Author: Rebecca Healy
My goal is to help you find meaningful work, enjoy the heck out of it, and earn more money.
I’m so excited to tell you about two things:
1) Hear my voice. If there was ever a way for you to get the New Year started off right, this is it. Andrew Rondeau has interviewed me as part of his Great Successful People package. There are 41:50 minutes worth of me talking and I give some good advice, if I do say so myself. And I even talk about you, my dear reader!
I’m not the only person interviewed, however. Others include John Kotter, Penelope Trunk, Ben Casnocha, Scot Herrick, and oh-so-many more. PLUS, Andrew has a great British accent that is much fun to listen to.
All of the interviews are available for a discounted price before February 15, and Andrew has kindly offered to share his profits with the interviewees, so support me by checking out Great Successful People today >
2) Develop your voice. The third issue of Personal Branding Magazine is also out, which I again helped to edit. Dan Schawbel, personal-brand-expert-extraordinare, has put together a great collection of articles, and the third issue is a huge improvement over the first and second (which were also great).
This issue is focused on brand influencers, and includes articles from several of my blogging friends like Ryan Healy at Employee Evolution and Tiffany Monhollon of Personal PR. Check it out>
Thank you for supporting both projects!
I was sitting in a classroom. The walls were covered in plaster and moldings, but behind all that was red brick, so red that the color seeped through the cracks of the old windows, and the sun, and the light, and the energy filled the almost summer air.
It was a time when I was – more or less – happy, and we were seated, twenty or twenty-five of us. Our desks outlined a jagged circle, and I was trying not to check out the young man three desks to the right, because I was still dating my first real boyfriend, trying to make it work from four hours away.
We sat and spoke of our beliefs, the environment, of possibilities. It was the discussion I had come to college for. One that I had looked forward to since the movie Dead Poet’s Society. One that I thought I would have again and again when I moved into my own apartment someday, with paint on the floor and ink stained on my fingers, groups of friends visiting at all hours. Rules would be broken, the establishment dismantled, dreams fulfilled.
But soon, too soon, the imagination of the discussion in that classroom petered out like a mandatory orgasm. And we didn’t stay long after either, filing out of the room like an Orwellian army.
No yelling, no protest, no change. Not even the slightest smell of melodrama lingered in the air.
That was the day that I learned we weren’t like other generations. And it wasn’t all gravy.
Thomas Friedman calls this phenomenon – our generation – quiet. Too quiet, in fact. Penelope Trunk calls us conservative. Not like politically conservative, but lifestyle conservative. As in none of us, except me I guess, are found in dark corners balling our eyes out. Generation Y is balanced like vanilla. Idealism with a cherry on top.
You know, that’s not all bad either, contrary to my sarcasm-infused tone. We’re vanilla vocally because we mainly agree on things. It’s not like the Vietnam war, or women getting the vote, or abolishing slavery where there were clear sides, right or wrong, multiple or few . You know, like, opinions – impassioned and defining.
We don’t really have opinions much anymore. We have beliefs. Opinions are contested. Beliefs are “the acceptance of and conviction in the truth, actuality, or validity of something,” and offensive to question.
These beliefs include that global warming is a problem. The Iraq war sucks. We should all be treated equal. We’re nodding our heads in unison like bobble heads lined up on a bookshelf. Smiling bobble heads, of course. We can’t forget about our idealism.
We are a teamwork generation, fully in line with each other. This, again, is a good thing. Top-down management will not survive the knowledge economy. And so, teamwork, and thus, Generation Y, is inherently conservative precisely because there is consensus, Trunk argues.
But when you seek only consensus and you don’t strongly encourage- nay, require – opinions to be voiced, challenged, turned upside down and explored like a mother searches for lice on her child’s head, then you aren’t coming to a rousing, exciting, and motivating consensus.
Generation Y is so overly focused on the yin of consensus that we’ve lost its yang of conflict. Like Seinfeld’s black and white cookie, the idea of yin and yang in Chinese philosophy is that positive and negative forces act together in order create energy. They are in constant battle, each trying to gain dominance, and if one succeeds in doing so then we are left without balance.
So, without conflict, consensus is a less than thrilling one-night stand.
