2012 was the year of money. I made a lot of it.
Making money is easy, making meaning is hard. Making money is finding it where you can get it, and last year, I found it everywhere. I had six different sources of income (eight, if you’re the IRS), that made me more than six-figures. Mostly from my pajamas at home, sometimes with a sandwich at a coffee shop.
Making money is fantastic. People that tell you otherwise, I don’t get them. Money feels good, and earning money feels real good. There’s something particularly great when you earn it directly, without a middleman, something about proving your worth.
Especially when your main activity prior to bringing in the cash was the torture of “What should I do with my life?”, “I want to do something meaningful!” and “I’m not living up to my potential.”
Making money after a constant wringing-of-the-hands is freedom. At least in the beginning. Making money after a career in non-profits and startups (my first job out of college paid me $26,500), is all the more amazing to me. No background in banking, no experience in sales. Just desire (and if it’s not obvious, a lot of work, positioning and connections, lest I perpetuate the myth of the American Dream).
Salaried jobs have a ceiling. You work, and “get a salary and a status bump with every sideways leap… flightiness is the new aggression,” argues New Yorker’s Nathan Heller. After job-hopping, you work and make more when you do more. And then finally, you work more until you realize you can’t make more. You hit the ceiling. Maybe with some maneuvering you could earn an extra $20K a year. But most people hit the ceiling and then settle.
I hit the ceiling and looked for a window.
It started with a dinner party. I met the owner of a small business, followed his company, and noticed an opening for a full-time marketing professional. I pitched him the idea that I could do everything in his job description for two-thirds of the salary and half the time. The next day, I still had my full-time job, and signed my first client.
“Today, careers consist of piecing together various types of work, juggling multiple clients, learning to be marketing and accounting experts, and creating offices in bedrooms/coffee shops/coworking spaces,” argues the Atlantic.
Creating a portfolio career, where we have more than one job/employer/client at a time is not for the feint of heart. Many of us have employers, precisely because we don’t like what we do. It’s easier to shift personal responsibility to the organization. It’s easier to play a pre-defined role instead of create your own. And despite being the most entrepreneurial generation, for many Gen Yer’s it hasn’t sunk in yet that a salaried job carries just as much risk as a do-it-yourself career.
Regular emails from young graduates land in my inbox, frustrated by their Starbucks career, anxious for “real work.” Their search for the elusive dream job lacks any real direction or enthusiasm, except for an insistence that they don’t want to be part of the sixty percent of America who can’t put a finger on what’s holding them back from their goals. Not knowing our purpose in life, it’s unbearable. “My insatiable desire for more money, knowledge, time and freedom leaves me perpetually unsatisfied,” argues blogger Ryan Stephens.
Gen Y’s overwhelming anxiety began long before the recession, and has only deepened after being forced into jobs we should feel grateful for, but instead only make us feel claustrophobic. Pile on the generation’s massive debt and unconscionable unemployment rate, and we’re at a loss to do anything but ask, “Now, what?”
I chose money, at least for the short-term. I paid off my student loans, maxed out my Roth IRA, built a six-month emergency fund, bought a new wardrobe twice, nested our new place, and paid for a two-week European vacation (with real beds and adult dinners). I chose money over settling. But I also chose it over meaning.
It’s here I’d like to say I proved my hypothesis – that you should make money, and do what you love on the side. But jobs that pay well require your full attention. And insatiable desires to change the world don’t just go away (darn it).
So 2012 closes how it started, between making money and creating meaning, a rock and a hard place. I’m relieved to have my finances in better order. I’m proud to have proved “my worth.” And I’m still desperate to do something with my life.
How do you reconcile your dreams with a paycheck?
47 replies on “How to Decide Between Money and Meaning”
Such a great question and one I have been thinking a lot about lately. When I got laid off from my job (stupid economy!), I decided to strike out on my own and while I am doing work that I adore, I realize that with my skill set, instead of trying to make money off my “passions” I could easily a) get another full time, stable paycheck or b) do freelance work that pays more but isn’t fully in line with my interests/goals. I thought it would be an easy decision to stick to the stuff I love but I must admit, after six months, the lure of knowing I could be bringing in more cash is out there and tempting as hell!
