I went out on a date last night. A real date. A lot of the time I go out for dinner or drinks, and the guy thinks it’s a date, but it’s really not, and I’ve yet to figure out how to handle those situations gracefully. I usually smile the smile that says you’re quite lovely and nice, but I don’t think so bud. Usually, they get it. I think.
But last night was a date. I know it was, because we discussed it beforehand. As a Gen Y leader, that’s what you have to do. Your life is in the spotlight, much more, and in some ways, much less, than I would have ever imagined.
As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about it. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I discuss.
Belle and I also talk about our sisters and our jobs. We talk about how her mother has breast cancer. Again. We talk about our goals, and dreams, and what to wear on Friday night. But mostly we talk about our respective relationships. Because uh, it’s not like they doesn’t exist, and I have trouble ignoring things that are so basic and integral to our life.
Big Brother likes to keep such things hush-hush, and recommends that I don’t date anyone in my organization. An odd bit of advice, because our membership is made up of young professionals in Madison, and the ones that aren’t part of my organization, well, it’s my job to recruit them. That pretty much cuts out, oh, I don’t know, every good-looking young bachelor in the city. Every young, single, and eligible man in Madison is off-limits. It’s an impossible situation.
So, I went out on a date last night, and he happened to be a member of my organization, and when I tried to explain my hesitance with this fact, he just laughed, like “Is this really what keeps you up at night? You are so lame.” And I laughed back nervously, like “Yes, cute young professional bachelor, I am totally lame. You’re absolutely right.”
I guess I tend to take work too seriously at times. I work hard. It doesn’t stop. From the moment I wake up, I am working, until the moment I close my eyes in bed. And because I can work from the coffee shop, home or at the bar, and not just in my cubicle sans windows, I do. Which means when it is 8:24 pm, I’m usually working. And when it’s 10:02 am, I am working. And when it’s 3:35 am in the morning, well, I am sleeping, but I am working then too. Really. I have productive dreams.
Honestly though, I don’t know how other people do it, and I am beginning to think that I must have some serious health issue because I am not the Energizer bunny of Generation Y. A disappointment that is greatest to myself, because I look good in pink.
So, I am trying my best, which seems to be working out, mostly because your best has to be good enough, and I love myself enough to realize that my best is really quite amazing.
16 replies on “Life as a Gen Y leader – Week six”
Ah, Rebecca! Thanks for the gut-level honesty in this post. You’re right – it’s tough to balance and prioritize for life, especially when you’re in a proving yourself time at your job.
I too think that since I am a good person everyone should like me. If it helps at all I like you :D hey and I’m in love with sushi as well so we must have been meant to meet. I am considering writing something soon about the fun dating/work/life issue but I am not quite ready yet, I enjoyed reading yours though.
Hey, stumbled across your blog trying to ride out the food coma after lunch today at work in chicago. You kind of sucked me in and I read a bunch of your posts; you’re pretty funny, insightful, observant and a bit preachy/opinionated at times….but that’s a good thing. Oh yeah, and you love to make lists! You should post your grocery list, now that would be funny.
Really I enjoyed your blog b/c at first it appears you have everything figured out…but then you give us a glimpse into your personal life or inner thoughts and we see that you are just like one of us….seeking an answer to a question that doesn’t have one…hungry for knowledge.
thanks for the after lunch pick me up.
@ Tiffany – Thank you! I don’t know how else to be except honest, so it’s nice when others recognize it :)
@ Elysa – I know, right? Thanks for your kind comments. I’d be interested to hear how other twenty somethings are dealing with dating and work, so I’m looking forward to your post!
@ Timmy D. – You can definitely come back more often with all the nice things you’ve said there. Hm. I do like to make lists. Especially to do lists that I can cross off. Good observation!
I definitely do not have everything figured out – do any of us? I think it’s better to be real and not act like we’re all perfect and have everything figured out. It makes life much more interesting to be open and honest, and we all learn more that way. I think I’m getting preachy, as you say, so I’ll stop now ;)
I’m a little bashful of this self-promotion, but I’ve recently posted a sibling-oriented piece.
I’m curious though, are you an older or younger sister (as you mention you have one here)? I’d like to see you write on what you may or may not learn from being a sibling. I like the nurture dynamic.
It was theorythree inspired, having mentioned his older brother and their dynamic.
[…] Life as a Gen Y Leader – Week six […]
@ Torbjorn – Big Brother refers to a mentor relationship, not an actual big brother – sorry for the confusion. Maybe I will write a cast of characters to clarify…
TheoryThree/Dan Merfeld rocks. Yes, he does.
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[…] There’s nothing special to being a leader. You have to deal with a lot once you jump in, sure. It’s a challenge and it’s hard work and it’s rewarding and it’s fantastic. But leaders aren’t all that different from the rest of us. […]
[…] I often tell my best friend Belle about Guy A who sucks at life, or Situation B that just rocked my week. She empathizes, congratulates, and is a good friend, but she has no idea about the foolishness or magnanimity of either like a co-worker would. […]
“…and I’ve yet to figure out how to handle those situations gracefully.”
Well, you could, you know, use your words and tell the poor deluded bastard, instead of vaguely hoping he “gets” it. A little forthrightness and honesty, perhaps?
[…] The thing is, I’ve been saying “I’m just not up for it,” to my friends more often than not, and I’m quickly losing whatever semblance of balance I used to have. Big Brother claims he keeps his personal life separate because it’s difficult to be a public figure, but I’m increasingly wondering if the real reason is because he doesn’t have one. […]
[…] Indeed, when I started my current job, there was much disruption. In the beginning, it was the challenge of transitioning from being an employee to running an organization. Of being lonely. Of complete work/life distortion. […]
[…] Indeed, when I started my current job, there was much disruption. In the beginning, it was the challenge of transitioning from being an employee to running an organization. Of being lonely. Of complete work/life distortion. […]
Just getting the brats to move out of home by 30 would be nice.