better or for worse.
One of the ideas that I put out there at the beginning of the year was that I wanted to travel more, and indeed, I have taken more trips in the last year than I probably have in my life. And each time, I feel all that is more around me, all that is bigger than myself, and it makes me want.
I get that you can make any city work for you. I’ve been making Madison work for me for almost ten years (oh my lord). And when others would complain about Madison (which they did a lot), I was the one to persuade its virtues (which I did a lot).
So no, this was not my first choice. Or second. Or even third, really.
Following my boyfriend for the good of his career is not my dream. Countless friends have been picked off the career ladder for just this reason and I have always held fast to my ambition during the barrage.
I’ve never had any intention of leaving my career – or my home. But as months, and then years started to separate me from my idealism, I saw in ways that I didn’t understand before how easily people can settle. How it wouldn’t matter much what the next job was because the trappings of work would still be the same, so you settle. Really great positions and ideas and causes can supersede the trappings, but still you come to rest.
So in less than two weeks, Ryan and I have settled everything, but in a different manner entirely.
In two weeks more, with the help of UnitedVanLines.com, we will have moved and all the way to Washington, DC.
. I will work remotely – Alice.com is graciously letting me keep my position. I’ve rented out my condo. Ryan will open a new Brazen office. And we’ve found a great new place to call home. Ryan has lived in DC before, but it will all be new to me.
As I write this, I’m no longer in the airport, but on the plane. It is the time on the flight when everyone is curiously quiet – the babies are suckling, the old men are sleeping, and the young women are reading. Outside the window is a bit of how large the world is, and then, as the aerial views are covered with a blank slate of clouds, how large it could be.
We won’t be in DC long – I’m still holding out for my first choice, after all – but we will be there long enough. Long enough, I think, for an adventure.
43 replies on “Moving to a New City”
I work four hours away from where I live, and commute weekly. Mostly because of my boyfriend, but also because I love Charlotte (where I live) more than I love Wilmington (where I work). It’s not ideal, but it’s not that big of a deal, either. People assume that I’m being held back by my boyfriend, because if I was on my own I would have just moved to Wilmington outright. But I like what I’m doing. I love Charlotte, and I love being with my boyfriend. Not because I’m not independent, but because he makes my life fuller and more fun.
So I hope you really enjoy DC. Because after all, a place is a place. What really matters is being with people you love, and having fun. Enjoy the adventure! Good luck!
@ Harriet – A lot of people are in similar situations to you, albeit probably not as young. And I think it’s an interesting line between being independent and knowing what makes you happy… the line is very different for different people – something I’ve had to learn. Thanks for the well-wishes – I’m excited!
Hahaha, look at all of us moving East. Well, I’ll be the one in the college town now, and you guys in the big city. You ever miss college football, you come see me. Have a safe move and when I’m up in the city, I’ll give you all a call!
@ Emily – Yay! Isn’t it exciting? I’m sure Ryan will take you up on the college football offer, ha. And we’d love to have you visit as we explore the city!
You never know what adventures, as you say, lay ahead for you in DC. What new opportunities will arise that throw a wrench in your initial plan, perhaps even for the better. Although my dream was always to live in Paris, what actually got me here was the person I now call my husband. It’s only “following” if you look at it that way. Look at it as another chapter.
Let me be the first to welcome you to DC, Rebecca! My boyfriend and I made the move here to DC about a year ago from North Carolina and I think it’s one of the best decisions we’ve made (which was a decision we thought long and hard about which I’m sure you can relate to). At the time, it was the best choice for us when we were looking at our careers and our futures. Like you, we probably won’t be here forever, but we’re certainty going to enjoy it!
I wish you both the best of luck with your move. DC is such an amazing city! You’ll definitely enjoy your time here.
When I wrote my post a bit ago about living in Maine my whole life, promoting it’s virtues and awesomeness, and working “from within” to change the way things work rather than leaving, someone asked me if I would ever leave. I told them if the right opportunity presented itself, I would move in a heartbeat.
Everyone assumed I meant career opportunity, but I meant the right LIFE opportunity. This includes moving to be with someone I love.
I know, hard cynical commitment-phobic Elisa just said that. But as someone who has trouble committing to a relationship in the same zip let alone area code, I recognize the beauty that is a relationship that holds enough importance in your life to follow it where ever it might lead you.
People quit their job, break up relationships, and hop on planes across the world to “find themselves.” So what if you move “for a guy.” As long as you don’t LOSE *you* in the process, you are staying true.