Hi LC, thanks so much for sharing your story! I can absolutely relate to toeing the line between what you’re good at and what you enjoy. I’d like to be able to say, “Go forth! Follow you passion!” but last year taught me it’s all more nuanced. I do think it could be worth it to make a bit of money in order to give yourself more lead-way in the future. As long as you don’t get stuck in a lifestyle that keeps you from your goals, if that makes sense. One thing I am trying to rid the world of is the notion that we have to find a set path for the entirety of our lives. That’s not the case, at all! So if something is “tempting as hell” to you (love that, btw), it may be worth exploring, if for no other reason than to give you a cushion for your dreams, you know?
Excellent post!! I don’t know how you do it but your posts are usually quite timely… It’s actually creepy. Anyway needless to say I’m struggling with the same questions.. I particularly liked the sentence: “And insatiable desires to change the world don’t just go away (darn it).”
Congrats on making money :))
Haha, that’s awesome. I’m glad to know that many of us our struggling with similar issues, only because I find it so interesting to know how we all solve those challenges. Thanks for the comment!
Yay! New posts on Kontrary!
I think you’ve proved something – money is easy to make; meaning is way harder. Yes, making money takes work, sweat, gumption, risk, initiative, and time, but it can be found. Meaning is way more elusive because it can’t be measured as easily (numbers and data).
I find meaning in stories. To me, one metric of success isn’t just how much income I have or how many people I speak to, but also the depth of stories that emerge from my work. When I do any sort of personal review, I look at numbers. But for me, numbers devoid of impact and stories aren’t fun. They’re not important.
Of course, I think we can have our cake and eat it to, make the money and have the meaning. The trick is that meaning is different for each of us, while money can relatively be the same. Lots of people would agree that six figures is great, but I may find meaning in talking to college students about leadership whereas you may find it in saving the planet, starting a business, or owning a fish.
That said, to me, meaning can’t be sacrificed for money. If you have what you need (being hungry or homeless makes finding meaning difficult), then I’d also encourage people to chase meaning next. Sure, you could make oodles of cash, but without proper context it is…indeed…meaningless.
This is truest in the context of relationships, where all of us probably derive our most meaning. Noticeable absent from your post is the context of what I think is a great joy – your relationship. The word “our” is included, but my hunch is that Europe was better because you had a traveling companion; your apartment is homier because you don’t live alone, and all that working pays off in comfortable living with one who always makes you most comfortable. And if more money enhances that relationship, then I’d say you may just be in the midst of meaning after all.
Sam, I love this so much. You’re so right of course that it’s easier to measure success by the same rulers we all use instead of the ones that are most meaningful to us. And I love the stories are your metric; I would use the word “experiences,” but it’s all the same, and very important. When I talk about meaning, that is most certainly what I am trying to get across. And yes, I feel lucky every single day to be in the relationships I’m in – not just Ryan, but my family and friends as well. No one are bigger supporters of my dreams than Ryan and my mom, and for that, I am forever grateful. Thanks for that lovely reminder.
Wonderful! Thank you! Just read Mission Adulthood by Hannah Seligson and loved it. Feels good to not be alone in my 20’s!
I’m with you, Danielle! Stoked to hear you enjoyed Hannah’s book, thanks for sharing :)
Congrats on such a successful year!! Great post :)
Thank you, Patti!
I think the hardworking, savvy, go-getters among us will each find our own balance. Thousands of Gen-Yers, through the same amount of effort and connections that allows us to succeed in careers, will succeed in finding a place where we are making the world a better place while paying our rent. But, that choice comes with sacrifice. Which I think asks us the real question: Are we willing to let go of some material things to help “change the world”?
Because, to me, it’s just that simple. If you are a doctor, are you willing to take a year off to give health care to low-income families in Appalachia or Malawi? As a marketing consultant, are you willing to take a non-profit client for half your rate?
