I thought something would happen the last week of March, but what was supposed to happen didn’t.
See, I was supposed to figure out who the man of my dreams was this past week. Stop laughing. This is serious business. Last year, I felt overwhelmingly that this would happen in March or April, and as time went on, I began to believe that it would happen in the last week of March.
I told a couple people about this craziness – my mother, Belle, Hercules. They all humored me while explaining in a good-natured way that I shouldn’t count on it.
You can’t plan for things like this, they said. You can’t plan for love.
Fine, I told them. But I went ahead and had drinks with every eligible bachelor I knew. Just in case. Then I waited for fireworks.
Nothing.
Okay, so you can’t plan love. And you can’t plan for your career any better.
When you stick to a plan, you miss out on opportunities. Besides, you’re only in control of yourself. You may have goals, but unless you’re ruthless with yourself and who you are – your abilities, your strengths, your weaknesses – you’re not going to get anywhere.
For instance, I had drinks with Johannes last week. He’s been planning one particular career path for a number of years now and found out recently that he didn’t get the job he really wanted. He got another great job, but it wasn’t the one he had put on the map he carried around and relied upon. Understandably, he was pretty despondent.
This was probably you when you realized that you would never use your degree. Or when you found out you couldn’t have children. Or when you started your dream job, the one that paid you large sums of money, and you looked outside your corner office with a view and realized you’d rather be a musician.
That’s the thing about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans. So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and flexible for the opportunities that come your way.
Like Sunday, when I shot a gun. Um, yeah.
If you know me at all, you know how ridiculous this is. And my mother is probably having a heart attack right now. But mom, it’s okay. I was very safe.
I’ve never believed that people should own guns. In England, they don’t allow people to own guns, and there’s virtually no gun-related crime. Seems easy enough to me. So I’ve always thought that owning a gun was downright stupid. Or I did. Until my friend drove us to a shooting ground, taught me the rules of gun safety, and I pulled the trigger. I actually even hit the target several times.
Do you know how exhilarating it is to try new things? To take risks and do something you never thought you would?
That’s why it’s so necessary not to hold onto your plans, opinions, and beliefs with such strictness that you can’t change and adapt, and with such fear that you don’t live your life.
You know, I was never going to be the person I am today. I was going to be the next William McDonough. I was going to be the next Samuel Mockbee. And well, I’ve always wanted to be Oprah. And maybe someday I will be. But I’m pretty glad life got in the way of my plans.
In summary, to rock your life and your career:
1) Focus on the now.
2) Like plans, love change.
3) Take risks.
4) Repeat.
In the meantime, I’m accepting that maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship. Or maybe the person that I like isn’t ready. Or maybe we’re not meant to be together. Whatever. The point is, I’m done worrying about it. And I’m ready for today.
57 replies on “Don’t make career plans – here’s why”
Yes! This is great! As much as we want to plan, we’ve got to understand that ultimately, life is about process. We’ve got to try new things and chase our dreams to find our passions. Then, we can build a life (and maybe a career) around them.
The processed life – not the planned one – is the one worth living.
Boy how right you are. My whole impetus for starting a band was because I’d given up on dating altogether and figured I’d need a hobby.
My husband and I were dueling bandmates for about a year before we realized we were the perfect match.
You are right about not being so uber-focused you end up missing out on opportunities, the whole “missing the forest for the trees” thing. I think this can be broadly applied to all areas of your life.
How’d you like the shooting range? I went once, it was horrifying, yet thrilling…
Hey Rebecca,
How are you my friend?
I am living proof you do not need a plan.
I have had a fantastic career and never planned one day of it. Without a career plan I have managed teams of 1000’s, purchased and sold numerous companies, managed multi-million dollar projects, been subjected to many outsourcing deals, travelled around the world, met the most wonderful people and mentored hundreds of individuals.
However, I must disagree with you on one thing. Gun crime in England. If the media is true is it is growing rapidly in the inner cities.
