This is a guest post from my dear friend and change-maker Sam Davidson. Sam Davidson is a writer, entrepreneur, and dreamer who believes that the world needs more passionate people. To help people find and live their passion, he has written 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need. He is the co-founder of Cool People Care and Proof Branding, and lives in Nashville with his wife and daughter.
50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need from Point House Films on Vimeo.
Finding and living your passion is a process. It’s not something you do once over the course of an afternoon at a coffee shop and are done with. It’s a journey you live deeply, repeating as necessary until you die. It’s a commitment, a lifelong pursuit, and a work of epic proportions. Once you decide that you must find your passion, you cannot settle until you do.
This is something I learned from Rebecca Thorman. She doesn’t settle. And neither can you when discovering what it is you love, who it is you’re becoming, and what it is you’re passionate about.
I’ve met Rebecca once. Nothing about her was second rate. The coffee shop where we met, the sushi place we grabbed dinner, the martini bar we went to after that – it was all top notch. Look at her blog design. Read about her boyfriend. Check out what she does for a living. Look at pictures of where she lives (or used to). What about this woman screams compromise?
Nothing.
Take heed: you can’t settle when you’re looking for your passion. You also can’t settle – once you find it – as to where that passion takes you.
For some people, a passion becomes a profession. For others, it becomes a wonderful hobby to explore after work or on the weekends. Some become passionate about a cause and others about people. Be warned: when you decide that you can’t be anything but passionate, you are beginning the journey of a lifetime.
But, what a wonderful journey it is! I firmly believe that the world needs more passionate people. This is why I wrote 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need. Using the excuse to eliminate excess from our lives, I also detail how getting rid of what doesn’t matter can help you discover what does. The same is true in reverse: once we find what’s truly important, everything that isn’t can fade into the background.
Have you seen pictures of what Rebecca cooks? Doesn’t it want to make you do the same? Your passion will be similar. Once you find it, others will see the contagious fire within and want to find theirs. And when they do – when a friend or colleague tells you that they want to be as passionate about something as you are, make sure to warn them. Let them know that if they truly want to find that which makes them feel alive, they can’t compromise. They can’t settle. They’ve got to follow the journey until it’s logical and exciting conclusion. Your passion demands nothing less.
Serious applicants only.
Other things (actually in the book) that you don’t need:
#3: Untaken risks
#12: Pictures that don’t mean anything
#47: A job you hate
Contest:
Share your passionate story in the comments. What is it that you’re passionate about? How did you find it? How long did it take? Where has it taken you now? One lucky commenter will receive a signed copy of 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need.
17 replies on “You Don’t Need To Settle”
I fully agree with not settling. I think sometime between the age of 5 and adulthood, we decided to believe that we couldn’t reach our dreams so we started to settle. No, you can’t be anything you want to be (even though your parents may have told you so), but you can be the best you can be. When you settle, it means you’re sending a message to everyone that you think less of yourself. It is a process, but it takes hard work. Start with a passion. Turn it into a vision. Then take steps to make your dream a reality.
@ Scott – Interesting. I think for me it was those few years after college when I realized I couldn’t do anything I wanted. I’m still trying though as I hate thinking that’s the case. The hard part is most certainly taking those steps, right? Because anyone can have a dream, but trying to get there is where we draw the line between settling and success.
Good thoughts, Scott and Rebecca. I talk a bit about this in the book – that our passion has to be realistic. For example, I love baseball, but I’ll never be able to play professionally. I can still have a career in baseball, just not as a player.
I see the same thing in Nashville with folks who love music. There are a ton of things you can do in music besides being on stage.
To me, that’s one way not to settle. Keep your passion, but be willing to modify it as needed based on your talents.
Someone once told me that in settling for the good, you’re losing the adventure and joy of the best. But as a very passionate person it’s often difficult for me to discern what it is I need to truly care about for the moment. On the other hand, I probably dismiss a lot of the “best” from my life in that process.
