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651

Saga of the Wine Tube

Wine Rack

This was a gift from Ryan recently; it’s a wine tube and I loooove it. Let me tell you why. First off, I’ve been lusting after this wine tube for more than a year. I actually tried to buy it from a discount online retailer, only to learn that the store was fake and they had stolen my money (shame on them!), but that didn’t dissuade me from going to a real store, The Century House, every couple weekends to lust after it in person. When it was finally in my hands, I was delighted to say the least.

But let me tell you, this thing was hell to attach to the wall.  I have never used profanity on this blog, but trust me, it is needed in this case. First of all, you have to use wall plugs, which you may already know are a huge pain to push – no, pound – into drywall, in order to attach the thing securely. Which I did after a copious amount of energy. I was feeling pretty good about my work and stepped back to admire it, except, what? Is this thing crooked?! Why, yes, it is. Crap. (Except I used a far harsher expletive).

So I had to take this thing off the wall, try to get one of the plugs out of the wall successsfully – plugs that are designed to stay in the wall once they’re there – and start completely over. I very nearly broke completely down. You have no idea.

But see the pretty photo above? Success! And I even got some more wine to display and enjoy. Because I deserve this wine tube. A lot.

Categories
Career Leadership Women

Career women should try harder – especially in the Midwest

Ryan and I recently celebrated one year of dating officially. What makes this more impressive is that we’re both extremely career-oriented. Even more extraordinary is the fact that we’re not married with babies.

There’s a lot of pressure to settle down, never mind the fact that I don’t feel anywhere near ready to have children. And while I can imagine my life with Ryan, I don’t see the rush. With previous boyfriends, things could have ended at any moment. Now I have time.

In the Midwest, however, I do not. Twenty-six years of age is starting to get old and the female role models to dispel such rumors are few and far between. I can’t, in fact, think of a single woman in Madison that I look up to and follow for her career. Perhaps because the women I know in leadership roles exemplify negative stereotypes, and perhaps because there are simply more men than women leading business here.

It’s difficult, yes. When I graduated college and entered the real world, I had no idea how difficult it would be. Even in the start-up world, women are barely a consideration. When it comes to founding successful companies, apparently old guys rule. Young guys have a shot too. But women aren’t even part of the equation.

And while I love my job and am lucky to have been given opportunities I wasn’t afforded in previous positions, the patterns, however unintentional, are still there. It’s predominately male in our office and women are predictably relegated to the customer service and marketing departments.

The same pattern is propagated throughout society. For instance, Nisha Chittal reports on a study from Media Matters for America that shows on average, Sunday Morning show guests are 80 percent male (on shows like Chris Matthews, Fox News Sunday, Face the Nation, and Meet the Press).

And yet women do seem to make great strides career-wise. Ernst & Young went so far as to say that the world needs more female bosses. “Investing in women to drive economic growth is not simply about morality or fairness. It’s about honing a competitive edge,” Ernst & Young chairman and CEO Lou Pagnutti said. “Women have contributed more to global GDP growth than have either new technology or the new giants, China and India.”

But the Midwest seems to be particularly fond of holding onto the old formula of success for women: meet, marry, opt-out. This is purely anecdotal of course. The newest Census study shows it’s actually a myth that privileged, well-educated women are opting-out. Even when broken down by geographic location, the Midwest has drastically more married couples with children and both parents in the labor force, compared to say, California or New York (see page 15 in the report).

Which makes me think we’re not telling the right stories.

I recently broke down to Ryan, “I don’t want to be like the young couples we sit with at weddings or the rich ones we meet at events. Their eyes are so vacant. So disappointed. They’re stunned or seemingly regretful. It scares me.”

“Rebecca,” he replied, “do you think we’re anything like those couples?”

I sniffled and agreed, maybe he was right. But I need women to be stronger role models and more outspoken – whatever path they choose. I don’t want to be afraid of motherhood. And I don’t want to be afraid of missed opportunity either.

There are some enthralling stories about the beautiful complexity that is marriage and motherhood. But these stories just don’t exist about being a woman in the workplace. We need to start telling those. Now. Not just recognizing powerful career women, say on a list or with an award, but telling the stories that infuse society. I need to hear more stories with women that inform my consciousness each morning. And I need to hear them right here in Wisconsin.

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Photos

Snack

Snack

Pumpernickel and onion pretzel sticks and tomato basil cheese curds. Hmmm… cheese curds.

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Bonus Content Engagement Guest Posts Inspiration Philanthropy

A plan to change the world

I have a dream book. Not the kind where you put your sleepy, bleary-eyed memories of the night before under shut-eye, but the kind where you sprint to write down all the excitement in your chest before it escapes you forever. The kind where you write down how, exactly, you plan to change the world.