Andrew
Very entertaining post today Rebecca.
The way I see it is going without a plan requires two characteristics/skills to really succeed: patience and trust. You need to trust your skills, upbringing, family, and friends. Without a good set of those, unplanned career and life may be very hectic.
Even more so, patience allows you to wait for the really good stuff and not to jump on a bandwagon just because it may help your career in the short-term. As much as change is important, it has to be the right change!
That’s my two cents. Thanks for the insight Rebecca!
Brandon
I agree but disagree. I don’t think one can plan “specifically” for the future, but I do feel its a necessity to have a dream and long term goal to aspire to. Technology changes rapidly and new opportunities sway us, but in general they need to align to our overarching life goals (career objectives).
It’s hard to control the future, but I think we must choose where to work and how to invest our times to better match up to our dreams.
I don’t feel career planning is dead, but rather revised to take into account that gen-y’ers switch jobs 12-16 times in their careers, thus we can really map out our lives, but we need to ensure that our choices reflect our personal brand.
@ Sam – Well said. It’s interesting how such a simple concept is often not well understood. Thanks for your comment!
@ Milena – I love to hear stories about people who took a long time to figure out they were a match! I loved the shooting range. I wrote about this focus idea in my post but cut it out – That is, what is great about shooting a gun is that your full attention has to be focused. It has to be focused in order for you to be safe, and in order for you to hit the target. Your whole body works for these two things to occur. And in that moment, nothing matters, except, in this case, three little dots. Three little dots on the gun that have to line up in order to hit the target. And I think that’s a good example on how you should live your life. Not to be uber-focused on a plan, but focused on living in the now and enjoying the present.
@ Andrew – Thanks for sharing your story! I don’t know many successful individuals that stuck to a plan, but so many of us hold on to ours so closely! Interesting about gun crime in England. I wonder where they are getting the guns?
@ James – thanks! It was fun to write.
@ Brandon – Great additions! I’ve thought that even before patience and trust, you need to be constantly evaluating yourself and the world around you. Be inquisitive and curious, always ready to learn. I think this is important because we along with the world are constantly changing. So many of us are content to be mediocre and okay with the status quo… well, that leads to mediocre careers. Thanks for the comment!
@ Dan – Great points – I appreciate your perspective. And I agree that we need goals and dreams, but that we shouldn’t expect a certain outcome and instead enjoy the journey as Sam put it.
My personal motto is “It is better to travel well than to arrive.” Living life as a series of ends pales in comparison to enjoying the means, the process by which you arrive. I work hard to achieve my goals, but I always enjoy the process. Like you said, the thrill of something new is always there, even in the details, whether it’s shooting a gun, doing your first P&L sheet for a business idea, or opening yourself up to dating outside of your box.
After all, if you’re not enjoying the process, what are you doing?
i accept what u have said. good thought.
i
Hi Rebecca,
Such a great post for a Monday!
As you know from my work, I’m a big fan of having ‘a plan’ not ‘the plan.’ I think that customizing and using a roadmap for your career in the short-term is a great idea, especially in the early years, as long as you are flexible and willing to adjust the plan as you go. Which is the point of your post, right?
Where I think more young professionals struggle is in the overwhelming process of narrowing down the endless choices of where to start a career – for fear it will take them down a path they can’t get off. Gen Y has seen the effects ‘golden handcuffs’ have had on Boomers and Gen Xers and they don’t want to experience the same problem.
It’s so much easier to move forward in your career (at any age) once you know who you are and what you want – but for the average college grad today, that’s easier said than done.
Anyone struggling to narrow it down?
You’re right on target. Most (if not all) of my plans never came to fruition, because there are so many variables that I could never have planned on. Not to mention, getting too set on a goal could make you short-sighted to what’s going on around you.
Heck, when my wife and I met, we were both specifically NOT looking for a relationship. We were both in places in our life that were pretty full. So we got married 2 years later.