It’s interesting that I found this post, as “settling” is an issue I’ve been struggling with recently. I graduate from college in 2 weeks and I’ve been offered a job. It’s not my dream job, by any means, but it’s a job. People keep telling me how lucky I am to find a job in this economy…especially as a recent grad with very little job experience. But I really hate the idea of this job. It’s in a small town, it’s not going to push me at all, and it in now way resembles what I want to do with my life. In finding that job, in finding any job, I lost my passion…my spark.
This morning I received a post-grad internship offer from a large PR firm in Washington, D.C. It pays very little, and I know it’s a risk. Every single part of me wants to take it. The idea of the job makes me feel alive and it reminds me that I do have passion. I never need to settle. It takes a little patience, which I’m not particularly good with, but I believe I will be much happier in taking the risk of an internship than settling for a steady job with a furniture manufacturer.
Long comment to say: I can sacrifice some things….but my passion isn’t going to be one of them. Settling just isn’t worth it.
@ Hannah – Wow – what a choice! It sounds like you’re going for the internship? If so, I’m in DC so definitely get in touch – would love to meet up. My guess is if you’re this passionate and you can execute, you won’t be in an internship position for long – make sure you ask for what you want. Thanks for sharing your story – great jolt of inspiration for the afternoon :)
Hannah: Great story! Thanks for sharing.
It sounds like your mind is made up: you’re headed to DC. Perhaps the best thing you could do for yourself and your career is take the DC offer.
The second best thing is to meet up with Rebecca when you get there. :)
I remember sitting at my computer working on a research project for a major company. My job was to figure out how to sell more roach spray. I remember thinking “I only have 30 or so more years to do this”…and it hit me 30 YEARS!!!! Oh my god, I have to work 30 more years at least. I hated my job. I wanted to teach. So it was then I decided to quit my job, go back to school and get another masters degree…this time in education. Months later as I was in grad school, I received a call from a headhunter regarding a marketing research job. I said “oh no thank you, I’m going back to school to get my teaching degree”. I remember hearing her tone of voice change as she says, ” well you must not ever wanna get rich”…. I remember hanging up thinking, wow she is clueless. People don’t go into teaching for the money!!! But I tell you I am FAR richer than I would have been in the business world. I am so blessed to be doing what I love . No amount of money can buy that! My kiddos make me rich in so many ways. Money? I make pretty good money…. But that’s not why I teach. It’s seeing those smiling faces everyday and knowing I just may have an effect on them. It’s been 16 years since I spoke with thAt headhunter. Her bank account may be richer….but I know my heart is far richer for not having settled.
I love this post about Not Settling as it embodies my new life philosophy. First @ Hannah – go for the internship. I speak from experience and I think it will be worth it in the end.
2 years ago I was settling with my boyfriend (who made me feel worse about myself and brought me down), I was settling with my job (I knew I didn’t really want it, when I was offered it) and I was settling with my attitude towards life = pessimistic.
I have since dumped the bf, although I don’t have a replacement, I am happier and waiting for the right one, not just a placeholder. I have recently quit my job without having a replacement. I was at my desk thinking even if you paid me $100k to do this job, I would not like it.
I know my passion has always been movies and novels, the ability to get lost in both, to laugh and cry from both, to be challenged, to think and reflect and be entertained. So I want to move my career in that direction.
Originally, I wanted to be an actress, but I’m not convinced I’m cut out for that (I was a drama major in high school). I am now thinking of joining marketing agencies with entertainment clients, or working in film/tv distribution/development. Potentially even producing. So I agree with Sam’s baseball analogy, think broader than the player or the most obvious idea. Going to check out that book regardless!
@ Nettie – What a lovely story. Part of me has always wanted to be a teacher as well so I particularly enjoyed reading it and hearing your experience. I’m so glad you’re happy and you’re absolutely right, money doesn’t make a difference at all. I mean, I think you should get paid well, but ultimately after a certain amount, your time matters more. Thanks for the comment!