I’ve had this dream book since Christmas of 1998, a gift from my mother. I read it over the other day, and smiled at this entry –

“I want my generation, the time that I live, to be great and remarkable and groundbreaking. I want my generation to be the one with the first black and woman presidents.”

This was before Obama and Hillary declared their intention to run for President of course, and before I knew how close my dream would soon be a reality.  And as I read those words, I got goosebumps that something that I desired so badly had come true.

Most of the dreams laid forth in the book aren’t as grand though. They’re more to do with me, less to do with the world. And yet, for eleven years, the same themes keep popping up. Keep returning and haunting the page. For eleven years, I’ve wanted to change the world in the same ways, and for eleven years, I haven’t.

Now, to be fair, I’ve done quite a bit. And an outsider would probably say that my involvement in changing the world, while not extraordinary by any means, is passable for the average human. I’ve made a difference. And that’s good.

But in my dream book, the one where it’s quite visible that my mind is racing faster than my pen can keep up, I don’t want to be average. I want to inspire and empower and make change. Like in education. And equality in design. And the environment. And public art. Things that connect people and community and show our common humanity.

And at the end of my life, I hope it’s goosebump city from so many of my dreams coming true. Today though, I’m going to stop writing in my dream book, because there are enough words. Now it’s time for action.

This was originally posted on Akhila Kolisetty’s Be the Change series. Go ahead, take a peek, and share your comments over there. 

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Character Style Wishlist

Plaid Pintuck

I really want this dress, but am trying to stay on budget. On to the wishlist it goes.

Via Spool No. 72., $62.

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Monthly Goal Meet-Up

October Monthly Goal Meet-Up

October: Grace Boyle

Grace Boyle of Small Hands, Big Ideas (above) rocked yoga last month. I selfishly wanted to feature her for inspiration because I hate the gym. And it hates me. Okay, really I love it, but who has time to exercise? No, seriously. I’m constantly exhausted, often to the point where I worry myself into thinking something is seriously wrong, when in reality? I need movement.The kind that doesn’t require my wrist being glued to my mouse.

Here’s what I did cross off for September:

September Goals

1. Start to exercise once a week.
2. Get 30% more blog and PR coverage for Alice than I did in August.
3. Update and automate budget to appropriately allocate money toward credit card debt and savings accounts.
4. Start writing weekly on Modite again.

My favorite accomplishment was creating a spending plan, a savings plan and a debt-reduction plan. Oh, spreadsheets, how I adore thee. It was also nice to start writing weekly on Modite again, a habit that’s a bit like settling into the arms of your boyfriend. With Alice, even though I met my goal, I didn’t feel like I stepped things up the way I intended so I’m taking a more holistic approach for October. Here’s what I’m looking forward to:

October Goals

1. Run! Yoga! Elliptical! Twice a week = happy life.
2. Stick to completely realistic budget.
3. Develop and implement 3-month Alice PR plan.
4. Write twice weekly on Modite.
5. Throw an appetizer and wine party.

I’m stepping everything up a notch for October and adding the dinner party for some fun. Plus, I love my condo, and I think it’s perfect for entertaining. The list is ambitious, but I’m hoping each item will help spur the others along.

Your turn! What did you cross off for September? What’s got you excited for October?

_____________________________________________________________________

To participate in the meet-up:

1. Post a list of your career/life related goals for Oct, along with your checked off Sept goals if you’d like, on your own blog.
2. Come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments (*If you don’t have your own blog, feel free to share your list here in the comments to join in!)
3. Then, check out everyone else’s lists as they leave comments – click their links, visit their blogs, say hello, meet, greet and support each other because that’s what it’s all about!

___________________________________________________________________

Whoo! Good luck this month. I have a special mid-month reminder to look forward to, and the next meet-up will be Friday,  October 30th so that we can set goals for November. I’m marking my calendar for it now, and look forward to seeing your October goals in the meantime!

Categories
Career Leadership Management Self-management

Become an expert quickly

There are two ways to approach life. Read about it. Or live it.

I read a lot. I like to synthesize information together, saturate my brain synapses, make connections, and curate the exact pieces that will fit my life. Knowledge is my thing.

But it doesn’t matter how much I read, or attend lectures, or watch TED talks, or troll Twitter for the next most interesting blog post. Most of that learning stuff is useless; there’s no better way to learn than to just do.

Become an expert {Phase 1}
Action is the first step. That’s why I encourage job-hopping. Most people don’t know what they like or what they’re good at. Like you could really want to be a CEO, yearn for it with all the matter in your body and brain, and then regrettably discover that you suck as a CEO.