Nowhere is this as painfully obvious as it is in social media, where we think we’re making a difference by adding the “Causes” application to Facebook, commenting on blogs in such a way as to not offend, where mediocrity reigns supreme, and we insist on engaging in a large amount of narcissistic navel-gazing every Monday morning.
“Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy didn’t change the world by asking people to join their Facebook crusades or to download their platforms… Virtual politics is just that – virtual,” Friedman states.
Ah, when will we learn? Conflict is good, fabulous even! Patrick Lencioni builds an entire fable around this exact idea in his popular book Death by Meeting. He discusses why most meetings suck, the main crux of his theory being that there is no conflict, no drama. No one voices their opinions loud enough in order to be hypothesized, tested, revised.
Think about decisions by committee (read: team). It’s a long, drawn out, excruciating process. The resulting consensus is often a watered-down version of what could have been.
This is the status of Generation Y – a watered-down version of what we could be.
We’re all about the team, but don’t exactly know how to use that effectively, preferring to be quiet, conservative, coloring inside the lines. Meaning, we play by the rules to create change and aren’t aware of what those rules are. Meaning we’re perfectly content not to push boundaries or ourselves.
There is good reason for this. “There is a strong, strong millennial dislike of ambiguity and risk,” Andrea Hershatter says. If the directions aren’t clear, we’re not going on any road trips.
This hesitancy creates a lack of urgency. Change is necessary, but there are no sands through the hourglass urging us that these are the days of our lives. No, we believe our children will deal with it, or someone will deal with it, somewhere, and we’ll just try not to make it worse, and probably – hopefully – make it better. We hope.
Hope. Guffaw.
Screw hope. Where’s the outrage?
If Generation Y is “not spitting mad, well, then they’re just not paying attention,” Friedman argues. “That’s what twentysomethings are for — to light a fire under the country.”
To light a fire, you have to have conflict, and to have conflict, you have to have an opinion.
That’s a good place to start for now. Stop being so nice.
Respect other viewpoints enough to challenge them.
Respect other ideas enough to disagree.
Moon the entire left side of the highway from your car window with your opinion on your backside. Put it out there for all to see.
Look to the cookie.
Found in the closet
We’re all connected, don’t you know
Woodcut print by Nick Wroblewski.
I’ve been writing a lot of crap lately. No, really, I have. You don’t know because I have been gracious enough not to post it, but it’s been crap. Complete and utter sh*t.
I think it’s because I feel obligated to write an inspiring New Years post, but regurgitating what the rest of the world is saying makes me nauseous. And also, I haven’t been too inspired lately, and this blog is supposed to be happy, angry, inspirational, controversial, exciting – anything but depressing – but depressing is the only way to describe my writing as of late.
I was going to show you my calendar of the nineteen meetings I have this week, which is typical. Perhaps too typical as I’ve discovered it’s fairly easy to become fairly crazy fairly quickly.
And speaking of that, has anyone else noticed that it only took a short two years out of college for you to completely lose the ability to go to sleep at 5:00 am one night and wake up absolutely fine, refreshed and ready to face the day the next morning? Because I tried it recently and I can’t do it any longer. I’ve lost this valuable skill at the ripe old age of twenty-four.
But anyway, I was going to explain the masterpiece of scheduling that my calendar is, and describe my system of scheduling meetings according to existing meetings, all packaged nicely and neatly in a pretty list, but it was really boring. Really.
Moreover, it seemed a little misleading to sell you my tricks of the scheduling trade, when I’m so utterly exhausted. And if nothing else, I’m honest.
Honesty has gotten me in trouble lately though. I’m starting to say “no” more often, and stand up for myself, and people don’t really like that. And I’m still figuring out how to deal with that, because I’m saying “no” and I’m standing up for a reason, good reasons, but I’m not sure the other parties feel the same way. And the transition from sugary-sweet observer to strong active leader is blaringly still en route.
Then I thought I would tell you about the resolution I made one Monday afternoon and subsequently broke this past Saturday night. And there’s no point now, which is cool, you know, because it’s cliche fun to break your resolution a week after you’ve made it. Er, whatever.
I also thought about writing how I feel like I can’t trust many people lately, which is bad, because trust is really important to getting things done. Mostly I feel this way because someone I look up to let me down. But to be honest, I had him on a pedestal, so it was only a matter of time before I found out that he didn’t like where I had told him to sit.
