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This video is a response to the comments I received on my post, ‘Don’t Burn Bridges’ is Bad Career Advice, that was also featured on Brazen Careerist.
One frequent comment talked about the idea that you will someday need a reference from a previous employer to get a job. I argue that you may not need that type of reference, especially for “cool jobs.”
AGREE: Do I want to work in an environment where self-expression is frowned upon, where I am judged for something so trivial? No.
DISAGREE: You may not even need “social media marketing.”
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I’m exhausted. I worked eleven hours today. And it wasn’t the work, but the emotional excitement and fatigue that comes with ideas and the wherewithal to execute on them.
I’m exhausted from putting myself out there and taking risks and worrying too much that I’m not doing the right things. I’m exhausted from working the entire weekend. I’m exhausted from missing my friends.
The last thing I want to do is write a blog post. But I made a promise to a fellow blogger. I made a promise to Dan Schawbel, author of Personal Branding Blog, and one of my first friends in the blogosphere. It’s appropriate that I made this promise to Dan because he is one of the hardest workers I know. And what I’ve been pushing myself to do the last few months, he has been doing much longer.
I met Dan in person when I was in Boston late last year, and he is a character. This doesn’t always come through in his blog, much to my dismay, because he is a great character. But Dan is masterful at crafting and presenting his own personal brand – a testament to his expertise on writing a blog on the same topic.
When you are done reading this post, Dan’s book will be out on Amazon. It’s called Me 2.0: Build a Powerful Brand to Achieve Career Success. And you should go buy it.
It’s the type of book I wish I had in college – I would have devoured every word. It’s the kind of book I wanted when I graduated and was lost and confused. It’s the kind of book I read now and still learn from.
But you should also buy it because Dan has been the type of person to say hi to me on gchat for no reason. He is the type of person to be ever-so-complimentary, even when he disagrees with me. He’s the type of person who will help without asking, who is innocent to drama, who believes in what he does more than the majority of people I know.
He is the type of person that – after so much work and dedication – deserves to succeed.
Here’s to your success, Dan. I hope everyone buys your book.
One of the many brainstorms for the art above my couch.
The key to hanging art is to measure 58 inches (gallery eye-level) from the floor to the center of the art. With arrangements, first lay all the pieces out on the floor and rearrange until you like what you see. Then measure 58 inches from the floor to the center of the entire grouping.
This post isn’t about if you like your job. So please don’t write in the comments that you love your job and your boss so you would never burn bridges. Obviously.
People burn bridges when they don’t like their jobs and their bosses. Or work with totally lame people or are completely bored. So you get fired, or laid off, or there comes a time when your job just isn’t what it used to be so you leave.
You shouldn’t just walk out. You should give notice and finish your projects and be polite (if for no other reason than your own sense of pride and accomplishment). But there’s no point in continuing a negative relationship once you’re out the door. The advice to not burn bridges is outdated.
Here’s why it’s okay to cut ties:
1) You’ll change careers too often for it to matter.
Most likely, you’ll change jobs six to eight times before you’re thirty and 40 million people relocate each year, while 15 million make significant moves of more than 50 or 100 miles, reports Richard Florida.
The old rule was that workers would move to another job in the same industry in the same town. This encouraged politics and the necessity of kissing butt. But work is changing, and now you’ll change careers and locations so often it won’t matter.
2) Your old boss won’t help you.
“Healthy relationships, whether personal or professional, are formed on the basis of give and take,” LaTosha Johnson argues. It’s rare that someone will help you if you can’t help them. And besides, you won’t benefit from forcing a relationship with someone that doesn’t share your values. When push comes to shove, these people will not help you. Why would you want to be associated with them anyway?
3) You won’t need a reference.
If you’re leaving your job, you’ll probably be looking for a new job that is more fun and more challenging. Most cool jobs don’t require traditional references. Instead, they require that you know someone to get you in the door and vouch for you. That’s usually never your current employer.
It’s quite easy to prove yourself and your work ethic in other situations like blogging, volunteering or side projects that show your worth and capability. Networking outside of your career and company is a great path towards success and is your best safety net.
4) You can have an enemy (or two).
But probably not more. Caitlin McCabe says that competition is motivation. Having competition and people that remind you of who you don’t want to be is actually healthy.
In a playful but entirely useful article, Chuck Klosterman argues for both a nemesis and an archenemy: “We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything.”
5) You can start over.
Whenever you start something new, ask yourself, “If the worst happened, would you be okay? Can you accept the worst case scenario? Can you fail and survive?” Because you might just ruin your reputation, bankrupt your organization and turn an entire city against you. It happens to good people every day. Really.
Failure is an option. And it’s your best negotiating tool. That is, the ability to start over gives you unlimited opportunities.
None of these reasons excuse you from doing a superior job or give you an excuse to be a dick or a slacker. But there’s no reason to hold onto baggage that isn’t healthy. Remember, there’s a reason you’re leaving.
AGREE: The recession has created a new breed of people, a new socioeconomic crowd. One that looks pretty well-off, but is really struggling, @AmySegreti
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Note: I’m not giving up Modite / Career and Life Advice. I’m simply establishing an additional blog. Read on for more details.
I studied design in college. God only knows why. I arrived at school ready to study journalism only to find myself bored. And subsequently confused. I decided to visit the career advisors.
“You don’t need a journalism degree to be a journalist,” said the journalism advisor.
“We need you,” said the design advisor.
And so I made a decision.
I studied art and photography in high school and thought it would be a good foundation for entering design. But I didn’t expect the utter heartbreak that comes with being pushed to the edge of your ability.
Specifically, I remember one of the first assignments to design and build a model of a museum. The day before it was due, I spent the night with white cardboard scraps like snow on the floor, crying in despair.
Design was never easy for me.
And while I was generally at the top of my class, I longed to be as talented as the students at RISD (Rhode Island School of Design). I wanted to be a genius. And perhaps because I wasn’t, I didn’t pursue it much out of school.
And while my design degree didn’t provide obvious practical skills, my experience was a complete confirmation and expansion of how I viewed the world. That is, I am someone who sees everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. And it is these ideas that excite, overwhelm, and won’t let go.
Enter modite / character.
It is a design, style and culture blog that will be more of a visual experience of the themes and values that are fun and amusing and important to me. For my own sanity. To nudge past what I thought was the edge in the great big search for meaning.
On the admin side, I’ve migrated the photos that were part of the original Modite site to the new one. It just seems a better fit.
I don’t expect the new blog to be all that useful, but that’s the point. Practicality doesn’t breed innovation. I just want to be more. Welcome to modite / character.
Please visit modite/character to comment and subscribe for new updates.
Here’s a weekly round-up of my Alice blog that is about quirky and practical advice for your life and home…
Quick! One more day to enter to win Alice swag!
Ryan loves Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.
I don’t buy sunglasses like these.
Are you defined by your values or your stuff?
I have the biggest blog crush on this girl.
I’m a shower thinker. Are you?
Find much more on Alice. Thank you!
AGREE: There is a sense that it may all be coming to an end, that the threat this time is real and that the old business models can’t survive, @Richard_Florida
DISAGREE: They’ve been out of the job market for years. Parents mean well, but they can give a lot of useless advice, @Writerbabe
AGREE: And in my opinion this bashing represents the worst of the technology community, @shivsingh
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