Or maybe you’re really fabulous. A veritable genius! The point is, without working it out for yourself, you’re stuck on the path that others have already laid out. And yeah, that’s a safe plan, I don’t blame you. Our education system is certainly not set up to handle exploration or deviation from a set course. And entering the real world closes the door all together.

In school and at the workplace we’re told exactly how to do tasks, without learning the full explanation behind it. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell tells the story of a young woman who is trying to solve a mathematical problem. She’s not told the way others have solved the problem, but instead is problem-solving on her own.

Gladwell recounts that when she figures it out, her face lights up: “Ohhh. Okay. Now I see. The slope of a vertical line is undefined. That means something now. I won’t forget that!”

The young woman is working with a professor who encourages his students to unlearn the mathematical habits they picked up on the way to university. Because it’s not about memorizing the right way to do something, but your ability to try that determines your success.

“Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds,” Gladwell reports.

In order to drive innovation, we need time and space to explore, not regurgitate. To become the master of a topic, you need to understand its underbelly, where it came from, where it’s going, not just the flashy exterior.

Become an expert {Phase 2 – quickly}
Most people are stuck in the land of daydreams and don’t actually reach action, so if you’ve mastered that, pat yourself on the back. I just gave myself a little pat. Go on, you too. Now we’re moving into advanced world domination.

Exploring a topic from top to bottom is all good and well, but what if you don’t have 10,000 hours to devote? What if there was a short-cut? A way that actually helped you make more fiery synapses connections?

I realize I’m starting to sound like an infomercial here, so stay with me.

First, let me preface by saying there’s no substitute for action. And what I’m about to propose isn’t something you should do in lieu of cooking every night if you want to be a chef, but it is the way to super-size what you learn from cooking every night. In an Einstein sort of way, not Mickey D’s.

So tell me, how well can you explain what you do? How well do you understand your passion? Could you teach someone else to do it?

When you do something like send a pitch, for example, you’re learning. You’re testing your ideas and theories through the reaction you receive, the resulting outcome. In this paradigm, it’s okay to fail, you discover through trial and error, and through persistence and hard work, you win.

But there’s an entire level of awesomeness missing. And you can only ascend to the next level by then teaching someone what you have learned. Because then you’re testing your values, ideas and theories with another person’s values, ideas and theories. You understand the underlying challenge more by defining it for another. Teaching – good teaching – requires you to exchange knowledge, not simply impart it. Learning is individual. Teaching is collaborative.

“Nobel laureate physicists such as Enrico Fermi and Leon Lederman took pride in teaching bright undergraduates,” reports Michael Schrage in Harvard Business, “because it forced them to keep in touch with the fundamentals of their field and express themselves simply and clearly.”

I had no idea how to write a stellar cover letter and resume until I started teaching others to do theirs. Groups comprised of individuals in different skill sets – say, marketing, design and finance – thrive when they teach each other. Life-coaches may be so prevalent right now because the coaches help themselves as much as they help clients.

Teaching is sharing knowledge, sharing empathy, sharing ideas. It’s pushing you to understand with entirely different lenses. Just like your body needs both cardio and strength training, your mind needs both learning and teaching.

Teaching is the definitive learning experience. And it’s the quickest way to expertise.

Categories
Photos

Weekend

065

Ryan and I went to Illinois for a couple days this weekend to visit my Mom and Uncle. We also went to Allerton, a park I used to go to when I was little and my mom went to when she was little before me.

All around the estate are statues: some amusing, some intimidating, some majestic. And it occurs to me as I look through the pictures of our trip that Allerton is probably where I first started to appreciate art.

Categories
Photos

Best Games Ever

Best Games Ever

The photo above is of the two greatest games ever: Skip-Bo and Rummy. Unfortunately, the photo is missing Yahtzee. Each of which I always win at.

Categories
Happiness Monthly Goal Meet-Up

September Goal Check-In and Thoughts on Happiness

It’s goal meet-up check-in time! This is your mid-month reminder to take a breath and see how you’re coming along. How are you all doing?

I’m not doing too badly, but the coming of Fall seems to be an unofficial New Year where all your dreams and thoughts and ideas bubble to the surface. So I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with not just my goals, but everything I want to do. Do you feel that way? Like, I’m walking against the wind, and try my darndest, I’m just not getting anywhere.

“That’s called the dip,” Ryan reminds me. “You’re trying to get to the other side. It’ll happen. Have you read The Dip?”

“No,” I pout. “Seth is overrated.”

“You should read The Dip. You’ll like it.”

“Hmph.”

“So, remember when we walked around New York City and you gazed wide-eyed at the sights like a newborn baby?”

“What?!”

The infuriating thing about Ryan is that when I’m trying to be in a bad mood he’ll make a funny face or say something so ridiculous or sweet or something that I am forced to stomp off.