And Ms. Thorman, I have no doubt that you’ll hang on to yourself no matter where you go and who with. Enjoy DC and many new adventures! :)
Hooray! Congrats on your new adventure! Moving to a new place can be scary, but it can also present some amazing opportunities. DC is a great city. I’ve lived there for brief periods twice and loved it. Good luck with the move and enjoy your new home!
Well, as someone who had planned on relocating to DC in April, I say CONGRATS!
I think you’ll have a great time and just let me know if you want to meet some people. The DC blogger crew is a fab group!
I’ll even be there at the end of October! :)
YAY!!!
You will love it here! I’m from DC and live here now. You must, must, must read the WeLoveDC blog (the beautiful photos alone make it worthwhile). http://www.welovedc.com/
I hope you enjoy my home and let me know when you get settled as it is my personal mission to introduce everyone in town to Matchbox (http://www.matchboxdc.com/)
@ Lindsey – Great point. I do think that Ryan has been my push in many ways to do what I want, and DC will be a great stepping stone in that way. Nothing like Paris though ; )
@ Jennifer – Excellent! Yes, we thought a lot about it, but in a short time frame. I think that was good though and I’m looking forward to making the leap. It’s funny, my only friend that I knew in DC just moved from there to North Carolina… she misses it a lot : )
@ Elisa – Aw, I don’t know if I’m overly emotional right now (or always), but your comment almost made me cry! I totally agree. I do think it’s great to move for love, life, career… whatever is important to you. Thanks for the lovely comment : )
@ Sam – Thanks, Sam! I’m excited. I’ve heard nothing but good things and the two times Ryan and I went to DC we really enjoyed it.
@ Dysfunction Junction – Yes! I really want to meet a lot of new people while I’m there and form new friendships. I’ve let that go here in Madison, which is too bad, because I’m really the social person! Ha. So, I’ll be taking you up on your offer soon — and I’m so glad to hear the blogger scene is awesome!
@ Sabrina – I heart you for providing me a great DC blog (just subscribed!) and I am definitely going to take you up on Matchbox. It looks like just my kind of place. I’m excited so many fabulous bloggers live in DC!
Congrats on a new season. I hope it is adventurous for you both. :)
Congratulations, Rebecca, to you and to Ryan! I love how life never stops — you may think you’re in one perfect place for good, but then it goes ahead and surprises you. And those surprises usually turn into the best experiences that you couldn’t possibly have dreamed of. You’re an incredibly strong woman, and I can’t imagine you losing any of that ambition. Rather, I foresee many more opportunities opening up for you.
The East Coast welcomes you with open arms! And I’m glad to see that I have a greater chance of actually meeting you now — someday, we will have to talk books and writing :) Best of luck!
@ Akirah – Thanks! I hope we get the chance to meet up : )
@ Susan – I think surprises and quick turns in direction are a fascinating part of life and I’m definitely looking forward to this one. We’ll definitely have to meet up too! Would love that.
Congrats in taking a step for a brand new challenge!!!
Here’s to adventure! I hope you enjoy every moment in DC and am so excited to hear about what’s next for you guys! Enjoy every moment, as I know you will.
@ Bryon – Thank ya!
@ Tiffany – Thanks, hun. I want to hear about your current adventure first! Hope your move went well and you’re enjoying the new job!
Congrats on your move! Gotta love new adventures and traveling. We’ll miss you in Madison. I’m sure your #1 pick isn’t far off. Good luck!
I’ve lived in the DC area my entire life and I can still say that there’s all kinds of stuff I’ve yet to explore. I’m sure you’ll like it just fine here. Madison is a nice place, but maybe you’ll enjoy a little bit less snow. Welcome!
@ Josh – I’m going to miss Madison for sure! Thanks for the kind words and I’m sure we’ll stay in touch : )
@ David – That’s awesome to hear! And yes, less snow is going to be such a blessing! Particularly the chilly (very chilly) temps that accompany said snow in Madison, ha.
[…] like other girls my age who are grappling with the same type of life changes right now, I am terrified and […]
There are so many things that I may never have experienced had I not moved to Atlanta with my ex-husband Labor day weekend 2001. It was scary and challenging, but I’ll never regret the move. I came across an excellent career opportunity and have an incredible social life. You may have been nudged in a new direction but I have no doubt that greatness will follow you to your new home. Enjoy!
I am so excited for you! I’ve only been to D.C. once but I totally loved it and you’re definitely the type of lady who will absolutely thrive there. Can’t wait to hear how this helps you (and your relationship) grow.
Rebecca, this is a great post and very honest in your announcement.