Hi Rebecca,
I like the definition of luck which states that “luck is the point at which preparedness meets opportunity.”
I do not believe in luck as an entity, but I do believe in the concept of preparedness and do seek out opportunity. Both are so dependent upon positioning and vulnerable to timing.
That being said, you may want to add a step 2.5 in your list above and include: position yourself in front of the wave of opportunity.
Sometimes, opportunity, like love, comes when you least expect it. Still, you must be prepared to both recognize and embrace it.
Okay, so for a long, long time I think that I’ve adhered to this philosophy. Live in the now, make a few plans, be flexible, love change, and take risks. I majored in biology, been a winemaker, snowboard instructor, waiter/bartender, traveled to Costa Rica/Europe/and most of the US, been skydiving, rockclimbing, and yet somehow love to stay home and relax with a good book. It’s been a wild and extremely varied ride. Today, I’m in a line of work where the value of my services increases the longer I am in this profession. As I am getting older (almost 30 now) I am starting to believe in the value of staying on a path. This is a new idea for me. Ask me 5 years ago and I would have said something more similar to your suggestion. One area I have struggled with in my past jobs is that I lacked some of the focus to become really great. I truly did like change and wanted to experience as many things as possible before “deciding” on the path. I still like change and want to remain open to whatever might happen in the future. However, I wonder if there is some point at which companies hiring (or customers) will seek out the true “master” of a specific area that has paid the price to stay on the path. To really become the next William McDonough must take some sort of dedication to a specific path. I have a number of friends in the medical field and I admire their dedication to stay on this path to “Doctor”. It’s a long hard road, but in the end seems to be very worth it. Or in some cases maybe not worth it, because obviously there are always exceptions to the rule. Is it possible to “stay on a path” while still taking risks and loving change?
@holly I like that — traveling well sure has made all the difference for me. “Lifestyle” doesn’t seem to have so much to do with what you have, but how you use it.
I can see @Johannes point of missing the career he planned on, but how could he have landed where he is if he wasn’t going for that original goal in the first place??
Sometimes goals are there to get you MOVING. A mentor of mine, Mark Hughes, once said that luck in finding opportunity is usually a combination of timing and persistence, “The more people I talk to, the luckier I get,” he said. That’s sure the truth.
@ Holly – Exactly. I think people are often too wrapped up in planning for the next step, the next big thing, relationship, whatever, at the expense of just enjoying life now. I do this more often than I’d like to admit : )
@ Vijaya – Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
@ J.T. – Yes, that’s exactly what I was saying. I agree that it’s ridiculous hard to narrow the choices, and maybe that’s why many of us hold on to our plans with such a firm grasp. The alternative is overwhelming…
@ Norcross – Ah, loving another story of relationships… : ) I think you say it well when you say it’s getting too set on a goal that makes it difficult to live a full life. Thanks for the comment!
@ Daniel – I’ve found out what you’re saying to be so true. I feel incredibly lucky, but know that it’s a result of hard work. And I think you’re right – step 2.5 should be included. Because sometimes it’s actually quite difficult to accept and jump into an opportunity.
@ Josh – I’m really glad you commented because I was waiting for someone to give a different perspective. I completely agree that we need to focus and have dedication – see my comment to Milena. But still remain open to opportunities. Knowing you personally, I think you’re probably a master at this. I guess I was more trying to argue that we need to be okay when life doesn’t work out the way we want it, and not have tunnel-vision. I know a lot of doctors who aren’t all that happy. It feels great to accomplish such a great feat, but people and the world changes so quickly, it’s hard to know what you’re going to be passionate about the rest of your life. I’m going to keep thinking on this – thanks for bringing it up!