I mean these as examples and ideas; of course each of us has a different version of what “changing the world” means and varying strengths to contribute to the greater good.
Also, I think we should get over ourselves. Who thinks they can achieve an “insatiable desire for more money, knowledge, time and freedom” as an entry level 20-something? That’s ridiculous. We might be able to have a degree of all of those things if we constantly strive for them while appreciating that we already have them more than any other generation did.
Thanks for the great comment, Lindsey. I totally see your point about material goods, but I think it’s hard to make the judgement we should “give up material things.” We all spend money in very different ways, so what you may perceive as excess or material may not be the case to others. But yes, absolutely, there is an element of sacrifice and gratitude to any endeavor that is worth undertaking. And Gen Y could definitely do with a little less navel-gazing. Really appreciate you bringing up these ideas and would love to hear your related experiences.
THanks Rebecca. I don’t mean to judge other’s financial decisions. What I mean is that I don’t think it’s usually possible to maximize both financial return and changing-the-world type work. But, I think I’m misunderstanding what you mean by ‘changing the world.’
I’m inspired when people push themselves and take risks until they find work that has meaning to them, and I think you can find that work without financial sacrifice.
But, I define changing the world as work that tackles our food system crisis, or environmental crises, or poverty, pollution, the health care system, education in low-income areas, etc, etc. So, I don’t think you have to choose between meaningful work and a higher salary, but I do think you have to choose between a higher salary and saving the world.
*impossible
Great points. Totally agree.
Great conversation – In my experience, financial integrity is the foundation that allows you to do work that has meaning. Doing what it takes to pay off debt and build up a reserve is not only responsible, it also gives you time to learn about how you show up in your work, what has meaning, build a network, and explore possibilities. Investing the time to find and do something that is meaningfully yours to do becomes lucrative. Conversely, a financially rewarding job that extract to high a cost in terms of lifestyle, integrity, or energy isn’t sustainably rewarding on any level. Knowing yourself, how you contribute and what you value are the keys to building a career with both meaning and money.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Nicolette. I agree financial integrity is a tremendous foundation… sometimes I really wish it weren’t tho, ha. It’s an ongoing process no matter what, learning what makes you feel fulfilled and financially secure in some sort of balance. Thanks again.
R- we need to catch up! i’ve got the opposite: lots of meaning, no money. either extreme is a very difficult place to be…will share more over coffee :)
Yes, I feel you! Can’t wait to hear more :)
It’s actually really refreshing to not read a fluffy post about following your dreams. I appreciate your honesty and level-headed attitude!
Thanks so much, Kait. I hate fluff and I hate snark. So none of that is here on Kontrary.
Yes. To this. As someone who has very much gone through, well, a very similar journey in the first few years of being an entrepreneur (making a lot of money – feeling insanely burnt out/overworked from saying “yes” to way too much, learning that money is still important, and necessary to live the life I truly want for myself, but ultimately deeming this “meaning” to be most important) – this all rings incredibly true – and I’m glad to see an article that acknowledges that money IS important and it CAN be a goal, without being this dirty, filthy thing to desire.
Part of my meaning – part of what adds value to the experiences and the moments I find myself in through the work that I do – is, as you so aptly put, that feeling of making it – earning it – on my own. I love being an entrepreneur because of the freedom it allows me to, if nothing else, be in control of my own destiny. In control of what I say “yes” to, what I say “no” to – and knowing that if I’m willing to put in the work, the sky truly is the limit – both in meaning – and monetarily. Cheers!
Isn’t it SO empowering? I am a control-freak, so I find it particularly intoxicating, ha ;) I also really resonate with the experiences and cycles you had in that you want to make a lot of money and do it, but then realize, hey I want these other things too, and then money no longer seems to have that hold on you that it always has in the past. Love that. Thanks for sharing this!