I’m sure it’s adventure, just as you speak of. I’m looking forward to your experience – the challenges and happy bits, all of it. I think so many people can relate and moving for one or the others’ career is something that most people will face in their lifetime.
Happy for you two and that’s great you’re keeping the position at Alice and working remotely. Wishing you all the best and happiness xo
When I followed my wife to Portland from a tiny, tiny town, I couldn’t keep my job so I ended up finding something here. It was a terrible choice on my part (the job, not following my wife). I also resented her because she enjoyed her job so much while I suffered.
Eventually things worked out fine but it was definitely more adventure than I bargained for! Here’s hoping for a smooth transition for you and Ryan. Bring a surplus of patience if it fits in the moving van.
@ Stephanie – I love the way you framed it, “nudged in a new direction” and I too hope that it goes great (a bit nervous- but more for the move) – thanks for the kind words : )
@ Marie – Aw, thanks Marie! You should come visit!! I’ve only been to DC two times but both times were great. Let’s hope that continues! ;)
@ Grace – Appreciate your comment and thoughts. I am definitely counting my lucky stars lately…. and I’m sure I’ll write about all the challenges and happy bits too!
@ Lance – Ha, yes! Ryan is extremely patient, so we’ve got that. I am learning. I am very grateful that Alice is letting me keep my position and work remotely as I think it will help loads. Thanks for the warm wishes and for sharing your experience :)
Congrats! The east coast is a fun place to live, and it’s cool that you get to stay at Alice. I’m sure that made the decision much easier for you, though becoming a landlord is never fun.
Anyway, I don’t think there is “following.” If you think about it like that, you can get resentful just like Lance described. I’ve been there as well with my husband, and he’s felt that way towards me. But part of being a couple is making decisions as a unit, and really, places and things and jobs are not that important in the long run. I think you’re just at that point in your relationship.
Hi Rebecca,
All the best for your new adventures in D.C.!
You didn’t actually spell it out so what was your “first choice”? To stay in Madison or another city in the States or beyond?
Cheers,
Mathieu
@ Monica – Yes, keeping my job was such a blessing and a huge sigh of relief. I’m kind of excited to become a landlord, only because I like our tenant, so hopefully that will continue! And I think you’re right – you can’t think of it as following. I had to get over that in order to feel good about the decision. Thanks for the great advice :)
@ Mathieu – I don’t want to say my first choice so I don’t jinx it, ha. It’s another city in the States, although I wouldn’t mind moving across the pond. My sister lives in England and has for quite some time now so that would be lovely. But I think my mother would kill me if we both were across an ocean!
Hey Rebecca. Congrats on the move! All the very best for a wonderful new phase in your life.
I sensed the uncertainty in you as I read this post. And I know precisely what you may be feeling. I pretty much gave up my career when I moved out of India so you’re in a far better position where you’re still connected to a role and company you love.
There are so many times when I think about what made me, a very driven, highly career-minded woman (an anomaly in the society I grew up in) give up everything and move to a strange new country. And even though my career still hasn’t really got back on track, the moments of even slight regret are slowly coming to mind lesser and lesser :)
@ Sabera – I thank you for sharing your experience – it’s so helpful. It’s definitely a nerve-wracking (and exhausting!) experience, but I know no matter what – even if the worst happens – that it’s the right thing to do and we will get through it. Mostly though, I think great things are going to happen : ) I am glad to hear from a fellow career woman.
Beautiful. And I totally understand, coming from a similar mindset and what might actually be a similar situation sooner than later.
Wow! Congrats! My best friend lives in DC and LOVES it. I hope you will too. I’m glad that Alice is letting you work remotely so you don’t have the stress of finding a new job or worrying about that playing a part in your decision. I hope everything goes smoothly!
@ Lindsey – Funny, my best friend from high school used to live there and just moved away! She’s so jealous I get to go there since she loved it so much as well. And yes, very lucky with Alice!
@ Doniree – ooh, can’t wait to hear about it! Good luck :)
Rebecca – You will love D.C.! It is totally the place for you.
Rebecca,
I’m late to the party here, but welcome to DC! I moved here for my husband (then fiancé) and we haven’t looked back. Ok, so you’ll hear me complain about the horrible traffic and the hot weather…but otherwise, it’s a great city with lots of nightlife.
Best wishes,
Heather
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You’re right — it will be an adventure. Even if it’s not your first choice, there’s always a bright side. DC has tons of cultural and political events and talks — rediscover your former student self and be a nerd again!
It’s also a great base from which to travel the East Coast. Have a great time!
– Emma
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