@ Robert – Great points. I agree that we need to keep moving as well. I just see too often – including myself! – people holding on to one set path and when that’s not working we don’t really move forward. And with Johannes, I think that’s a little what he’s going through now. But everything happens for a reason, no? Thanks for another perspective : )
@ Rebecca – Fabulous insight, humorous story. As I read this post I was nodding at everything you said… until I reached Lavik’s comment. He totally nailed the problem!
@ Josh – You must be a lost twin of mine! You described very much the mentality I am acquiring now — as well as the weakness, i.e. “I lacked some of the focus to become really great.”
Well, if I had stayed in any of my fields (physics, math, education, engineering) long enough, I might have become really great at one of them. Then again, I might find myself to be a grumpy mediocre professor when I have my midlife crisis. (Oh, the personal insecurity!!) I did the only thing I could think of doing: Change. When there isn’t a family that you have to raise, making changes seems a lot less risky — even though my dad disagrees with that viewpoint on a dozen different levels.
On the bright side, all those changes I made helped me to explore my passion and my limitation. Now I know two things: what I can do really well, and what I want to devote my life to do well. There doesn’t seem to be an intersection between the two of them yet, but I haven’t reached my 30, so I can always pretend that there is time to find the intersection.
[…] think that Rebecca makes a good point in that the less you try to plan and instead live in opportunities now, the better your career will […]
I admire the sense of adventure and flexibility that comes across in this post. However, I tend to agree more with Josh that when it comes to your career — you do have stick to some sort of path.
Perhaps some great opportunities will come up and in those instances you should evaluate them carefully and maybe let them get in the way of your plans. No point passing up something great because it wasn’t part of the five-year plan. But I think a lot of things that look like opportunities might just be distractions — fun and even interesting prospects that aren’t going to meaningfully move you forward.
It’s challenging to distinguish between distractions and opportunities, but I think we need to keep our eye on the plan when something spontaneous comes up.
Is it about the open PATH being a giver of opportunities? Rather than THE PLAN building the career?
…that is what seems to be inciting the most comments.
Rebecca, great post. I agree with you that, unless you fall into a great and amazing career from the get go, there is great value in just going with the flow, experimenting, and enjoying the journey. At some point in your life, though, you’ll probably find yourself wanting to dig a little deeper at something (one of your almost-30 commenters mentioned this). You can actually prepare yourself for that moment with a minimum effort and disruption of the adventure simply by being a bit intentional about it.
You can say to yourself. for example, that you really have no idea what you want to do with your life but that you’re going to try and get the most out of each work experience that comes your way. You can learn at ANY job, even if the only thing you learn is that you hated it.
Another thing you may want to promise yourself is that you won’t let yourself get stuck in jobs you are not absolutely, passionately in love with. This may seem obvious, but truth is, most people don’t get stuck in jobs they hate. Most people get stuck in jobs that neither excite nor repel them. The problem is that once things get comfortable and you are getting your annual salary increases and get vested in the retirement plan and start hearing about how other people are spending years in job searches, leaving might suddenly seem like a less appealing option. Setting an objective before you set on the journey, such as learning as much as you can and, unless you fell in love with the job, leaving it after, say 6 months, you will be less likely to get deterred on your journey.
Bill Gates career plans
A sentence taken from wikipedia –
He enrolled at Harvard College in the fall of 1973 intending to get a pre-law degree,[17] but did not have a definite study plan and eventually left without his degree.
I guess you may say he was flexible, left his options open, saw an opportunity, and took the risks necessary for him to achieve his career goals. It’s much easier said than done and his timing was very good. I don’t agree with some of his business practices but it would be hard to argue that he hasn’t been successful.
Loosely defined (flexible) career or life plans may work the best. That is to say have plans but rather than stay on a straight and narrow path always be willing to re-evaluate your goals as time marches on and act accordingly. Those are some of my thoughts while reading your very good post.
I went through the same thing with planning. The good news is that once you give up on your plans it doesn’t hurt. Life gets easier actually.
Of course on some things I don’t plan enough. For study and work you want to have a little bit of a plan, at least for the next few months. Relationships are different of course.