Love this, and something I completely identify with at this point in my life and (fledgling) career. I suppose I need to start attending more of your DC meetups, because I’m really curious as to the how of this post – how many hours per week you worked? How you zero-ed in on and successfully pursued 6 (4) different sources of income? As a perpetual dreamer I find the getting started to be the most difficult step, let alone getting started on multiple projects. But perhaps that’s a post for another day!
Thanks so much, Amber. A few people have asked about the “how” so maybe I’ll do a follow-up post. I think the key is to always have something in the hopper or a back-up so that as you shift priorities or projects, you have the right financial support beneath you. That first step is HARD, but you’d be amazed how easy it gets from there. The moment you put yourself out there, I’ve found the universe conspires to help you.
I’m happy to hear you’re doing a follow up post on how to get started. Looking forward to it. In the meantime, what would you suggest to struggling newbies like me–take an online marketing course, become an expert on social media, or something else? I seem to be lacking a lot of skills.
You can learn skills at a job the quickest. And there are transferable skills, which are most important. I didn’t get my first marketing job because I had experience marketing, but because I could show what I did in other positions was relevant. What do you do now? Can you apply those experiences and lessons to what you want to do in the future? And then, yes, you should always be learning – take a course, read up, try experiments. Take action, don’t just wonder.
Oh wow, I love this post! I am making money right now, close to six figure, but no meaning. I long for meaning, a purpose and I feel like its affecting my day job. How do you work on your purpose and still stay inspired at your day job? I think that’s the real question for me.
Do you have to stay inspired at your day job? Or just complete what you say you will, and fulfill your responsibilities? Some of the most freeing advice I got, a little over a year ago, was that it’s okay to mentally disengage from a day-job. Don’t do bad work, but allow yourself to be invested in your purpose instead.
That is really good advice. I found myself disengaging from my day job or at least infusing my passions into my day-to-day work to stay sane.
How do you reconcile your dreams with a paycheck?
Lots of folks sure seem to have that question. It really comes down to intent. You can fulfill your dreams while being the night janitor. I wouldn’t call it reconciling so much as releasing our grip on unimportant details. Do what you do to support what you are being. It’s alignment. You haven’t tasted satisfaction until you have tasted it from this clarity. Consider more here: http://www.veraclaritas.com/it-is-time-for-life-sustaining-entrepreneurship/
Right on! Thanks for sharing.
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I’ve still got my day job (which makes me as happy as watching paint dry!) and I want to be sure I’m doing my best while I’m there. But I’ve decided that I need to start moving towards what I really want to do. I’ve got my own small business (Video, Photography, Music) But I really need to work on getting more clients/business. But when you have to be “in lockeddown” for the chunk of the day, you really don’t get a chance to spend the hours needed to accomplish this! Any advice for me or people who might be like me? :-)
Yep, and it should be in my next post. The short answer is, you need to give yourself permission to mentally disengage from your current job. I think high-performers and motivated people in particular (and I’m guessing you are one since you say you want to do your best while at your current job), have a problem doing this. But you’ll still get your work done. You need to start putting your mental energy toward your small business if you want it to grow. Hope that helps!
Every once in a while I stumble back upon your posts and still find them inspiring. Yeah, I agree money is great. Meaning is harder. This last year I also made more money than I ever have in the real estate business. When I read your post, I couldn’t help but think about the book “The millionaire real estate agent” by Gary Keller. His book is a model for Realtors to follow to achieve greatness based on similar success of great agents. Fewer people remember the subtitle, “It’s not about the money… It’s about being the best you can be!” I think when we truly show up and give our best, that’s when we find meaning.
Congratulations on your great year!
Thanks, Josh! I agree about showing up to do your best and that’s such an important component. When you do good work, you’ll get a high return.
Well said. I loved your article!!
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How the hell did I miss this blog post? As I sit here thinking about trying to make the next step I look at you now and the large amount of admiration I had for you and Ryan just tripled.
However I too find myself at a crossroads of what I really want with my career: fun, money, meaning. Can I have it all? Do I have to ultimately choose one?
I’m not sure that anyone is necessarily entitled to “meaning”.
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How the heck does this work?
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