Other posts included how listening to old-school music makes me happy, and that exercising is good, but better when the cute personal trainer guy talks to you, or how your number one resolution should be to start a blog in the New Year. And at one point, I even thought about just copying and pasting the lyrics to all the music I was listening to, because it just seemed to say everything that I could not.
But time after time, the posts didn’t make the cut, because there is so much advice out there on how to start your New Year off right, and the sky is still blue (or gray in Madison’s case), and you are still who you are. So don’t worry so much.
This is, after all, the year of the Rat. That means it’s “a lucky year, a good time to start a new venture. The rewards will not come without hard work, but with careful planning they will arrive.”
Great things are going to happen this year. And you’re going to make them happen.
That’s all you need to know.
Get to it.
Thank you notes
This post was originally published at Conversation Agent. Thank you to Valeria Maltoni for the opportunity.
We have a deep desire to feel that rise in our chests, the quickening of our breath, the spread of a smile.
Generation Y wants to change the world.
Not the environment. Not healthcare. Not education. Not poverty. Not racism. Not sexism. Not war. Not cancer. Not anything, really.
Just the world.
We want to change the world.
And in wanting so much, we get so little.
Restlessness courses through our veins, for we are never doing enough or being enough. Volunteering, leadership, and entrepreneurship, nor the eventual acceptance of the mundane satisfies our edge.
And there’s a majority of us who just sit back. We sit back, content to lead mediocre lives. To never step out. To work, to love, to lead good lives. To lead good lives, but not extraordinary.
Who among us will lead an extraordinary life? Who will be the leader who steps out on an issue? Who is strong enough in their beliefs and convictions to not only sell their Volvo for a hybrid, but to tell the world about it and get others to do the same? Who will stand up for the horror and revulsion that plagues our world today?
Because the warmth from our laptop screens does little but light our idle faces.
Who will be loud enough? Who will scream?
There’s an acceptance that it will all get done. And social media will help us do it. This idea that we can bring groups together over the internet through blogging and Facebooking, and that it will create significant change is ridiculous. It’s hiring a gardener for the privilege of missing the sensation of earth between your fingers.
It is powerful, this online community.
But it is not enough.
In finding so many ways to communicate, we are communicating less and less in a way that is valuable and meaningful.
Like the placement of a candle in a window was once long ago, social media is merely an instrument. You still have to show up.
You still have to get dirty.
Sam Davidson tells a good fisherman story about a man that finds another man fishing, and explains to him that if he catches many fish, well he could eventually buy a boat. He could then catch many more fish, and could buy another boat, and another and another until he had a whole fleet of boats. And he would sure catch a lot of fish then, and with all of that he could do whatever he wanted.
And the man replies, “You mean, fish?”
So it goes with social media. There is a man talking to another woman in a coffee shop. He says to her, “you know if we stalked each other on Facebook and cuffed ourselves to our crackberries and twittered it up, we could communicate, and reach out to each other, and have great conversations, and you know, change things!”
And the woman replies, “You mean, like right now?”
We’ve created social media for the privilege of missing the look from someone across the table, face to face, secret to secret, ambition to ambition.
We create online communities that secure our quasi-anonymous lives, and moan about not being able to connect with someone.
When all we really have to do is simply say, “Hello.”
Don’t get me wrong. Facebook is great for all the reasons people say it’s great. But when you focus on how a tool can change the world, instead of the cause itself, you mitigate the importance of taking action.
The amount of effort we put into our relationships is what will create change, not the amount of effort we put into building and maintaining the printing press, the telephone, the television, or the better, more collaborative, more inclusive web.
We have to show up, face to face. Our actions, not the means – technological or not – propel change. Our effort makes the difference.
It will be quite easy, really. If only we paid attention to the rise in our chests, the quickening of our breath, the smile spreading on our face.
Eye to eye leadership.
New here? Check out some recent posts:
Helping your career when you’re not middle-class
12 reasons why being a woman leader is challenging
What passion looks like
7 steps to getting meetings with movers and shakers
Purge first. Creativity second.