@ Vanessa – Isn’t it interesting how sometimes you have to hit bottom with everything in order to move forward? I love how nothing was working for you and you’re taking steps to make it all work for you. There’s nothing more exciting than possibility… except maybe actual action. I am looking forward to following your success!
I do not settle for less. I came into this country with only one thought in mind – become a millionaire and I am very serious about my goal. I am passionate about career women, technology, manufacturing, children and quality of life. As an engineer, I am halfway away from realizing my passion, but I feel like I can do more. Hence, I started a blog about Working Mothers and their journey towards financial freedom, gender equality, work-life balance, and life. It’s been exciting and I hope to see enjoy.
info@workingmomjournal.com
Great post, I definitely want to read the book now.
One thing for sure that I have always been passionate about is helping children. I have always enjoyed spending time with kids, babysitting and just playing. When I went to college I felt like I was missing something, I realized it was being around children. On a college campus you are surrounded by people your own age.
So I did my research and decided to be a Big Brothers Big Sisters mentor. I didn’t have a car my first year of school so I asked to be assigned to a child at a school closest to campus. Every week I walked 2 miles from my dorm to go spend time with my little sister. She reminded me everyday how lucky I am just to have shoes on my feet that fit me. I made sure she had a coat each winter and challenged her to think about what she wanted to be when she grew up (the first time I asked her she looked perplexed, like no one had ever asked her that question).
I ended up taking on two littles and mentored them throughout college. I still keep in contact with them and still have a deal that if they go to college I will buy them a laptop. They never thought college was even an option for them. Giving them at least a little hope for a brighter future has fulfilled my life and given me purpose. I truly believe that the more you have in life the more responsibility you have to give back and I am passionate about helping children realize the possibilities their future holds no matter what their life circumstances.
Thanks for a great post!
@ Blessing – Love it. I am really passionate about career women too and it’s inspiring to see working mothers work towards their children’s dreams and their own dreams! Good luck and thanks so much for sharing your story.
@ Rachael – Wow, what an amazing story. It’s people like you that are changing the world, and thinking about your two littles is about to make me cry! Maybe I am too emotional this morning, but your story really touched me :) It’s so generous of you to give your time, money and caring to inspire a new generation. I agree with you, being around kids is so energizing. Thank you for your work.
These stories continue to inspire! Keep sharing, everyone!
@Nettie – wow! Love what you wrote: “No amount of money can buy the chance to do what you love.” Great reminder!
@Sass – You’re a great example of what people should do. Drop what’s bringing you down or not adding value. Don’t settle in any area. Thanks for your comment and your support! Also, I just checked out your blog. Great stuff – I’ll be subscribing.
@Blessing – Great story! I’m glad you’ve found your passion and are looking for practical ways to implement it to help others. Kudos to you!
@Rachael – Thank YOU for your inspiring story! I’m really glad you didn’t use the excuse of no car or being a busy college student to prevent you from helping others. Thanks for the welcome reminder that no matter our circumstance, we can be of use to someone else.
I was looking around for blogs similar to mine and stumbled across this post. Awesome, you got a new subscriber! This is very inspirational, especially in my situation where I just left a sales job because I wasnt comfortable with the comapny culture (a corporate VP came to our office and told us now that we acquired a rival and now have the largest market share, our new goal will be to put the second place business OUT of business) That’s what I was working for, putting other people OUT of work!? I quit and am now looking for a new job, but after reading this, I’m not going to settle and get stuck in a similar situation as I was before. I’m a grad student and have time to look around and find my place. Mahalo!!!!
Thanks for this inspiring post! I’ll share it with my friends. I’ve been thinking along these same lines, and it’s always good to be validated.
My greatest passion is for people and stories. I love connecting with others and learning from their experiences. Every person I come into contact with interests me for one reason or another. I enjoy trying to understand the human condition and what motivates individuals to behave in various ways.
As for avoiding excess, giving up clothes shopping for a year has been a huge move in the right direction!