Good post. I aggree life is way to wacky to have a map for.
4 short years ago this week I found out that the company I was working for was being bought out and closed. Now 4 years later it was probably the best thing that has happen to me in my career (it opened my eyes to see where I could go in the Madison area).
And no worries on finding love. You have all of April to meet your time-line. . .
Good and very interesting points. I made plans for my own life when I started out in law school. I wanted to get on the law journal, debate for the school, and then intern for some of the top firms and then work for a big firm later on. So far, life has thrown some serious kinks into my master plan. I’m not on the law journal anymore, didn’t intern at the top firms and instead interned with the Supreme Court in my country.
Things work out if you let them. and if you live life to the fullest and adjust to the things that come your way. Great insights Rebecca!
Rebecca-
Excellent transition between love, career and life, I enjoyed your post very much.
As far as “life” goes it doesn’t take directions from anyone. Ten years ago I had distinctly different plans for my life, both in love and career. Thankfully life’s curve ball hit me and I pursued a completely different profession than what I had intended. This led me down a path of opportunities and degrees I could not have fathomed before the curve ball. I learned to be opportunistic and optimistic while working hard to obtain goals, but realize those goals may shift along the way…but that’s OK. I now have an excellent and rewarding career, that is only getting better every day.
After the curve ball I also learned to be open to different opportunities for love, and I found it. Fortunately or unfortunately love isn’t always enough and I am now open to the next opportunity for love. I’ve found that a willingness to experience new opportunities from unexpected directions can provide significant happiness and reward.
Glad to see you have now experienced shooting a firearm, and better yet, it was with a person who taught you safety and to respect firearms. However, I suggest you research the crime rates in England after the right to bear arms was removed. It is not a pleasant reality. Thankfully we have the 2nd Amendment.
Michael
Plans are great when they’re guidelines you use to help steer and motivate your choices. They’re bad when you can’t function outside of them.
For example, I planned to marry my now fiance about three years ago. Man, I’m glad I was flexible on that point, because it would have been a disaster. We’re both ready for it now, for example. There are many others :)
Careers are the same way. If your plan doesn’t happen and it puts you in a tailspin because your dream job isn’t ready for you when you are or your dream company isn’t hiring when you want to join them, or whatever, it can really hurt if you’re not willing to wait for life to prepare its own plans for you.
Thinking ahead isn’t a bad thing, but living your life as it happens is more important. For sure.
2 years ago, I kept telling everyone that I already knew my husband, I just wasn’t sure who that man would be. But I knew that I knew him. And everyone laughed. Particularly my friend Kelly who kept telling me that it doesn’t work like that. Fast forward two years: I’m now married to Kelly’s brother.
That mentality is the story of my life: I know when I’m actually ready for something to happen, regardless of what the plan says or what everyone else thinks. It took a long time to be able to trust my ability to know myself but the stress of life and planning is considerably less than it ever was before.
…and don’t underestimate the power of serendipity.
Hi everyone- sorry for the delay – again! I’ve been sick – again! But am better now. I promise I won’t make these delays a pattern.
@ Gene – you can’t give Josh all the love. My whole post is about change! ; )
@ Jaclyn – I see where you’re coming from. And plans are good. But those big long-term plans? They don’t work out. I’m just telling you now so you can save yourself the trouble : )
@ thrive – yeah… you got it…
@ Izabella – thanks for the great comment! Agreed. I just also feel like many people, like myself, know what we like, and need to be open to all the opportunities that come up. I love writing. I was going to be a journalist (among other things). I’m not, and it’s okay. It’s good to have plans as long as you’re defined by them.
@ Mark W. – thanks for the info on Bill Gates! I love hearing stories like that.
@ Michael H. – Relationships are different, huh? I feel like there are so many parallels between work and love though! Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong though? ; )
@ Ryan – thanks for sharing your story! And yes, I’m optimistic. All of April DOES remain!