13 steps to a must-have talent
I have two talents in the wintertime. One is my ability to walk in high heels on the ice and snow. The other is to make three-dimensional snowflakes. Which has everything to do with Generation Y and leadership. Trust me.
Okay, maybe not. But look for a post on how social media affects Generation Y leadership on Friday. In the meantime, enjoy the snowfall!
While at my mother’s house for the holidays, I demonstrated how to make these snowflakes in thirteen easy steps:
1. Gather the materials (2 pieces of white paper, a pair of scissors, and scotch tape).
2. Cut six equal-sized squares from the paper.
3. Fold each square on the diagonal to create a large triangle (shown), and then again to create a small triangle.
4. Cut four equal-spaced slits towards the fold, being careful not to cut through the fold.
5. Don’t say no to outside help.
6. After cutting six pieces, open each square completely.
7. Bring the middle of one square together, and tape the ends together. Turn the piece over, and bring the next inner set together and tape the ends together (shown).
8. Repeat until an entire diamond segment is complete.
9. Repeat on the other pieces until all six diamonds are complete.
10. Tape three diamonds together, taping first on the sides, and then bringing the three pieces together in the middle.
11. Repeat for the remaining three diamonds, and bring each half of the snowflake together.
12. Tape the two halves together, first in the middle (shown), then on each of the sides.
13. Hang your completed snowflake with cheer, and enjoy!
Happy Winter!
Going round and round
I want to respond to the latest post at Employee Evolution, as I’ve done in the past here. This time, Ryan Healy writes on ways your family can help you with your career. Here’s my take:
I didn’t grow up in upper or middle class, nor did I grow up in poverty.
But a large part of my childhood was being raised in the ghetto of my town by my single mother. People are incredulous when I tell them this.
“Do you even know what the ghetto is, Rebecca?” they ask.
My babysitter acted as my second mother and the neighborhood protector. While my mother worked, my babysitter was the character standing on the corner of her lawn, yelling like a madwoman at the drug dealers to “get the f&*k away” from her street. After one such declaration, I remember thinking that they were going to shoot her. Dead. Then and there. But she was tough. The dealers were afraid of her.
My mother did end up moving us to a decidedly middle class neighborhood as soon as she could, but what I learned from my old neighborhood stuck with me.
The point being that I’m intensely proud of my background, but it wasn’t financially affluent.
So I would never say to my boss, “I live with my parents. I don’t need this job.”
Because I’ve been working from the time I was able, and trust me, I do need this job.
I understand that much of our generation grew up middle class, if not upper middle class. That’s a good thing. If you have the connections, privileges, and opportunities, you should use them. Take full advantage of the help that is available to you.
But we all need to be more grateful of what we have. And we need to realize that not all of us have parents and parent’s friends who can help finance our new company, lifestyle, or potential unemployment.
In my world, performance reviews aren’t based off of your connections or your financial stability. They’re based off of your work and your credentials. But we don’t live in my world. We live in the real world. In the real world, who you know and how much money you have are negotiating gems.
It’s good that you can get ahead by building relationships. This is something you have control of.
It’s not so good that you can get ahead with money if you don’t have any. But this is the reality. If you have the privilege of being able to leave a company that refuses to give you additional responsibility as in Ryan’s example, do so. Grow up. Stop whining. And then move out of your parent’s house.
If you can’t risk losing your job, however, but want more challenge at the workplace, pat yourself on the back. Courage should be rewarded.
Then get creative. Think about how you can take on more work even if the employer isn’t helping you do it. It’s rare that you won’t be able to find more to do.
Maybe it’s related directly to what you’re doing now. Or maybe you start a group of co-workers to green the workplace practices of your employer. Or you develop a set of best practices for your peers. Or you could develop and manage an informal mentoring program within the company. You define your success. True fulfillment isn’t created by your employer, anyway. It’s created when you push yourself.
And most importantly, be proud of your background. Realize that it actually puts you ahead of some of your prosperous peers who don’t have to worry about the rent, or the power bill, or budgeting groceries. Some of the most successful people I know are those who have experienced a large amount of adversity. This doesn’t surprise me. Because when you hit bottom, you only have two choices. Stay there or get up. And when you haven’t hit bottom, you don’t have the same appetite to succeed. Adversity is your ally.