“Stop trying to make me smile!” I say in between halting giggles. “I hate when you try to make me happy when I want to be angry!”

And it is in that maddening moment that Ryan laughs at my insistence to be cross. Which is quite unnecessary because clearly he has already won along with life. Despite my best efforts to control it, life wants me to be happy. Even during this stupid dip.

So, in the spirit of happiness, I’m sharing the photo below of the two greatest games ever: Skip-Bo and Rummy. Unfortunately, the photo is missing Yahtzee. Each of which I always win at.

Best Games Ever

Also, thank you to everyone who is participating or following along in the meet-up. Keep walking into the wind, my friends!

Categories
Career Get a Raise Negotiating

Get a raise in the recession

People are afraid of asking for a raise now more than ever. In fact, the recession is providing a good excuse for employees to not ask for more money, and for companies not to give any. But high performers can and should be compensated.

To get a raise, you first need to be aware of the three contingencies raises are based on:

Past Performance (and the learning curve)
All jobs have learning curves. What took you eight hours a day at the start of your position will slowly taper off until you start to get bored six months in. Good employees realize this and try to shorten the learning curve as quickly as possible by completing stellar and quality work right away. How quickly you’re able to shorten the curve often determines how quickly your first review and raise will be.

Future Opportunity (and taking on more responsibility)
Once you master your initial set of responsibilities, it’s time to start looking for more. You should first look for the low-hanging fruit; tasks that have been overlooked in which you can easily shine in. This might be tracking and measurement, or the suggestion of a weekly meeting. Whatever it is, you should make sure your superiors know you are looking to do and be more.

Second, you should also be strategically thinking about your next step and title in the company. If you want to expand your design role to include rendering in addition to drafting, you should try to take on as many rendering projects as you can before your review. New titles (and the accompanying compensation) aren’t awarded to people who haven’t already been doing the work. In other words, don’t wait for the title to impress.

Many companies won’t have such opportunities for advancement, however – either they aren’t willing or aren’t able – and that’s when you should start looking for a new job.

Market Value (and how adaptable are you)
There are a ton of social media jobs out there right now. There are also a lot of people who can’t execute on social media. Which leaves the people who can in a great negotiating position.

For those positions that don’t carry such great demand – say, journalists – you’ll need to figure out how to keep yourself and your position relevant. This doesn’t mean saving the entire journalistic profession, but being creative in the responsibilities you take on. It’s good to think of yourself in both positions at once, however, since the market varies and changes from year to year.

Once you understand the three contingencies, it’s time to put together an action plan:

1. Be proactive. Bad companies will put off your review on purpose. Good companies will too. There’s no reason for employers to pay you more if you’re not asking for it. Be proactive in checking in with your boss throughout each month, and scheduling reviews often. It’s often helpful to schedule your next review at your current one (“I’d like to meet again in three months to talk about the possibility of a new title and an additional raise.”) When you set up a meeting with the expectation that you’ll be discussing a raise, the conversation becomes easier.

2. Research and prepare. Even if you don’t show your boss, prepare a document of your past accomplishments and proposed future responsibilities. This gives you a list of relevant talking points during your meeting. In that document, include a salary number and back it up with research on what other people in similar positions are making. I recommend listing the number a bit larger than you expect so that you have some negotiating room and can meet your employer in the middle.

3. Practice. Just because you have everything written down doesn’t mean you won’t stumble in the meeting. Practice phrasing some of your key accomplishments and especially practice stating how much salary you’d like. Just say it aloud a few times to make it less scary.

4. Negotiate. Negotiating for a raise is incredibly hard, made even more so by the fact that your boss has probably just finished a glowing review, and it seems like an especially inopportune time to ask for more. (Or is that just me?) But not only is it the right time, it’s the only time. Go for it! Some employers will tell you right away whether the amount you’re asking for is something they can do, others will want to check and get back to you. Be prepared for either possibility.

5. Negotiate again. It’s very rare for a company not to be able to give a high performer a raise, even in the recession. When more money really is impossible – say, when you work at a University and they’ve declared that not only will there be no raises, but there will be pay cuts – you should still ask for more. You don’t have to ask for more money, but make sure you’re asking for more of something.

For instance, a smart woman I know negotiated additional paid time-off in lieu of more zeros on her paycheck. Just be careful that you’re not setting a precedent that the ability to work from home, gain additional stock options, or attend a conference is how you want to be compensated in the future. Unless, of course, it is.

What do you think? Is it difficult to get a raise in recession? If you’ve been successful, what were your strategies?

Categories
Character Design2 Wishlist

Modern Heraldry Rug

This rug is gorgeous and I totally want it to replace my white rug in my living room, but they don’t have a 5′ x 8′, only 5′ x 7′. Bummer.

Via Anthropologie, $398.