@ Kelvin – Supreme Court sounds like a pretty good detour from the plan – good work!
@ Michael N. – I’m glad you enjoyed the post and appreciate you sharing your story. I guess England isn’t as safe as I thought. Do you live there? My sister is there. I won’t say much more than that since I think it annoys her that I tell random people where she lives : )
@ Tiffany – glad to see we’re on the same wavelength. I love how you summed it up in the last sentence. For sure!
@ Dorie – I loved that story. Makes me smile. I think knowing yourself is the hardest and most rewarding thing you can do!
@ Leonard – Serendipity, good. You know what I really like? Planned spontaneity.. is that the same at all?
@ Izabella – it should say “It’s good to have plans as long as you’re NOT defined by them.” Oops.
Rebecca,
Guns! Don’t know where they get them from, I’ve been trying to get one for ages and failed.
Andrew
ps only kidding!
Rebecca, I was following a comment you left on my blog and found myself here. This was the first post I read and it was great! Plans, change, shooting guns… If you’d included New Orleans Funk, it would have been perfect.
Vista is telling me I need to reboot now to upgrade Evernote, but I’ll be back! (Arnold Schwarzenegger is also well known for his intense focus on now.)
Todd (AKA Bandit)
Brilliantly entertaining, amusing, and poignant in that special way that only plans run awry can foster.
It sounds like you have created an excellent plan going forward — hmm, oh dear … one can only imagine what may happen with that plan.
Either way, best success with any plans you make, or choose not to make. Besides, the best plans are those made in the past — it’s the best way to insure their unfaltering success.
cheers
Hi Rebecca,
Can i put ur post on “Don’t plan your career” in my Google notebook.
waiting for ur kind reply.
Thx,
Vijaya
@ Andrew – haha. They must be importing them from somewhere!
@ Todd – thanks so much. I look forward to seeing you back soon. I’ve been really enjoying your blog since I found it as well.
@ Brian – Thanks for your kind comment. I’ll keep you updated on where the new “plan” goes ; )
@ Vijaya – Sure, I don’t see why not. As long as you attribute the writing to me, you can post it anywhere!
Rebecca,
Excellent! Looking forward to the update. Of course, remember, the best plans are served up with a side of wasabi ;)
I sort of agree sort of disagree with you. Career plan, life plan, love plan, BUSINESS plan….best advice I ever got was “80% today is better than 100% tomorrow.” Lay down some tracks but don’t be afraid to change course. I liked your point about flexibility…I think that’s definately key.
[…] normal,” Hercules replied, “gets you a middle-class life in the suburbs. It’s fifth place, and you know you want […]
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[…] I’ve spent a fair share of my time doing the same thing. Trying to cipher out what I did wrong or right, or what someone else did wrong or right, that landed me in this particular unexpected bend of the road. That’s the thing about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans. So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and flexible for the opportunities that come your way. – Rebecca Thorman, Modite […]
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u sure edit the negative comment, it seems!
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Nicely written. To add to it , I would quote from one of my personal favourites – Steve Jobs’ address to the Stanford Graduating class of 2005 (video is on youtube). He shared some interesting anecdotes on his life’s ups and downs and how he magically got to where he was ” You can’t connect the dots in your life going forward, they can only be connected in reverse, in hindsight ” , so “stay hungry, stay foolish”.
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I hate blogs. And for that reason I don’t read them. But I found yours. And I love it. But I can’t read it because I think I’m falling in love with you.
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LOVE this post. I’m a rising senior and in career limbo land…and I agree that life rarely conforms to your plans. All the internships and opportunities I’ve had were things I never could have dreamed up on my own. I hesitate to choose a set path because that might preclude opportunities or job positions that someone infinitely craftier than myself imagined. So why not roll with the punches? Thanks for all your great writing on modite!
[…] about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans,” career expert Rebecca Healy wrote for Kontrary. “So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and […]